


Lose Yourself

by KelliDiane



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexual Liam, Bisexual Harry, Bisexual Zayn, Endgame Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Multi, Pining Louis, Rough Sex, Stressed Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-09 03:12:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 53,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6887254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KelliDiane/pseuds/KelliDiane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes things happen for a reason. Other times it just seems like everything is going to shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lose Yourself

Students and their families start to show up to the Manchester University campus around noon, crowds buzzing, and the school welcome wagon cheering and giving out free shirts and lanyards with the Spartans emblem emblazoned over everything. 

There's a large, tangerine orange sign draped above the tiered stone steps leading up to the main entrance. Written in white paint and brush strokes are the words 'WELCOME WEEK.' At the top of staircase is Harry, who incidentally became the head of the freshman welcome committee when Patrick came down with food poisoning a few nights ago from that seedy Chinese restaurant Harry warned him about. He's got a clipboard in one hand and a bullhorn in the other, wearing the custom orange polo all committee members had to wear for the first week. Harry wishes it wasn't such an ugly color. 

After a good fifteen minutes Harry walks the few feet towards Liam, who's leaning against a pillar and this year's head RA for their dorm floor. "You think now is a good time to start talking?"

"Yeah. Just remember to keep it brief since we only have two hours till our lunch break and we need to check all these kids in before then." Liam is looking at his phone, the welcome week schedule pulled up so he knows where everyone is supposed to be. "As soon as you're done, I'll be in the golf cart over there. We'll book it back to the dorm building and hopefully beat the rush of kids."

He looks at the crowd of at least four hundred kids and he's glad the University decided to assign each dorm a time slot for check in. "I'll be in the lobby of the building doing the main check. We only have one hundred and five kids on our floor. Can you handle checking them all in by yourself? Niall can check them off on the paper, but you'll have to get their keys and show them to their dorm."

Honestly Harry really didn't want to do this, he's fine with spending time with the children at the primary school he's getting his volunteer credit from but anyone older than ten is another story. Harry's pretty sure Niall is the only one his age he can stand to be around for long periods of time, then again Niall was pretty much a man child. 

"Right, yeah I don't think it'll be a problem." He finally says.

Liam waves his hand to let Harry start his speech. "Go ahead. I'll be in the golf cart."

Clearing his throat, Harry turns the bullhorn on and brings the mouthpiece to his lips, looking down at the sloppy penmanship of his speech he had tried to quickly write out an hour ago. "Uh, welcome incoming freshmen and families to Manchester University, my name is Harry and I'll be one of the many campus volunteers you can find wearing one of these shirts. No other school has a better curriculum, academic variety, or spirit like the Spartans do. On your handout you'll see your dorm building name and room number, you'll head to your respective dorms to check in with both the RD and RA for your floor, who will give you your keys and show you to your room as well as go over the rules for your building and the campus in general. If you have any questions please direct them to the other volunteers. With that, welcome to Man U."

The crowd roars and volunteers around the edges of the crowd start cheering and directing freshman towards the different buildings.

"Spartan Hall is to the left!"

"Windsor Hall is around the Quad!"

Liam looks up from his phone to see Harry jogging down the trail towards the golf cart. "Wonderful speech! Let's go!"

Harry slides into the seat next to Liam, setting the bullhorn between his ankles. "Thanks, it was very on the spot. I couldn't read half of my own writing."

"Happens to the best of us. I had to give that speech last year and I prattled on for thirty minutes about nothing." Liam hurries the golf cart back towards Yorkshire Hall before parking it outside. "You ready for this? I know they made you an RA at the last minute so you missed most of training..."

"Well, I figure I didn't pay any attention in secondary and I still graduated with decent marks. Maybe I can wing this too." Harry steps out of the cart and heads to the door, holding the small magnet key against the scanner mounted on the wall by the entrance.

The door beeps loudly and Liam pulls it open before setting a brick against the bottom to hold it open for the students. "True enough. Lucky for us, our hall is mainly upperclassmen and transfer students. They should be a breeze to deal with."

Harry heads in first, trekking across the lobby to the elevator, pressing the button on the side. "After this is all said and done, I hope you don't mind but Nadine and I are going to try and go catch a movie."

"That should be fine. Just check with me before you leave. We might get additional instructions." Liam says as he waves to the RD who is going to be sitting with him. "Niall texted and said he's up at the third floor table already. This year might actually go smoothly."

Harry nods and presses the button for the elevator, letting the contraption know that he was waiting for it. "Considering I'm only an RA by default I really can't afford for it not to go smoothly."

"Well, they can't really fire you at this point." Liam says cheerfully as the elevator announces its arrival with a ding and the doors slide open.

Being fired is the least of Harry's concerns honestly. Heading into the hall he sees Niall standing by the welcome table. 

Looking up, Niall waves both of them over tucking the pen he's been holding behind his ear. "I made two lists, the returning class and the transfer students."

"How many transfers do we have? They're the ones we'll need to worry about the most. The returners know exactly what to expect and everything." Liam takes the two lists into his hands.

"Twenty five I think." Niall shrugs and starts scrolling through his phone, answering a good morning text from Zayn.

"I'm going to make a copy of this so I can know when all our transfers are in." Liam can hear the cheering coming from outside and sighs. "Here they come. Guess I should head downstairs. Remember: two hours."

"We'll pull the fire alarm if we need to," Niall says, neatly stacking the papers and lying pens out across the table. 

Harry rolls his eyes and looks to Liam, "we won't actually pull the fire alarm."

Liam eyes the two carefully before shaking his head and heading back towards the elevator. "You two are hopeless," he shouts as the doors close behind him.

Niall laughs loudly as he leans back in his chair. "Mate, you're so lucky to be rooming with someone you know. I have a transfer."

"Who knows, maybe you'll like him." Harry shrugs standing by the stairwell where he can already hear the growing commotion from downstairs.

There's cheering and yelling coming from the stairwell as volunteers continue to higher floors or stop off at Harry's floor.

The first kid has his pass point in hand and he's smiling brightly. "Justin Beiber? Uh, I'm a study abroad from America. This is Yorkshire Hall, yeah?"

Harry nods a confirmation and looks at the roster in his hand, finding Justin's name among the others with a last name beginning with B. "Alright your dorm is going to be 302, Niall over there can show you where to go."

Niall smiles brightly and grabs one of two keys for the dorm room in question. "Oh! You're rooming with Nick Grimshaw! He's a fifth year senior. He's awesome!"

As the two disappear down the hall, more and more students pile up at the RA desk.

Honestly, the school should have assigned more volunteers to help out on each floor. Oh well, nothing he can really do now. "I need everyone in a single file line! When you get to me give me your name and I'll direct you towards your dorm."

Niall's laughter reaches the front hall before he does. When he finally pokes his head into the room, it's a mad house. Harry is shouting, trying to get the mob’s attention. "Oh, Jesus."

He stands on a chair and begins to shout out. "Oi! Listen up!" The mob quiets down and stares at the blond. "We're a bit understaffed. One of the volunteers has food poisoning, so we're going to do our best. We have one check in sheet, so we need you form a single file and orderly line. When you reach the table, give us your name and we'll give you a key. In order to try and help as many of you at one time, I'll direct you to either side of the lobby. You will wait there until there's a sizeable group and then Harry or myself will take the whole group down the hall to see you to your room. Got it?"

Everyone seems to agree to that and Harry rolls his eyes. Niall isn't even an RA and he's doing a better job than Harry is.

Niall climbs down and looks to Harry. "Alright. Let's get this going. We have two hours to get these guys into their dorms."

\------------

Two hours, one hundred and four boys, and three hundred and seventy-five bags later, they manage to get finished on time.

"Fucking hell. Remind me not to volunteer next year. That was stressful as fuck." Niall complains loudly as he scans his eyes over their student roster. "All returning students are checked in and twenty-four of twenty-five transfers are checked in."

He presses the down button for the elevator and rubs at his aching knee. "Should probably check with Liam to make sure he hasn't checked in at the front lobby desk."

Harry nods and stretches his arms above his head, the hem of his shirt rising up slightly. "You sure you don't want me to do it? I don't have the bum knee here."

"Nah, I got it. Besides, you and Nadine need to go out. You didn't see each other all summer since she took classes, right?" Niall happily waltzes into the metal box once it arrives and opens its doors to him.

Sighing he nods his head again, "she barely had time to FaceTime me. I can only have so much phone sex."

Niall laughs raucously as he waves Harry inside with him. "Come on then. Tell Liam you're heading out and I'll deal with," he reads the unchecked name, "Louis Tomlinson."

Harry grins and follows Niall inside the elevator, thumbing the ground floor button mounted on the wall by the metal door. "Thanks, mate."

"No problem," Niall says with a shrug. "Plus he's my roommate so it's only fitting that I help him in and everything so we can bond a bit."

"Right, forgot your roommate is a transfer. For your sake I hope he's clean." Niall's dorm room has always been unusually clean.

Niall frowns as he thinks of the past roommates he's had and how they had been typical boys living in their own. "I'll probably talk to him once he gets here."

Liam is at the desk in the lobby when the elevator doors open. "Hey! How was your first welcome week? Not too stressful, yeah?"

"We got it under control without the fire alarm." Harry jokes, stopping in front of Liam. "How about you? How'd it go?"

Liam shrugs and looks down at his papers. "I checked in about six hundred and twenty kids, so not too bad. I've got a list of ten or fifteen who missed check in though. Luckily, I'm on duty tonight so if they come in late I can show them to their dorm from here."

"Niall came down to see if a Louis checked in yet and I came down to see if you'd be cool with me meeting up with Nadine." Harry says.

"Louis... Third floor... Ah!" Liam pulls the file he has on the boy. "Hasn't checked in yet. Wow, he's transferring from Oxford University; he's majoring in secondary education with an emphasis in science. Apparently the distance from his family was too much."

Niall frowns, "so he's super smart? That must mean he can't be that bad. Why would you waste time at Oxford for an educations major?"

Harry nods absently to whatever Liam is saying, "cool, cool. So about Nadine and I..."

There's a bang at the front door and all of them turn to see a scruffy looking brunette fighting with his luggage and trying to pry the door open. When he finally spots the three inside the glass door, he scoffs and shouts, "one of you twats want to help or are you just going to stand there and stare like assholes?"

Harry immediately narrows his eyes and quirks his eyebrows, looking both perplexed and agitated. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'll tell you once I get inside this damn door. I'm supposed to be moving into Yorkshire Hall today, but apparently no one let the RAs know." The boy huffs and pulls at the doors once more.

Niall bites at his nails. "He might break that door. Just go let him in, Haz."

"If he breaks it, he's replacing it," Harry mutters under his breath, pressing his key card against the scanner anchored on the bricks nearby.

The door gives way and the lad stumbles backwards, cursing as he's thrown off balance. "Cheers. Thanks, mate. Next time make sure someone isn't pulling it from the other side. Fucking wanker." He drags his bag inside and heads over towards Liam. "I assume I check in with you. God this University is a downgrade. Should of just fucking stayed at Oxford."

"You should have," Harry says, only this time he isn't so quiet about it. This new guy is already getting on his nerves.

Liam clears his throat and pulls out his papers. "Um, name and student ID?"

"Louis Tomlinson," he digs around in his pocket before throwing an ID on the counter. "Sorry I'm late to your little pow wow. The dumbasses who run admissions mailed my ID to my Oxford apartment which I don't reside in anymore. Had to go stand in line for-fucking-ever to get that piece of shit plastic."

Honestly Harry doesn't want to be here anymore than he's already been forced to. "Liam, mate, can I go now? Kinda important."

Liam pouts and looks at his roommate and friend. "Sorry, mate. Since you're here, I have to ask you to get his key, show him up, and give him the basic rules. Nadine will understand, right?"

"You're the absolute worst." Harry groans and looks at Louis over his shoulder, annoyed. "Follow me."

"I'll, uh, I'll follow since he's my roommate," Niall says quietly. He watches as Louis struggles to roll two huge suitcases. "Want me to take one, mate?"

"Yeah. That'd be ace!" Louis starts to hand him one before changing his mind. "Actually, take this one. I'll take the contraband."

Harry stops walking towards the stairs and holds his hand up to get Louis to stop walking. "What do you mean contraband? If you got anything illegal in there the school has grounds to expel you."

"It's a joke! Don't worry, Curly." Louis rolls his eyes and follows the two into the elevator. "So dorms? No kitchen then? That'll be weird after living in an apartment."

Harry opts to ignore Louis and instead looks over at Niall leaning against the side of the metal wall. "When is Zayn getting back into town?"

"Tomorrow. We're going out for dinner and drinks. There's some band playing down at The Bird and The Baby." Niall smiles softly, looking to the floor when he feels the blush on his face.

Harry just chuckles at the smitten look on his best friend's face. He looks back at Louis, "you might want to buy earplugs."

Louis shrugs. "I'm not exactly quiet either. Although if I have my way, I'll be shacking up with that muscled God downstairs."

Harry can't help but full on laugh at that, his cheeks dimpling with his signature smile. "Liam's not into that, he's not into anything."

"I'm sorry. I don't quite understand. I'm from Doncaster so you have spell everything out for me." Louis is the first off the elevator when the doors slide open. He gives a quick glance to the floor lobby and grimaces. He missed Oxford already.

"He's ace, he's not sexually attracted to anyone." Harry shrugs, scanning his key against the door to their floor.

Louis makes a face at that information. "That's unfortunate. I bet he's packing in the downstairs department. Plus, with those arms, he could really hold a guy down."

Harry tosses the key at Louis' chest and heads down the corridor towards their room. "There's enough dudes who are into that, find one of them."

Niall unlocks the door and pulls the heavy suitcase into the room with him. "Maybe hit up the gym. Plenty of muscled freaks there."

"Does that include you, Curls?" Louis winks as he follows the blond into the room. "This is... Small. Not exactly what I was expecting. The admissions made it sound like the rooms were huge. And... Where's the bathroom?"

"You wish," Harry rolls his eyes maneuvering around Louis to point back towards the main door. "The showers are communal."

"Communal!" Louis can feel himself pale and he looks to the other two. "You're joking, right? Communal?"

Niall frowns and looks to Harry. "I'm assuming the bathrooms weren't communal at Oxford?"

Harry mimics Niall's frown and stares back at him. "Probably next to the five star kitchen by the servants' quarters. Did they run your laundry to the cleaners too?"

Louis rolls his eyes. "Actually, I was a scholarship student. The dorms were nice, but I did have to do everything for myself and buy everything I needed."

"Then you shouldn't be whining." Harry feels the back pocket of his jeans vibrate, turning his head and slipping his phone out to look at the text. "Okay. You know where your room is; I'm gonna go meet up with Nadine."

Louis waves him off and turns towards Niall. "You're not asthmatic are you? I was going to set up my bong first and take a few hits before unpacking."

Grinning, Niall heads to his side of the room and digs through the top drawer of his dresser, finding the sizeable bag of pot tucked into one of his socks. "I'm dating a drug dealer, I can assure you I'm not asthmatic."

"Niall, my friend, this is the start of a beautiful relationship." Louis tosses an arm around the boy's shoulders before laughing lightly.

Niall chuckles back, "get the bowl in your bong loaded and we'll head to the dining hall for some munchies."

\------------

Harry chases Nadine's mouth with his, his fingers creep under her shirt and flit across her skin. "I missed you, babe." It's been well over three months since he's gotten the chance to see her freckles or hear her laugh in person and he definitely missed it.

Nadine pulls back and smiles brightly. "It's been months. The nursing program is so intense." She leans back in and presses her lips to his again.

"You're gonna be a great one, you take care of me pretty well." He kisses her languidly, his arm going around her waist to pull her into his chest.

She giggles as she falls into his arms. "I should be studying for an anatomy quiz. God, this feels so wrong; I should be studying."

"We could study anatomy." Harry says and sits up, grabbing his t-shirt by the hem and tugging it over his head. "Tell me where my... Shit, uh, rib muscle is."

"Rib muscle?" Nadine just shakes her head and peels her shirt from her body. "Here, let me count your ribs for you." She leans in and kisses down his torso.

"Attention! A fire has been reported in the building. Please proceed calmly to the nearest exit." A loud blaring alarm follows the announcement before the sprinklers come to life, dousing the couple on Harry's bed.

"What the fuck!" Harry jumps up but the entire room is getting soaked, the water pouring down on both of them and all of his things.

He exits his room without a shirt, trying to figure out what the hell happened. The dorm is pretty deserted, most people attending classes.

Louis throws his door open, coughing and spluttering as a cloud of smoke follows him out. "Fucking hell!"

Nadine trudges from Harry's room, covering herself as much as possible since her shirt was wet and not really cooperating. "Harry?"

Harry's eyes narrow when he sees Louis and the telltale smoke wafting out of his room. "It was you wasn't it! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I'm fine, thanks for asking. Not like I just burned the shit out of my hand, but don't worry." He leans back into his room before grabbing a zip-up hoodie and tossing it at the shirtless girl. "Here. Since Curls wasn't smart enough to cover you up."

"Thanks," Nadine says with a smile before frowning and grabbing at his red hand. "First degree burns, so nothing too serious, but I'd definitely get some burn ointment on there. It'll start itching like crazy soon."

"All of my shit is soaked because you're too fucking thick headed to blow smoke out of your window! I'm bringing this to the headmaster's attention, you ass." Harry crosses his arms trying to look intimidating, but he probably looks more like a drowned kitten.

Louis rolls his eyes. "First off, it was a candle- it popped and I dropped it. I have to cover the weed smell somehow. Second, go ahead and report me. They'll search the room, find my weed and alcohol, find Niall's weed, and we'll both be expelled."

Harry opens his mouth to say something, but the words die in his throat. There's no way he could do that to Niall. "Literally fuck off."

"Or you could hold me down and fuck me," Louis sing-songs as he heads towards the stairs.

Once he's gone, Nadine laces her fingers through Harry's own. "You have to report him. Drugs? Alcohol? Open flame? He's a danger to this entire dorm building."

Harry sighs and rubs the hand not holding Nadine's down his face. "I can't do that, Niall's my best friend."

"Harry," she sighs, but smiles softly before stretching up on her tiptoes to kiss him. "You're a good friend. If this happens again though and he's to blame, I'll have to report it. It's my job as an RA."

"Fine, but at least tell me beforehand so I can give Niall some kinda notice." Harry kisses her back and chuckles, twirling a strand of her hair around his finger. "You're positively wet."

"Always am for you." She laughs before pulling him towards the stairs. "Come on. We can finish our snog outside in front of your residents so they can get jealous."

"I like the way you think." His cheeks dimple, pulling her towards the stairwell.

Once outside, Nadine pulls them across the street and watches as the fire trucks pull up. Harry's lips are attached to her neck and she can feel him trying to leave his mark, but she's got other things on her mind. "Who was that guy? He seemed... Unaware of how Man U works."

Harry rolls his eyes at the thought of Louis. "He's some entitled jackass, and he's not even rich."

"Have you taken the time to get to know him? In training we were told that if we had a difficult resident to befriend them and get pretty close to them." Nadine arches her neck a bit more so he can reach more of it with his lips. "I mean, what if it's all a front? Maybe he just needs someone to talk to."

"Yeah right, someone like that is just doing what they do to be a dick. There's nothing deeper going on." He finishes sucking in a love bite and pulls back, kissing her cheek and swatting her bum. "Let's go toss my clothes in the dryer."

"Toss everything into the dryer. I'll grab Liam's stuff so we can do his as well. He shouldn't come back from class to a soaked room." Nadine watches as the building is cleared and the RD pulls Louis aside to talk to him. "I really do hope he gets that hand looked at. It's not severe or anything, but it will itch, cramp, and be in pain for awhile if he doesn't take care of it."

Harry beams her, softly kissing her forehead. "I love your compassion."

She smiles brightly and pulls him in for a passionate kiss. People are pushing past them as they're cleared to return inside, but Nadine doesn't care. "I love you."

Harry tenses, every muscle in his body going rigid. They've never actually said the L word to each other. He supposes that they have been dating for a little over a year, it was going to happen eventually. He just didn't think it would happen now. "Same here."

Nadine chuckles nervously. "You know, when someone says that they love you, you usually say it back to them."

Harry bites into his lip, "you're right people usually say it back. But there are some instances where someone might not be ready to say it back quite yet."

"Well, someone has had a year to get ready to say it and if they can't say it now, will they ever be ready to say it?" She pulls back from his arms and frowns at him. "Maybe I should go."

Harry groans under his breath. It's not that he doesn't really like Nadine, but he can't say he loves her. She's really the first relationship he's had and he only has the movies to compare it to. "Just stop being mad please? We can go to my dorm and cuddle."

Nadine looks unimpressed and crosses her arms over her chest. "I have to go study for anatomy and you need to go dry your clothes out. Tell Louis I'll wash his hoodie and return it to him later this week."

"Fine, but please don't be mad." Harry lingers for a moment longer, eventually turning around and walking off once Nadine has pretty much stomped away. He's pretty sure this is their first fight.

Louis comes out of the RD's office muttering about stupid school rules and such. His hand is wrapped in gauze and he spots Harry right away. "Don't fret, Curls. I got written up for having an open flame in my room."

Harry rolls his eyes, "you don't know what you're talking about. I'm fine."

"Never said you weren't," Louis says with a suspicious look. "Now that you mention though... Are you okay?"

"Stop talking to me." Harry really doesn't want to talk to anyone. Nadine's never been angry with him.

Louis just rolls his eyes. "Fine. I don't have time for this. I need to go dry my laundry." He walks away from the RA, wondering why he was such a dick.

\------------

"I need food. The vending machines are right down the hall." Louis is trying his hardest to whisper, but Niall's giggling is infectious. He's not sure how many joints they lit up tonight, but he can feel his stomach doing somersaults at the empty feeling. "I'll be right back."

He's out the door and in the hall, shouting back at Niall to keep quiet, when he trips over something. "I'm sorry, Treebeard."

Harry startles, pulling his legs into chest. "What the hell did you just call me?"

Louis blinks a few times before leaning in closer. "Oh, Curls! I thought you were Treebeard!" He laughs a bit more before leaning down and placing a hot kiss to the boy's cheek.

Harry cringes, immediately noticing the hazy, red look in Louis' eyes. Of course. Harry just turns his head away and hopes he'll disappear.

"Aw, what's wrong, Curls? Did Nadine not put out for you after the fire alarm?" Louis leans against the wall before sliding down to sit next to the mess of limbs and hair. His stomach growls and he growls back.

"If you think you're helping you're not, go do whatever it is you were gonna do." Harry picks at the carpet, staring miserably at the ground.

Louis frowns. Looking over the boy, he can tell that whatever is wrong is no joking matter. "Hey, you're my RA; you're supposed to help me. Let me try and help you for once. What's wrong?"

Eventually Harry sighs and figures Louis probably won't leave him alone until he says something. "Nadine's angry with me. She said I love you and I couldn't say it back."

"Well, do you love her?" Louis doesn't see the big problem with the situation. It seemed pretty simple to him.

"If I could tell you that I wouldn't have a problem. Nadine's sweet, loving, gorgeous and funny, like everything a guy could want in a girl." Harry's trying to formulate his thoughts into coherent sentences, cautiously picking his words to avoid confusion. "I see Niall and his boyfriend and it's not the same. I don't know what Nadine is thinking just by looking at her, she isn't my first thought in the morning or my last one at night, I don't get butterflies in my stomach when we talk. I love her but I don't really know if I'm in love with her."

It's silent for a moment as Louis tries to think through a complete thought before opening his mouth. "When I was in high school, I had a boyfriend named Stan. I told him I loved him and he said it back- every time. He broke up with me the night of our four year anniversary. When I asked him why, he said he loved me but wasn't in love with me. Sometimes it's better to be friends with someone, even if you love them, than to hurt them by not being honest with them."

He coughs, his voice going hoarse and rough as he continues. "I think you and Nadine need to just sit down and have a thorough chat about everything."

"I don't want to break up with her though, I could fall in love." Harry just wishes it would happen faster.

"I'm not saying break up, but you do need to talk to her. Explain your feelings, she'll understand. I haven't met her for long, but she seems like a girl who would appreciate honesty over someone just going through the motions."

Harry looks up at Louis and smiles softly, one side of his mouth dimpling. "Thanks for, uh, talking to me."

Louis smiles brightly. "Of course! I hate seeing people sad. Especially ones as cute as you." He giggles and looks down as his rumbling stomach. "Is there anywhere open this late? I'm starving!"

"There's a mini mart down the road." Harry chuckles and smiles to himself, Louis made him feel a lot better about the situation.

"Perfect! I'll grab Niall and we'll drive there. What could go wrong?" He attempts to stand and stumbles forward, smacking his face against the wall.

Rolling his eyes Harry stands up with Louis. "I'll drive."

"I'm completely fine to drive!" Louis pouts and looks back towards his room. Maybe some more time with just Harry would be nice. "Fine, I know what Niall wants and he might have fallen asleep. Let's just go."

Harry tiptoes back into his room and grabs his car keys off his nightstand and a jacket hanging off the hook on his door, heading back out into the hall. "Alright follow me." He takes the elevator with Louis down to the ground floor and leads him out to the student parking lot.

Louis hums loudly as they make their way towards Harry's car. He pats at his pockets, frowning. "I forgot my cigarettes. Do you have any?"

"I don't smoke. And there's no smoking in my car," Harry says unlocking the doors on his Focus.

"Booooo! You're boring, Curls. Live a little! Next time Niall and I light up, you need to be there. We'll break out the weed and the alcohol and we'll have a great time." Louis opens the doors to car and slips inside. The exhaustion of a crash is starting to weigh down on him and he wonders if he can just sleep in Harry's car overnight.

Harry rolls his eyes. "I meant cigarettes. Who do you think introduced Niall to smoking pot?"

Louis yawns and looks at the RA. "You?! No way. I thought he must have picked it up from his drug dealing boyfriend."

"I knew Zayn before I knew Niall, I'm the one that even got him to smoke if you want to ask him. It's not like I've never smoked pot, but studying took over smoking and I only do it occasionally. I'm not an ass about you smoking weed, but be smart about it. Don't get caught." Harry pulls out of the parking lot and heads down the street towards the service station.

"Yes, mum. Who knew living in dorms would be so dull? I was told it was more fun than apartments, but I see I was lied to." Louis tools his eyes and leans his head against the cool glass of window.

"Why because I'm preventing you from getting kicked out or arrested? Nadine wanted to go to the RD when you set off the smoke alarm."

"Nadine seems so nice. Pity she's a rat," Louis yawns loudly and looks over at Harry. "You know, I thought you were a massive twat when I first met you."

"The feeling is mutual," Harry says but there's no malice in his voice.

Louis shrugs. He remembers that he wasn't the nicest person when he first got here. "Now, you're just a regular twat."

Harry rolls his eyes, typical.

\------------

Louis rolls his eyes as the teacher prattles on about how to care for a distressed student in a classroom. Being an education major really wasn't as much as he thought it would be. He's learning more to cater to a child rather than teach them. It's discouraging.

"Styles, you'll be partnered with Tomlinson for the semester projects." The teacher says as he explains the breakdown of assignments for the semester ahead.

Honestly Louis is the last partner Harry wants, it probably means he'll get pinned with the brunt of the work for every major assignment. Great. He glances at Louis two rows behind him and offers what he hopes is an encouraging thumbs up.

Louis waggles his fingers in a sarcastic friendly gesture and looks at his phone to check the time. It's only noon and this class is halfway over. He internally groans at the prospect of sitting through another forty-five minutes of this dull teacher.

The door to the classroom opens though and Nadine's head pokes through the break in the brick. "Excuse me, professor?"

The professor looks up from his laptop and smiles when he recognizes one of his student volunteers. "Miss Leopold, what can I do for you?" 

Harry perks up, taking his chin off his palm where it had been previously nestled to look over at his girlfriend in her nurse scrubs and a Victoria's Secret hoodie.

Nadine blushes at being recognised and smiles bashfully. "I was wondering if I could borrow Harry Styles for a moment. I brought him some food and I need to ask him some questions about RA stuff."

The professor looks between Nadine and Harry, eventually nodding his head. "Alright, but make make it quick." 

Grinning, Harry pushes his chair out and walks to his girlfriend, greeting her with a kiss.

Grabbing a fist full of his shirt, Nadine drags him into the hallway to kiss him properly. "Hey, you. How's classes going?"

Surprised, Harry kisses back with twice as much enthusiasm. "Are you not upset at me?"

"I thought it over and it was petty of me to get upset. Everyone says it at their own pace. I understand that we've been dating for just over a year, but we've been separated for three months. We need to work up to that connection again." She smiles and brings her arms up around his neck. "I won't stop saying I love you, but I'm not looking for you to say it back until you're ready."

"You're pretty perfect." Harry smiles and kisses both corners of her lips and plants one on her mouth.

Nadine giggles and pulls back to motion to a paper bag by their feet. "I brought food as a peace offering. It's from the cafe just off campus, but it's the turkey panini and mac and cheese you like. I even splurged and got you a bottle of Coke and a heart shaped cookie."

"You're a sweetie. I should probably go back in though before Wales has a reason to yell. I'll see you after my class." He kisses her again and grabs the bag, heading back into the classroom.

Louis watches as Harry walks in, strutting. He zeroes in on the boy's lips and scowls when he sees that they are red kiss swollen. His stomach does a drop as he watches the boy pull his food from the paper bag.

The heart shaped cookie is bright pink and over the top. Louis feels sick looking at it. He doesn't know why he feels this rush of anger and hatred towards Nadine flood his system. She's been nothing but nice to him every time they've talked.

He balls up a piece of paper and throws it at his RA when the professor's back is turned.

Harry flinches with the cookie in his mouth, breaking off a chunk with his teeth. He turns around to look questionably at Louis, one eyebrow raised.

Louis just shrugs and flips the curly haired boy off. It seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

Rolling his eyes Harry goes back to the food in front of him, at least something good came of today.

\------------

Niall throws his keys on the nightstand by his desk and haphazardly hangs his coat from the hook rooted behind the door. If facial expressions were as expressive as emojis Niall's eyes would be shaped like hearts. 

He just got back from a lunch date with Zayn who's now on his way to Stratford for the weekend to play at an up and coming dive bar with his band. Niall's gotten pretty used to it, but Zayn's immediate text after parting, "miss you already" with a few kissy face emojis and a lot of swirling hearts, melts Niall a little on the inside.

Louis is laying on his bed, drinking a beer and working on homework when Niall gets back. He watches the besotted, love sick teenager for a few minutes before clearing his throat. "I take it the date went really well then."

Niall didn't even realize Louis was home. "Huh? It went about the same as every other date."

"You seem... Head over heels for this Zayn kid." Louis hates looking at couples in love, mostly because he's never managed to be in love, but it looks amazing on Niall. He quickly finishes his beer and shoves his textbook to the side. "Alright, tell me about Zayn."

Niall grins even harder, his eyes scrunching up at the corners. If there's one thing he loves more than talking to Zayn, it’s talking to other people about Zayn. Sitting back on his bed he stares up at the few glow in dark constellations stuck to his ceiling. "Zayn's eight months older than I am; he works part time at a bookstore; we've been together since we were fourteen, but we weren't official until we were sixteen; he's the bassist for an indie band that always changes their names. I think it's Double Entrance Cinema Club or something equally as weird."

"And he deals on the side. But, like, what is it about him that you like? How did you know you liked him? You know, all that jazz." Louis feels like all Niall does at points is talk about this guy so he has to be someone special.

"Okay, well, Zayn is extremely sweet. In year ten, I had a visit to the hospital for stomach indigestion and Zayn made a big fuss about it. He left in the middle of his aunt's wedding reception and showed up with my favorite movie on DVD and a get well balloon. He usually puts me before most people, attentive to what I need or how I feel kind of thing. We don't have to go on real dates all the time either! I'm shit at romance and I don't know how I'd feel coming up with new restaurants to try every time we want to do something. Sometimes we just wear our sweats, order takeaway, and watch tv. He's family oriented, the way he is with his sisters melts me inside a little. They love him and he loves them, it's endearing." 

There are so many facets to Zayn's character and personality, Niall doesn't really know how to explain them all. "Whenever I'm sad he makes it a priority to talk to me, his voice is the most familiar thing out here and he knows when I hear it I don't miss home so much. Maybe because home is a concept, and home might not be a building but between someone's arms. Zayn does that. Whenever he's got his arms around me I feel protected, warm, safe. Zayn's got my back, and if anything happens I know he's got me."

Louis is quiet. That was the most profound thing he's heard at this god forsaken school and it came from a bottle blond junior who likes to smoke up every now and then. "I... I don't really know what to say to that. I've been trying to run from home so I guess I don't really understand that concept, but you... Fuck, you're really smart, aren't you?"

Niall laughs and shrugs. "Maybe not so much as intelligent as I would say philosophical. I get it from my boyfriend.

"As for how I knew I liked him, I didn't at first. He had a reputation at school I wouldn't overlook, I thought he was a proper troublemaker and I didn't want to be involved with him in any way. After school one day I made a detour through the park because I forgot to wash dishes the night before and I was trying to prolong my funeral. I saw Zayn with a stray kitten that got his head stuck in one of those plastic coke wrappers that hold a six pack together. Zayn cut the thing around his neck and fed him a can of tuna he got from his bag. So I sat next to him in class after that and I got to get to know the real Zayn. People are like icebergs, you only see the ten percent that's visible, but below that there's ninety percent of a person you never considered."

"So everyone is like an iceberg?" Louis mumbles, thinking more to himself than really talking to Niall. "Can you tell me about Harry?"

Surprised, Niall nods. "Well what do you want to know? I've known him since we were eleven."

Louis shrugs. He doesn't rightfully know why he asked, but now that Niall's willing he wants to know everything. "He seems so... Uptight. The other night though, he said he introduced you to weed. He just seems complicated and complex."

"The last word I'd use to describe Harry is complex. He used to be the worst when it came to following rules or listening to authority. If he wasn't asleep he was stoned, he would break into his mum's liquor cabinet at least three times a week, and the guys down at the station knew him by name. Harry's mum had a mug specifically for an officer that'd pick him up more often than not. He changed last year."

"What happened last year? How did he even get an RA position if he was that bad?" Louis doesn't understand how someone as stuck up as Harry could ever be a trouble maker.

Niall hesitates, unsure if it's really his place to tell other people Harry's situation. "Look, if I tell you you can't tell him I did. I'm serious, if you bring it up to him I will legitimately kick your ass."

Louis doesn't think Niall could actually physically harm him, so he just rolls his eyes and promises to stay quiet about whatever he's going to learn.

Niall licks his lips, continuing to stare up at the planets and stars attached to the ceiling. "Harry had an older sister, she only had like two years on him. They were practically inseparable, everything we ever learned from Harry, Harry had learned from Gemma. When their parents divorced, Harry's jackass dad said something like 'if we hadn't made that second mistake, divorce wouldn't be a question' and that kind of fucked with Harry if you can imagine. Gemma kinda took it upon herself to let Harry know he was the exact opposite of a mistake and that was it. Gemma and Harry were Gemma-and-Harry. You didn't get one without the other. Everyone would call them Styles-mese twins. As much as a troublemaker Harry was he's always had great attendance and grades; Gemma would get on him about it and Harry was always trying to impress his sister. She was his role model, the kind of person he wanted to be like. I don't think I've ever seen more love and fondness in Harry's face than when I saw the way he'd look at his sister. She was kinda the reason Harry even felt worth something, his dad made it a point to not talk to him them but he especially made it clear to Harry. His own mum even drifted away from him after the divorce so Gemma was like his world at the time you know?" 

This is the harder part, the part he doesn't like to talk about. "It was Harry's birthday and his dad called shitfaced, went on about Harry being the sole reason their family isn't a family and Harry basically snapped. Let his dad know what an ass he is and Gemma told Harry not to speak to their dad like that and Harry got real hurt, you know? Like their dad didn't talk to Gemma the way he talked to Harry, he would actually call on her birthdays sober. So he booked it with his mum's keys and ended up at a party smashed. Called his sister at two in the morning crying about wanting to come home and not knowing where he set the keys down and how everything that's ever happened to them was his fault. Gemma said she'd come pick him up and she never did."

Louis frowns. "She just abandoned him? Why the hell would she do that?"

"It was late at night and the road she was on didn't have proper street lights; the ground was slick after it rained. She was at an intersection when a truck just... Just fucking hit her going like eighty in a sixty. The doctors say it was instant, that she didn't feel anything but Harry told me later he did; that he was at that party and the moment it happened he felt it. He said it felt like his chest had been crushed and he started to cry but he didn't know why at the time. Harry lost his best friend on his birthday and that was it, Harry hasn't been remotely the same since."

Louis is quiet. "So that's why... Fuck, that's awful. He just gave up everything after that?"

"Kinda? He gave up the partying, he said if he hadn't been drunk he could have driven himself home. He didn't let his grades slip, said Gemma would probably hate him if they did. Originally the RA job was hers, but they gave it to Harry instead. If he seems like an ass he's just trying to live up to how he thinks his sister would have wanted him to be."

"Is... Is Nadine anything like Gemma? He seems to like idolise her and from how you described her, Nadine seems a bit like her." Louis' stomach flips at just the mere mention of the girl's name on his lips.

Niall nods, "oh definitely. Harry doesn't see it but Zayn, Liam, and I do. Compassionate, kind, funny, the same million watt smile. They're almost the same person."

Louis stops and thinks for a moment. "He told me that he loved Nadine, but he wasn't in love with her. Maybe deep down he does know."

"Between you and me I don't think Harry should stay with Nadine. She's a great person, but I don't Harry's going to properly heal if he's reminded of his sister all the time."

"What do you think he needs then?" Louis is hopeful that Niall will say something that indicates himself, but he doesn't know why. The kid is a twat and he doesn't even like him.

Niall shrugs, swinging his legs off of his bed to sit up. "I couldn't tell you that. I just hope he'll meet someone new soon."

Louis is quiet after that. He hopes that his mind will quiet down soon so he can actually get his thoughts in order. "Yeah... Someone new..."

\------------

Louis is sitting in the lobby in Yorkshire Hall trying to concentrate on his science work. It's hard considering his mind keeps flitting back to Harry. He groans as he flops back into his chair. He watches as people filter in and out of the dorm building, calling hello to a few he knows. It isn't until he sees Nadine enter that he really becomes interested. "Hey! Nadine!"

Nadine looks away from her phone screen where she had been picking a song to exercise to. She offers a smile and a wave when she realizes who's trying to get her attention.

"Come here," Louis shouts over at her. He figures that is he's going to feel nauseous around her all the time he should at least have a reason to. He's going to find one flaw in her and then let it simmer and turn into hatred. It's a very grown up thing for him to do.

Nadine walks up to him, tilting her head to the side, a strand of hair falling across her forehead. "Yeah?"

Louis tries his best to seem friendly as he pats at the chair across from him. "Sit down. I figured since Harry and I are becoming friends that I should get to know you too."

Nadine looks towards the exit and figures the gym can wait, she's never one to not talk to someone else. So she sits beside him and pulls the headphones out of her ears. "Okay."

"So what's your major? I know Harry is an education major. Did you guys meet in a class or something?" Louis closes his textbook and tries to cover up the advanced physics title. He doesn't want Nadine to know just how smart he is.

"His older... His friend was an RA previously and that's how we met, we didn't start dating until a few months after. I'm a nursing major actually with an emphasis in pre-med." Nadine smiles and hopes Louis didn't catch her almost slip up.

Louis wants to roll his eyes. He knows about Harry's older sister, but he has to remember that Niall said it wasn't something that was really talked about. "So a friend introduced you? Fascinating. I like watching you two together. He treats like a princess. How long have you two going out then?"

Nadine blushes, "he does doesn't he? It's been a year and a month since we made it official."

"That's beautiful. You're practically family at this point. Have you met his mum? Dad? Any siblings he might have?" Louis is trying his hardest not to gag at the thought of the two of them happily married and shacked up somewhere together.

Nadine doesn't really know how to answer that without being personal. "Harry isn't really close with his family."

"What? I can't imagine that. I love me family. I can't get them to stop bugging me." Louis aims for jovial and funny, but there's more truth in that statement than Nadine realises. "What about you though? Are you family-oriented?"

Nadine smiles and nods. "I adore my whole family. I want a big one eventually with a lot of kids."

"Is that why you love being an RA? Preparing for the future are you?" Louis can't help the coil of jealousy that flares through him at that.

Nadine laughs and shakes her head. "I'm doing it more for something to put on a resume."

Louis smiles softly. "Well, tell me about yourself. I know enough about your relationship with Harry, but what about you? Personality, hobbies, favourite movie, anything!"

"I don't usually have free time to do a lot. Between AP classes, volunteer work, and my relationship with Harry I barely have time to sleep. When I can do things, I do a little modelling and I sing."

"Volunteer work? Modelling and singing? Wow, you do stay busy. And I bet you're a top student as well." Not finding a single flaw had not been part of the plan. Louis is starting to wonder if Nadine is even human.

"How did you know?" She asks, mildly surprised.

Louis just stares at her before shaking his head. "Jesus. You're literally perfect."

Nadine laughs and covers her mouth with her hand. "I wouldn't say that. No one is perfect."

"If I took you home to my mother, she would tell me to wife you up because girls don't get much better than you." He hopes the bitterness isn't seeping through in his voice.

Nadine looks at the ground fondly, "I hope Harry feels the same way. About bringing me home. Not that marriage isn't on my list."

Louis sits back and looks over the girl, trying to find a flaw- anything. "He'd be an idiot if he didn't feel that way. Did I stop you from making a workout?"

"It's alright, I still have time to go before I have to be at the soup kitchen downtown." She does stand though, she'll only have half an hour now.

"The soup kitchen? You're way too busy. When was your last date with Harry?" He doesn't mean to sound arrogant.

"Last Friday, Harry takes me out every Friday somewhere new. I couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend." If the love in her voice is obvious she doesn't mind.

"Of course he does," Louis mumbles under his breath. "Well, have a good workout. I'm sure I'll see you around the hall soon."

"I'll see you around, Louis." She waves and settles her headphones back in her ears, exiting the dorm building.

Louis watches her go. He's even more frustrated than before their chat. Sighing, he grabs his textbook and heads towards the elevator. Maybe he can piss Harry off tonight and feel better about everything.

\------------

_"What about Nadine?" Louis' breath gets knocked out of him as Harry pushes him against the wall of his dorm room._

_"What about her?" Harry's lips carve a trail down Louis' neck, teeth scraping against his clavicle while his fingers flirt under Louis' shirt._

_"Thought you loved her and all that," Louis gasps as Harry's fingers find their way to the waistband of his joggers. "We shouldn't be doing this."_

_"That's not what your body is saying." Harry bites Louis' throat, sucking a love bite into his skin. Grabbing Louis by the hips, he gets him to wrap his legs around Harry's waist. He tugs his tank top over his head and throws it somewhere behind him. "I love her, but I told you I'm not in love with her."_

_Moaning loudly as Harry's muscled torso is revealed, Louis ducks his head to bite and suck at the curly haired boy's pectorals. "Do you love me then? Are you in love with me?"_

_"Ask me that again after I hold you down and fuck you senseless." Harry growls as Louis lavishes his tongue across his tattooed chest._

_"Fuck. Yes," Louis presses his hips forward trying to get a little bit of friction where he needs it most. "Hold me down, Harry. Hold me so tightly I bruise."_

_Harry carries Louis to his bed and drops him down on it, crawling on the mattress immediately after and hovering over him. "I want you out of your clothes now."_

_Louis just nods as words escape him in that moment. He pulls the vest he had been wearing from his body and manages to somehow get his joggers off. He hesitates a bit when all that's left is his pants though. "Even these?"_

_"I want to see all of you, beautiful." Harry kisses down Louis chest and traces the outline of Louis' underwear with the tip of his tongue._

_Pushing the material slowly off his body, Louis suddenly becomes self conscious under Harry's eyes. He knows that he's not bad looking, but compared to the younger's body he feels inadequate. "Harry..."_

_Harry smiles softly, reassuringly. His fingers petting Louis' thigh, "absolutely gorgeous."_

_"Don't tease, Curls. It's not polite." Louis can feel a blush cover his face and spread down towards his chest._

_Harry continues to kiss his way down Louis' body until he gets to his pelvis. Moving down he spreads Louis' legs and kisses his inner thighs as well. "Want to show you how beautiful you are, love."_

_His breath catches in his throat and he clenches his hands into fists to stop himself from getting his fingers tangled in the mess of curls. "Harry," Louis whines, "I won't last long."_

_"That's alright. We'll have other opportunities." Harry promises, giving a soft kitten lick to Louis' swollen pink head._

_"Fuck!" The warm wetness of just a lick from Harry's tongue sending Louis' mind into a tizzy and he can only imagine what will happen if the boy gets his lips around Louis' cock._

_Harry doesn't waste time practically swallowing Louis down, his tongue massaging the underside of his dick while he sucked._

_A litany of curses fall from his lips as the suction around him. "Jesus, oh god. Where did you learn do this?"_

_"Does it matter?" Harry grins and goes back to trying to suck Louis' soul of of his cock._

_Louis lets one hand get tangled in his hair and pulls on the curls. "Fucking hell, I'm close." His thighs are starting shake as his organs builds._

_Harry grabs the back of Louis' thigh and pulls back enough to keep Louis from gagging him with his cum._

_True to his word, Louis doesn't last long. He comes quickly down Harry's throat before gasping and sitting up on his bed._

He's drenched in sweat and his clothes are still on him. He looks around, confused by his state. His clock reads 3:27 AM and he groans as he feels a wet spot blossoming on his pants. He can't believe he just had a sex dream about Harry Styles. Even worse, he came in his pants because of it.

\------------

"This is Zayn," Niall says after both of them walk into his dorm to find Louis on his bed, bored. It's the first week Zayn's had off in months and Niall plans on spending as much time with his boyfriend as he can.

Louis sits up a bit and nods in acknowledgement. "Did you want me to go somewhere and give you guys the room? I can maybe bug Harry or try and catch Liam's attention. I haven't given up on him yet."

Niall smiles and shakes his head, "we actually have a lot of time for that. Zayn wants to smoke." 

Zayn grins lazily, if their red eyes and hazy expressions are anything to go by, they've already started.

"Smoking up without me? Niall, that's rude!" Louis is all smiles though as he reaches into the drawer of the desk next to his bed. He pulls out a baggie full of weed and some rolling papers and holds them triumphantly. "Just got some from my supplier. Finest in all Yorkshire, mate."

Zayn waits until Louis is cool with it to take the bag, taking a nug out to look at it more closely. "It's so crystalized, definitely getting your money's worth there."

"My mate back home is a dealer. He's the only guy I trust when it comes to my weed. He offered to lace it, but I just want that pure high feeling. Ya know?" Louis laughs as he takes some from the bag and starts to neatly roll it in the paper.

Zayn hands Louis back his bag and sits cross legged on Niall's bed, and if he looks like a toddler when he makes grabby hands at Niall passing by to get to the mini fridge, oh well.

Louis just smiles and shakes his head. He needs this. After that dream the night before, he's been grouchy and cranky all day. "Can you grab my Irn Bru and a couple bags of Frazzles? I don't plan on moving for a while."

He gets the joint rolled and smiles as he grabs his lighter. Placing the roach end between his lips, he lights the drug and deeply inhales. Almost immediately, his lungs are filled with a sickly sweet feeling and he smiles, blowing the thick smoke from between his lips. "Here," he hands it to Zayn, "guests get second hit."

Niall tosses Louis his snacks and sits on the mattress between Zayn's legs which he generously parted for him. Zayn puffs on the end and holds the smoke in his lungs a few seconds, opening his mouth in an 'o' and blowing out rings. "This definitely tastes grade A."

"When I was at Oxford, it took a bit until I could feel that high. This shit I was getting there was like the lowest quality. This stuff? I usually only need a few good hits to start feeling it." Louis smiles as he lays down, facing his roommate and the new addition. "Niall said you're a dealer. You got the grade A shit or do I have to keep going home to Doncaster for it?"

Zayn gives Niall a look, not that he's annoyed, and nods. "I get it from a guy who grows it himself, it's quality. The kinda stuff they sell in medicinal shops." 

Niall rests his head back against Zayn's chest, puffing on the joint Zayn hands him.

Louis nods and takes the joint back when Niall hands it over. "I'll hit you up next time then. I'm a bit spoiled, as you can tell, so I'm sorry in advance if I'm not as impressed by medicinal grade."

He takes a huge hit, letting it swirl in his lungs for as long as he can before finally blowing it up into the air. His hand that holds the joint, dangles over the bed as Louis shuts his eyes and starts to lose himself to his thoughts.

"So who were you fucking in your dream last night? I had to dig for my earplugs at like 2 in the morning." Niall says it nonchalantly.

Louis hums and shrugs. "I wasn't really the one doing the fucking. I'm not exactly the one you want on top. Much prefer to get held down and told how pretty I am."

"Alright, so who was fucking you then? I bet it was Liam." Niall snorts and buries his face in Zayn's thigh, giggling softly.

"Try again, blondie." Louis doesn't want to hide what he dreamt about, but he doesn't want to exactly scream it from the rooftops either. "The dick was nice though, from what I could tell at least. He never got his pants off; he was too busy sucking me off."

"Shit. You dreamt about Harry dicking you, didn't you?" Niall laughs at that. Is it weird that he immediately thought Harry when Louis mentioned a blowjob?

Louis shrugs as a lazy smile spreads across his face. He takes another hit before holding the joint out for one of them to take. "Just a dream though. He'll never hold me down and let me call him daddy. He's got Nadine for that."

Zayn does and speaks around the joint in his mouth. "Not like Harry's never had a dick in his mouth." He looks down at Niall briefly and he can see the blush spread through his cheeks. It was before Niall and Zayn were actually dating.

"Is that so? Good to know," Louis mumbles before laughing at the unintentional rhyme. "He's still got Nadine though and he doesn't strike me as the type to suck dick behind his girlfriend's back."

"He's not a cheat." Niall confirms, kissing the back of Zayn's knee distractedly.

Louis drags his finger across his comforter, tracing patterns into the soft material. "Then there's no reason to talk about it. He's got Nadine, and I've got my weed."

He quiet for a moment. "I just hate that she's so perfect. There's literally no reason for me to hate her. She's great at time management, has excellent grades, and still manages to spread her legs for him. At least, I assume they're having sex. They been dating long enough."

Niall rolls his eyes, "God I'm so glad I'm not his roommate. The noises heterosexual couples make are absolutely revolting." 

Zayn laughs and kisses the back of Niall's hand. "You sound close enough to a girl when you come."

"That's not fair. I don't want to know what Niall sounds like." Louis pretends to gag, but there's no heat behind his words. "He is getting some then?"

"On the daily from what I understand." Niall shrugs, honestly if he could have sex everyday he'd have it twice a day.

That's not exactly what Louis wanted to hear. "When the hell does Nadine even have time to spread her legs for him? She's a nursing major that volunteers constantly."

"Maybe she's an android. Before either of you roll your eyes hear me out. You've seen Terminator 3 right?" Niall looks dead serious as he says it.

"What about it?" Louis knows that it's pretty impossible, but he's high enough at this point he's willing to hear any theory that puts Nadine in a sub-human light.

"Like she's hot and a badass and, don't quote me on this, but I came home from the club smashed one night and I swear she had lasers coming out of her eyes." That or she was shining her phone light, it could have been either one.

Louis actually has to laugh at that last one. "As much as I don't want her to be human, I think she is." He takes what's left of the joint from the pair and proceeds to finish it off. "Want her out of the way though. If she's gone, then I can suck Harry off or something and he'll see how great I am."

"He'd love that, apparently Nadine doesn't go down. Her only 'flaw' if you will." It's not like she's obligated to blow Harry, but it'd definitely be a bonus if she did.

"Does he go down on her? Can you imagine if she was an android? Fuck, Harry would be sticking his dick in metal everyday!" Louis finds that absolutely hilarious for some reason. "Should I roll another one?"

Zayn and Niall both chorus yes at the same time. Niall's nose scrunches. "As much as I don't like talking about about eating pussy, Harry puts up with me talking about taking it up the ass. But to answer your question he does, a lot."

Louis starts to roll another joint and hums at the thought of Harry's tongue in other places. "Wonder if he would ever be down for rimming then. If he can deal with eating pussy, I'm sure he'd be okay with eating ass."

"Niall could tell you all about that one too," Zayn says and Niall glares but he sticks his bottom lip out in a pout to let him know he's not like offended. 

"Okay we don't need to talk about everything Harry and I have done. When you're the only gay kid in town and your best friend is the only bisexual around it limits your options for experimenting."

"Oh my god. You've messed around with both of them? I mean like, more than just a quick blow job? This is great! How far have you actually gone with Harry?" Louis clumsily finishes sealing the joint up both tossing it and his lighter towards the couple. He took the last hit from the first one so it was only courteous.

Zayn plucks the joint off the bed and slides it between Niall's lips, lighting it for him. 

Niall smiles thankfully and blows out a cloud of smoke. "Everything? I mean we didn't like use whips and chains or anything like that but, yeah, everything."

"Is he good in the sack? He just has all these muscles and he just looks like he could hold me down no matter how much I fought him off." Louis can feel himself hardening at the thought, but he can't really find it in himself to care enough to hide it.

"I mean he didn't really have muscles then. If you really want to know I rode him the both times we actually had sex. But he knows how to use that tongue of his, it's probably gotten better with age." Niall winks.

"Okay, don't know if I like hearing about you riding someone else's dick." Zayn says.

Laughing heartily at that, Louis apologises to the darker lad. "Well what about you then? Niall always seems so blissed out after your dates; I bet you fuck him good in the back of your car."

Zayn smirks, patting Niall's bum. "I definitely take care of him."

Louis laughs again before the room settles into some sort of silence. It's comfortable and quite peaceful, but it gives Louis too much room to think. "Do you think they'll ever break up?"

Honestly Niall doesn't know, Harry confides everything in him but his feels on Nadine have always been a little mixed. "Maybe?"

"Guess I'm stuck with my dreams and my hand till they do. Unless one of you boys want to help out?" His tone is teasing as he takes the joint back again for a hit.

Zayn fakes glares at Louis and properly pulls Niall back into his chest, wrapping his arms around him. "I don't need all of my friends knowing what he's like in bed."

Louis just smiles at the two as he stubs out the joint. He grabs for a packet of Frazzles and sighs heavily. "So do none of Harry's friends like her?"

"They all like her. I mean Zayn and I are only skeptical because it's kinda creepy how alike her and Gemma are."

"Do you know how hard it was to talk to her and not bring up Gemma?" Louis turns to look at the pair as he shoves a handful of his snack into his mouth.

"I'm glad you didn't. I probably wouldn't kick your ass, but I probably wouldn't talk to you either." Niall knows how sensitive Gemma is for Harry and he doesn't need Harry to be upset with him.

Louis sighs and checks his phone. "Fuck, I have class in half an hour and I have that class with Harry. Do you think he'll notice if I show up high?"

"Put some eye drops in your eyes and you'll be alright." Zayn says starting to rub Niall's stomach under his shirt, he always gets a little hard when he's high.

"Thanks, mate." He tries to squash down the wave of jealousness that crashes over him as he sees Zayn and Niall together. He needs to get some and soon before he falls to far for the wrong person.

\------------

Louis rubs a hand through his hair as he grabs his stuff for the showers. It's around three in the morning so isn't expecting anyone around, and that works for him. He's hoping that by rubbing one out in the showers he'll be able to have Harry-free dreams.

He hums softly as he makes his way towards the communal restroom. The overwhelming humidity and steam greet him as he steps inside. Frowning, he heads towards the shower side of the bathroom and sees that someone else is having a late shower.

Harry has his hands braced against the tile wall in front of him, his head ducked down as he lets the nearly scalding hot water wash down over him. Usually he takes his showers at six but he can't sleep and standing under a hot spray of steadily streaming water sounded like a great idea.

Louis clears his throat loudly as he sets his stuff down. He doesn't want to start the shower and startle whoever is showering. "Just a heads up, someone else is in here, mate."

Harry's done anyway so he reaches down and turns the knob off on the shower. Flipping his hair back and out of his face he grabs his towel and wraps it around his waist, stepping out only to find Louis.

"Oh, uh, hi. Do you often take three am showers?" Louis is going for teasing, but even he can hear the airy-ness of his voice. He wasn't expecting to find a shirtless, wet Harry tonight, but he's not complaining.

Harry shrugs, running his hand through his damp hair. "Not usually, can't really sleep. Showers usually clear my head. Do you usually take three am showers?"

Louis chuckles, "sometimes. I've been having disruptive dreams lately so I try and calm myself down with a shower so I'm not waking Niall up." He pulls his shirt from over his head and hangs it on a hook on the wall.

"What kind of dreams?" Harry asks curiously. He scratches over one of his hundreds of tattoos printed over his chest and arms.

"Trust me, you don't want to know." Louis laughs, trying to get Harry off this thought train. He strips down till he's in nothing but his boxers. "How's Nadine? I got to know her a bit better the other day."

Harry smiles at the mention of his girlfriend. "She's great. Came up to my room a couple of hours ago if you catch my drift. Normally that puts me to sleep."

Louis is trying not to gag at the thought, but tries his best to plaster on a smile. "Nice! As long as you're being safe and giving mutual head, sounds like a perfect system."

Harry looks at Louis weirdly, it's an oddly accurate thing to say. "Nadine doesn't suck dick, she thinks it's degrading."

"Well, she's right. My last relationship had me doing all the work. Makes you feel like a cheap whore." Louis begins to wring his towel. "Although, there's nothing like watching the guy fall apart from your mouth either. It can be degrading, but with the right guy if can be powerful too."

Harry shrugs. "I'll never force her to do something she won't do. Me on the other hand, I'm a pleaser. If she wanted me to eat her ass I probably would. I don't know I like taking care of her in all aspects."

Louis' cock twitches at the thought of Harry's tongue against his body and Niall's word about how masterful the boy is with his tongue is on replay in his head. "You're a pleaser? Are you really or does she just have you whipped?"

Harry smiles, kind of embarrassed. "A little bit of both."

"I bet you are. Niall did say you were great with your tongue though. Is that a natural skill or something you picked up over time?" He smirks as he looks to Harry.

If Harry had been drinking something he probably would have comically spit it out all over the floor. It's not like he cares that people know he's down with dick, but Nadine does not know and he doesn't need that circulating back to her. "Where the hell did you hear that from?"

Louis laughs, "I live with Niall, mate. We're both gay and we discuss who on this floor is the most likely to get it. You're number two, right behind Liam. Niall made some pretty compelling arguments about you though." He shrugs and side steps the lad to place his shampoo and soaps in the shower stall that Harry had just occupied.

"Look, I don't need anyone knowing that I've fucked around," Harry pauses to make sure no one is within earshot, "with dudes. Especially Niall."

"Who the hell would I tell? Outside of you, Niall, and Zayn I don't have any friends here. Downside of being a transfer student: everyone already has their friends set." Louis shrugs and turns to look at the boy. "Besides, you could do a lot worse than Niall. Trust me on that one."

"No, it's not like that. Niall's a great dude. Nadine can get a little jealous though and if she knew that I was friends with someone I used to fuck around with? She might actually make me decide between the both of them and there's not a chance in hell I'd stop being friends with Niall."

Louis perks up at that. This could be an opportunity to split up the dream team. "No worries, mate. I wouldn't want to ruin a relationship. That's just not okay, ya know?"

He grabs his towel and wrings it again getting it as taut as possible. "Now, you might want to get to bed. I'm probably going to rub one out in the shower and I don't think you want to be here for that."

Wrinkling his nose, Harry gathers everything he brought with him and heads for the exit.

Not able to just let the boy walk away, Louis calls out one more time. He waits for Harry to be facing him again before snapping his towel at the boy, smiling and laughing as he aims for Harry's waist.

The snap hits directly where Harry had loosely tucked his towel in, the white cotton slipping and falling off before Harry has a chance to realize what just happened. "Oh fuck."

Dropping his towel, Louis stares for a good ten seconds before blushing. "Jesus, sorry! I promise I wasn't trying to do that!"

He awkwardly steps out of the shower wanting to help. "Um, do you want me to, uh, get the towel for you? You have your hands full..."

Harry doesn't really know if he wants Louis near his dick. He holds his wadded up clothes to cover himself, his face and ears burning red. "Just toss the towel on top of my things, no one is out in the halls and my room is right around the corner."

"Right, yeah..." Louis awkwardly stoops down to grab the wet towel and tosses it into Harry's arms. "Well... Have a nice dick- shit. Day! I meant day! Have a nice day!"

Harry doesn't think his face could heat up anymore, quickly exiting the bathroom.

Once he's alone, Louis huffs and leans against the wall. "Fucking hell," he whispers to himself. He looks down to see himself half hard in his boxers. He slips the offending piece of clothing off before stepping into the shower stall and turning on the water.

He gets the perfect temperature for pleasing himself and wraps a hand around his cock. Shutting his eyes, he lets his mind wander to thoughts of Harry shirtless with the water from his shower clinging to him, his tattoos standing out against his tanned skin, the vein on the side of his RA's dick.

He moans softly as his thumb swipes across the tip and collects the precum there. It's crazy to think that he's seen Harry's cock and it honestly makes him want the younger boy even more. He wants to sink to his knees and get his mouth around the other; he wants Harry's long fingers tangled into the back of his hair and forcing himself down Louis' throat; he wants bruises that he'll have to cover up the next morning.

It's embarrassing just how fast the vision of Harry using him and manhandling him has him crying out in ecstasy. He doesn't slow his hand down as he comes, wanting to hit that second wave of euphoria. His breathing his stuttering and rough as his entire body tenses and his RA's name passes through his parted lips.

Opening his eyes, he sees the evidence of his fun on the opposite wall on the shower. He sighs heavily as he sinks to the floor and sits there to collect himself.

\------------

Liam laughs as Harry recounts another one of his story from practicum. It's weird to think that Harry will be teaching children how to read and write when the boy can hardly get through a story without being distracted. "They love you, but you're with a bunch of Year Twos. You're a giant to them and you have crazy hair. Of course they're going to laugh at first."

Harry pouts and wraps a long half curl around his finger. "I've been thinking of cutting it short again you know? Then the little devils don't have anything to yank on."

"Your short curls always did look great. Remember when we had similar hairstyles in freshman year and everyone mixed us up?" Liam can't believe they're already juniors. Even more incredible is the fact Harry is graduating a whole year early since he took enough summer classes. "Can you imagine graduation day? Fuck, we only have one more year."

"Curls getting girls." Harry grins high giving Liam. He sits back on his bed and stretches his legs out. "I'm just ready to get the hell out of school."

"I feel that. I'm just glad-"

Their dorm door is thrown open and Nadine is there, crying profusely. "Harry, I- I-" she can't form complete sentences between her sobs.

Harry nearly murders his head on the corner of his nightstand, rolling out of bed and in front of his girlfriend in a flash. He grabs her by her shoulders and pulls her into his chest, his fingers running through her long platinum hair. "Baby, what's wrong? Who hurt you? Do I need to kill someone?"

Nadine just continues to sob into his shoulder. She collapses against him, needing to feel the support from him and really just needing to be held. "I don't know how it happened. I really don't. I'm just so scared!"

Liam frowns and moves to shut the door. He figures this breakdown is for Harry's eyes only, but he also has homework to finish. He gets the heavy door shut before crawling back into his bed and popping his headset in.

Harry's extremely grateful for Liam, he'll have to buy him dinner later. "What are you talking about? Babe, I can't help if you don't tell me."

"I... Harry, I took a pregnancy test." Her voice is barely a whisper. She's scared. She knows without a doubt that it's his, but he can't even tell her that he loves her. "I don't know what to do."

Harry's hand stops petting through her hair and he has to pull back to properly look at her. He's not sure what his face looks like right now, probably a mix of shock and terror. "What? Are you late on your period?"

"By two weeks. You know I get it the same day of every month. I just... I took it on a whim, something my roommate suggested. Harry... What do we do?" Nadine is still crying, make up running down her face and she's smeared some on Harry's shirt. She's just so terrified of what he'll say.

"Okay what did the test say? Did it say it was-?" Harry can feel his heart sinking lower and lower into his stomach.

She looks at him like he's crazy. "Would I be here crying about a negative test result? What do you think it said Harry? 'Negative, but you should cry into your boyfriend's shoulder over nothing'? Honestly!" She's so stressed about the whole thing and him acting dumb isn't helping.

"Don't get mad at me! It's not like I'm told everyday that I could be having a kid! Oh my god. I'm gonna have a kid, oh my god." Harry feels lightheaded, his skin looks so pale and sickly. He doesn't remember blacking out.

"Harry? Harry!"

That catches Liam's attention and he's quickly jumping off his bed to pick mate up off the floor. "Jesus, what happened!"

Nadine refuses to answer. She hurried over to their mini fridge and grabs a bottle of water. Taking a washcloth from Harry's linen pile, she makes a cold compress. "Nothing. Nothing happened, he'll be fine. C'mon, Harry. Get up, get up, get up."

Eventually Harry comes around, his eyes are met with the ceiling then with Liam and Nadine who are hovering over him. "Oh fuck, what happened? Why am I on the ground?"

"Harry, you fainted." Nadine tries her best to seem calm as she dabs the compress to his head. "You scared me and Liam half to death."

Liam nods and grabs at Harry's hand. "You okay? What the hell even happened? I look up from my laptop and Nadine is screaming your name and you're sprawled out on the floor."

"Oh god, oh god. Fuck." Harry doesn't know what else to say, he's gonna have a kid in nine months.

"Is everything okay between you two?" Liam can sense some sort of shift in the room and he doesn't necessarily like it.

Nadine looks up to Liam with a forced smile. "Of course. Why wouldn't it be? I love him, he... Likes me. It's great!"

Harry tries sitting up, grabbing the cold rag and holding it against the forming knot on the back of his head. "Just. Peachy."

Nadine bites at her lip. The air in the room is thick with tension and she doesn't like it. "I should... I should go."

He knows he should probably stop her; she's just as, if not more, terrified than he is. But just looking at her, he can't help the way his eyes shift to her flat stomach. "I'll call you later. When we've had... A breather."

"Yeah... Sorry to just drop that on you. I just thought you should know." Nadine can feel the tears welling up in her eyes again. She shakes her head softly, trying to clear her mind. Leaning in, she presses her lips to Harry's hoping he knows that she still loves him. "Bye."

Harry kisses back and lets her go. Holy fuck he's going to be a dad.

Once she's gone, Liam looks at his best friend in concern. "So... What just happened? You look scared at hell, mate."

Harry almost swallows his tongue. Nadine seems pretty adamant on keeping it under wraps, but Liam is his friend and he could really fucking use his friends right now. "Nadine she's... She's pregnant."

"Oh, shit," Liam mumbles. He looks over his friend and can't imagine being in his position. "Harry, that's... I'm so... Shit, man."

He moves so he's next to his friend before pulling him into a sideways hug. "What do you need from me? I'm going to here for whatever you need, mate."

"What I need is to wake up from this nightmare!" Harry groans and buries his face in his hands.

Liam just holds his friend tightly. "Don't look at this like its a bad thing. There's a ton of good that will come out of this."

"I'm gonna have to drop out of school to raise this kid! Nadine will have to drop out too! Where are we gonna live? What are we gonna do?" Harry's legitimately freaking out

"Calm down, stop thinking about it like this. Let's just get through this semester and then try and figure it out." Liam can't handle Harry being strung out right now. "We'll ease into this. We'll work on your resume as a start. You know the campus is always hiring guidance councillors so maybe we can start there. If you work for the school, you'll get a huge chunk off plus your scholarships."

"But who's gonna raise her? I can't just expect Nadine to be with her all the time." Harry's too busy worrying to notice he's referring to the baby as a girl.

Liam can't help the small smile that slips into his face. "I'll be here and you know Niall will be all over that baby. Nadine isn't your only option. Her family only lives in the next town over. Everything is going to work out."

\------------

Harry throws back a shot as soon as the bartender slides one across the counter towards him. It's bitter and burns his throat on the way down but he doesn't really know how to deal with his problem without getting drunk as fuck first. 

"Can I get another?" He asks slipping a bill out of his wallet.

The bartender eyes him warily before pouring another shot. "Am I going to have to watch you tonight, kid? I'm not afraid to cut you off if I think you need it."

Liam, who had been standing there watching for Niall, laughs loudly. "Don't worry, mate. I'll be looking after him. Just needs a good night with his mates is all."

Harry grunts and takes that shot too, he can already feel his tongue start to get a little numb. A night out with the guys is pretty close to what he needs right now.

"So how are you going to tell Niall that he's going to be an uncle?" Liam says as he orders three pints and pulls Harry away towards a booth in the back of the pub.

"I don't know something like 'I knocked Nadine up, congrats.'" Harry shrugs, taking a good enough mouthful from his glass.

Liam sighs, but perks up again when he sees Niall enter the pub. "Oi! Over here!"

The blond happily makes his way over. "Thank god. I needed tonight. Louis is great, but he's a messy person. Just staring at the mess in my dorm room was killing me."

"I'm just surprised you didn't start cleaning." Harry teases, trying to keep the mood relatively light.

"I did last week! He got so upset. He said he can't find anything when it's clean. He just trashed it again. I mean he at least keeps it on his half of the room, but it's still visible to me." Niall shudders as he grabs his pint. "So what are we celebrating? Liam only drinks when we're celebrating."

Harry still doesn't know if celebrating is the proper word, grieving would probably be a better fit. "Sit down and I'll tell you."

Niall frowns and takes a seat next to Liam like he always does. "This is either really exciting or really heavy."

"Both, I guess." It's not like Harry's totally upset, as hard as this is gonna be he's going to have a baby. In nine months he's going to hold a tiny human he helped create. "I'm gonna be a dad, dude. If that's not fucking crazy."

The blond chokes on his beer a bit before setting the pint down and looking at his friend. "Harry... Oh, God. Mate, what are you going to do? Is Nadine going to keep it or...?"

"I think she is, I'd never ask her to get rid of her. If she wants to that's up to her but if she doesn't then I'm just gonna have to drop out and get a proper job."

"Harry, we've been over this. You won't have to drop out," Liam says with a heavy sigh. "You'll have such a huge support system."

Niall fiercely nods. "Yeah. And as godfather, I won't allow you to drop out. You need to provide that sweet blessing with the best opportunities which means that you need a degree."

"But I need a job and time to help raise her. I can't just expect Nadine to take care of our daughter on her own." Harry explains taking another long drink.

"Her? How far along is Nadine? Have you been hiding this from me for that long?" Niall hopes he doesn't sound too upset. "I mean, I get it, but really? I'm your best friend!"

Harry hasn't realized that he's basically been referring to the baby as a girl until now at least. "I-I don't know if a girl, Nadine isn't that far along we just found out yesterday." 

Maybe he is sort of excited to have a kid, it's downright fucking terrifying that he'll be responsible for another human being but the idea of being the first face a tiny life will see kinda warms his heart too. He's a fucking ball of emotions right now.

Liam looks at his friend, a small smile on his face. "I think you're going to be a great dad. You're most caring, compassionate, and loving person I know."

"Yeah, buddy. You're going to be great. I can already see it now." Niall is also smiling, the fondness for his friend shining through.

Harry smiles softly and slows down on his drink. "Thanks guys, I knew this is what I needed."

Niall just laughs and gulps down the rest of his pint. "Next round on me! We're celebrating!"

When the next round does arrive Harry actually clinks his glass with Niall and Liam's.

\------------

Louis is completely exhausted. He's had classes all day from early morning to mid afternoon and it's the first chance he's gotten to eat all day. He's in line at Subway when he sees Nadine and some of her friends. He's going to at least say hi to her so he heads towards her table once he's gotten his food.

"So what did you have to tell us? You sounded pretty overwhelmed, you added like eight frowny face emojis." Her friend Gigi says, picking at her fries. 

Nadine nods and sighs, she's been so exhausted the last couple of days. "I don't really know how to feel to be honest. I just want to tell you and Kendall in person since you're my best friends."

Kendall grabs at her hand. "Are you finally breaking up with Harry? I'm sorry, but you should have dropped him after he didn't say 'I love you' back."

Nadine's entire face falls, well this is gonna go over nicely. She retracts her hands and wrinkles her nose, annoyed. Normally she's good about hiding her feelings but she's pregnant and she's hormonal and Kendall being a bitch isn't going to solve anything. "No, I'm not. I don't find a new boyfriend every other month like you do, Kendall." 

Gigi tries to bite her lip to keep from laughing but she fails. She likes this Nadine, she's a cat with claws.

"Babe, being tied down isn't a good look on me. Trust me. Now what the hell is wrong?" Kendall decides to let the jab slide since she has a feeling that Nadine isn't in a good place.

"I'm-I'm pregnant." Honestly she thought it would be easier telling everyone else after telling Harry but it's not, if anything it's getting increasingly more difficult. 

"Holy shit," Gigi slips, her eyes shifting to look at Nadine's stomach then back at her. "Does Harry know?"

"Of course! He's the first person I told." Nadine bites her lip as she looks between the two. "So... What do you guys think?"

Kendall frowns and looks at her stomach. It's weird thinking about her friend having a baby in her stomach. "Well, you know how I feel about Harry, but if you decide to keep it I'll be there to help out."

It's crossed her mind, Harry's still obviously afflicted by the news. He answers her texts and isn't ever short with her but she can tell, through his words, and the fact that he still hasn't made time to come see her. The first 48 hours she almost hated the thing growing inside of her, she thought that her life was pretty much fucking over. After talking to her mum though she realized this baby didn't ask to be born, it's not their fault. Honestly her emotions have gone from one end of the damn spectrum to the other. "I'm not gonna give it up. Harry, he'll come around. He keeps calling the baby she." 

Gigi probably looks like the heart eye emoji, she makes an excited noise. "Your baby is going to be gorgeous! With your freckles and Harry's eyes."

Kendall smiles softly. "Okay, this is pretty exciting. Why the sad emojis in the text? This is great news! Plus, we know Harry will be there for you. He's definitely cares a lot for you."

"I'm scared," Nadine admits. She's not scared though, she's fucking petrified. "What if Harry doesn't come around? What if he decides this is it and I'll have to raise a baby on my own?" 

"Oh, babe. Even if Harry decided to leave, which he won't, you won't be on your own. You have your parents and you have us, I'll even change filthy diapers." Gigi squeezes Nadine's hand.

"This baby is going to be so loved, Kendall says as she rubs at Nadine's flat stomach.

Louis has stopped a few tables back, his bag gripped tightly in his hands. Nadine's pregnant? With Harry's baby? But... Why didn't Harry tell him? He swallows the lump in his throat and tries his best to seem unaffected as he passed their table. "Hey, Nadine!"

Nadine looks up and smiles softly. She really isn't in the mood to converse with anyone other than her best friends, but she's not a mean person. "Hi, Louis."

“How have your classes been going?”

Nadine hasn't been going to class the past few days, which she's literally never done in her life. She just doesn't think any of her lecture halls need to witness her running from her seat to go vomit. "They're fine, yours?"

"Pretty good. Harry and I have a massive group project due this week so we've been working pretty much non stop on that." Louis shrugs and hefts his bag higher up into his shoulder.

Nadine looks at the girls then back at Louis, moving her purse off the chair next to her. "Why don't you sit and eat with us? Don't think the girls will mind." 

Fluttering her lashes, Gigi leans forward with a sweet smile on her face. "Yeah come sit, we've never met before." 

Okay Nadine can't help but laugh, the first thing she's found funny since she saw that little pink plus on her pregnancy test. "You're so barking up the wrong tree."

Louis blushes, but nods at Nadine's words. "Yeah. Sorry, love. I'm, uh, I'm more into dicks. Thanks for the offer though. I have to get back to Harry so we can finish our project."

"You're gonna see Harry?" Nadine doesn't mean to sound or look so hopeful, but she misses her boy. "Tell him I said hey."

Louis frowns and wonders why he needs to tell Curly that his own girlfriend says hello, but he nods anyway. "Of course. Have a great lunch, ladies."

"I'll see you later, Louis." She smiles genuinely at him then turns back to her friends.

"Nice meeting you. Sorry for hitting on you." Gigi says.

Louis just laughs and waves goodbye before heading out of the food court. Once he's out of sight, his face becomes angry and he hurries back to his dorm.

\------------

In the past four days Harry's maybe gotten a grand total of like six hours of sleep. Almost every other dream is about the baby or something happening to the baby and Harry's not sure which one scares him more. 

He's walking back from the student parking lot after having come back from the primary school he's getting his hours from, head down, hoping to again avoid as many people as possible.

Louis is entering the dorm building in a frustrated mess when he sees Harry a few yards away. They have a project to finish so he figures he can grill him about the silence on the baby while they work. "Fancy seeing you here, Curls. Pick up the pace a bit so we can finish this project."

Harry's head jerks up and he has to literally bite his tongue to keep from saying something he'll regret. "I'll get to the room as fast as I want."

"It's due tomorrow in class and I don't want to deal with it later tonight." Louis snaps at the younger boy and hopes that his frustration is evident. "We have to finish the research, make a PowerPoint, and then prepare the presentation."

"Wow, this is the first project you're actually doing your share of the work." Harry's not even trying to be mean, but if Louis wants to be a bitch he can do the same thing.

Louis glares a bit, but holds the door open as Harry finally makes it to the building. "At least I talk about what I'm doing and important things going on in my life. This project is twenty percent of our grade!"

"You know what? I'm not gonna argue with you." It's literally not worth his time right now, he has more important things to deal with.

They make it to the elevator and the ride up to the third floor is quiet. Louis doesn't know how to bring up the baby without it being awkward, but he's still highly upset that he hadn't been told. "My room? Niall is out all day with Zayn. We won't be disturbed."

It's not like Liam would disturb them either, but Harry doesn't say this. Instead he nods his head and says, "okay."

"Ran into Nadine in the Union. She told me to tell you hello. She seemed sort of... Upset? Like she hadn't talked to you in a while or something." Louis tries to feign indifference, leaning against the wall of the elevator as they head up towards the third floor. "You guys okay?"

Harry tries not look at Louis weirdly, he really doesn't feel like he has to explain anything to Louis. "We text everyday. I've just been too busy with things to go and properly see her."

Louis shrugs. "Just a question, mate. Don't need your whole life story." He was hoping Harry would say something about the baby.

"Then why did you ask?" Harry's glad when the doors on the elevator open and he can step out into the hallway.

"Just forget it. Apparently it's not that important." Louis grabs his key from his pocket and leads the way towards his room. "If you sit on Niall's bed, be careful. He hides the weed in his pillowcase."

Harry sits on Niall's bed by the footboard, unzipping his bag and grabbing his workbook.

Louis grabs his laptop and textbook, hoping to distract himself from the anger at the boy across from him. "So we have to prepare a lesson on trust. How do get an elementary student's trust?"

"You share your animal crackers. There's a girl named Suzie in the class I visit and we've been best friends since I have her my elephant crackers." Harry shrugs.

"Share your... Really? Is that all it fucking takes?" Louis huffs, but writes it down. "In secondary, we share secrets. Secrets are the ultimate form of friendship."

"Kids are simple, they don't worry about the garbage everyone else does. People usually ignore what they have to say because they're 'just being kids' and I try and kick back against that. They're people with their own thoughts and emotions, if you listen to them and show some kind of solidarity they'll love you." It's probably why Harry prefers working with kids under the age of ten.

"It's not about love. It's about trust and respect." Louis rolls his eyes and continues to type the information onto a slide for their presentation.

"Love comes with trust and respect. Everyone I love has my utmost trust and respect. They're mutually exclusive."

Louis stops and looks at the boy in front of him. Obviously Harry doesn't trust Louis or he would have told him about the baby. He knows the anger is irrational, but he can't help it. "Get out. I'll finish this fucking project by myself. Just get the fuck out of my room."

Harry's head whips back like he just touched a scalding hot burner, staring at Louis like he sprouted an extra set of arms. "What the fuck? What did I say?"

"Fucking spouting off shit about trust and respect when you don't fucking trust people is rich." He slams his laptop shut and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Are you on something? Zayn selling you more than just weed? Because that's exactly what the fuck this sounds like to me. How are you gonna tell me I don't trust people when you know next to absolutely nothing about me." It's not like the two of them are best friends or whatever, Harry does not get where this animosity came from.

Louis stares hard at Harry. "Really? So there's nothing you haven't told me? No reason why Nadine's friends were all rubbing on her stomach and saying how great of a father you'd be?"

Harry's still not understanding what Louis' getting at. "Why do you care about the fact I'm having a kid? Was I supposed to come and fucking celebrate with you?"

"Well, yeah! I thought we were at least friends. Apparently, I was wrong. I guess it was stupid of me to assume that we were finally starting to click."

"Friends? Louis, do you even know anything about me? What's my middle name? What's my favorite color? When do we hang out other than to work on a class assignment? I told the people that needed to be told first, I don't care about who else knows after that." Honestly it's not like Harry's been acting any differently with Louis. Louis' not as much of an ass which means Harry isn't as much of ass back, that's literally it.

Louis can feel the anger slowly leave him as it all falls into perspective for him. He's so stupid. Of course they aren't friends. Everyone already has their friend group established and he's not included. He hates this college. He hates that he left Oxford. Most of all, he hates Harry Styles and his stupid face. "Just get out. I get it, you don't like me. That's perfectly fine. I've not been liked before and you're opinion isn't going to make or break me. I'll ask the professor to switch partners and I'll even put in for a room change request. Now, please, just get the hell out of my room."

Deciding not to argue, Harry just gets up and leaves. What's he even supposed to say to any of that?

Louis watches him go, desperation welling up inside of him. He swallows that lonely aching feeling and tries to focus on the homework in front of him.

\------------

Coming back from his last class of the day, Niall keys the lock on his dorm room door and shrugs his bag off his shoulders, settling his guitar case on the floor by one of the closets. Usually people complain about having classes after four but Niall literally does not mind considering it's an hour of him playing an instrument.

Louis looks up from where he has cocooned himself under his blankets. He had purposefully made the room as dark as possible and the light from the hall had disturbed him just enough. "Hey. Uh, would you mind keeping it dark in here and maybe keeping the noise to a minimum as well?"

"What's wrong with you? Are ya sick?" Niall doesn't understand any other reason to block out the sun and sleep all day.

"No? Just... Having a rough day." He doesn't exactly know how to tell Niall that he ruined whatever had been growing between him and Harry. "I, uh, I might put in a room change request. Hopefully you're next roommate will be a lot cleaner."

"What the fuck! Why?" That definitely grabs his attention. He sits down on his bed across from Louis and turns the lamp on. "I know I'm a bit of clean freak, but come on. You don't need to switch rooms."

Louis squints as his eyes try and adjust to the bright light. "It's not you... I need a different RA. That's all."

"What happened between you and Harry? If he's more of a tight ass than normal, he's just stressed." Call him biased, but Harry isn't that bad of a guy.

"We had a huge fight. I assumed we were friends and I got told otherwise. It's not that big of a deal." He tries not to delve too deeply into what happened. He doesn't Niall picking sides because he'll obviously take Harry's.

Niall remembers Harry mentioning something about their partner session not going well, but he had no clue it was a blowout. "If it wasn't a big deal you wouldn't be acting like this."

"Look, I get it. Transfer students don't ever really find their niche. It’s fine. I just don't like having that thrown in my face." Louis throws that card out there so Niall might leave the subject alone.

"We're friends. Your middle name is William, you have five sisters and a brother, you're incredibly smart, and you don't know the meaning of the word organization. I know it might not seem like you've got friends, but you do. You've got one in me." Niall smiles at him, hoping he's helping.

Louis sighs. He appreciates what Niall is doing and normally he would get up and crush the kid in a hug, but with nothing left but the truth he's worried. "We're friends, Niall. It just... What I am about to tell you does not leave this room. Got it?"

Confused, Niall just nods his head. "Yeah, alright. What is it?"

"I... I've sort got this confusing crush on Harry. That's why I got upset that I heard from Nadine that he's going to be a dad. When I confronted him about it, I got the whole 'we're not friends' speech." Louis focuses down on his comforter wanting to ensure that he doesn't see the judgemental look from Niall.

"Oh," Niall says, trying to keep an expressionless face but he can't help but chuckle. "Mate, tell me something I don't know."

"Huh?" Louis frowns and looks up at his roommate. "You knew?"

"I don't want to say it was obvious so I'll spell it out for you. It's O-B-V-I-O-U-S. You look at Harry close to the way I look at Zayn."

Louis can feel himself pale. "Oh god. Please tell me you're the only one that noticed?"

"Don't worry I'm pretty positive I'm the only one, well and Zayn, I tell him everything sorry." There hasn't been anything he hasn't told Zayn.

"What do I do? He can't find out." Louis starts to get worried that he's been too obvious with everyone.

"Harry's too thick, he didn't realize Nadine was pining after him for months, until Nadine kissed him. I doubt, unless someone tells him, that he'll find out." Niall doesn't really know if this conversation is going over well or not.

Louis sighs and flops down on the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, he bites at his lip. "Why am I even pining this hard? He's obviously hard up for Nadine."

Niall gets up and pulls the curtains back, opening up the blinds to allow the sunlight to stream in. "You can't help who you find attractive."

"I guess that's true. Fuck, he's got a nice cock as well. It's like the perfect size and everything." He groans and turns to buries his face in his pillow. "This isn't fair."

"Plenty of gay guys go to school here, I'm sure I can set you up with one just say the word." Niall doesn't really know a lot of them but if worse comes to worse there's always Grindr.

"I don't know. Maybe I'll just pull for a few nights. Maybe it's just sexual frustration." Louis shrugs and sits up. "Let's go to the bar."

"Yeah! Let me take a shower first and we can head out." Niall squeezes his friend's shoulder and heads for the bathroom.

Louis nods and lays back in bed. He thinks about what happened with Harry and sighs. It hurts that he doesn't even consider them friends, but Louis doesn't need that sort of negativity in his life right now. He's going to go out, get drunk, and pull some lucky guy. That's the plan for now.

\------------

Harry feels like shit. So Louis hasn't been the most compassionate person since he's arrived, but that didn't really give Harry a reason to say the things he did. He won't apologize for not telling Louis about the baby, but he'll apologize for telling him they weren't friends. They aren't, but they could be. 

Stopping in front of Louis' door, his fist lingers above the door before he eventually just knocks.

It doesn't take much before the door is pulled open. It's dark inside for the hour and the person at the door has to squint. "Can I help you?"

"Uh," it's hard to see but Harry can tell by the voice isn't neither Louis or Niall, "is Louis here?"

"Babe, some guy is at the door for you," he calls over his shoulder.

There's a huff and the sound of movement from inside. A few soft curses make their way out as well, but soon enough Louis is there wearing an oversized jumper. He flicks the light switch on so it's finally bright enough in the room. "Oh, uh, hey, Harry. What's up?"

Harry looks between them and notices the random wearing only a pair of briefs. What a loser who wears briefs? "Oh, did I interrupt something?"

"Of course not. Wouldn't have answered the door if I were in the middle of dicking him," the guy rolls his eyes like that should have been obvious.

Louis' cheeks flush and he swats at the man's arm. "Harry, this is William; William this is Harry. So what can I do for you?"

"I wanted to come talk to you but it can wait." He really doesn't want to bring up their issue in front of a total stranger.

"Oh, okay. Um, I'm probably not going to class, but we can talk after dinner or something." Louis shrugs and leans more into William's side. "Would that be okay?"

"Yeah, totally. I have a baby to prepare for anyway." Harry doesn't know why he says it, definitely not because he's jealous of the way Louis' leaning up against some weirdo. Definitely not.

"A baby? That sucks. That's why I switched to dick, mate." William laughs and slaps at Louis' ass. "That and guys don't get mad when you hit it and quit it."

"I wouldn't say it sucks, after this baby is born I'm gonna propose to Nadine." Honestly Harry doesn't know if he even wants to marry her but he can figure that out later.

Louis looks over at his RA. "Wait. Really? You're going to... I mean, that's nice and all, but don't marry her if you don't love her. Trust me, broken homes are worse than not being there."

"I wouldn't propose if I didn't love her, I'm not a dick. I'm in love with her and I've warmed up to the idea of being a dad." Could he really spend the rest of his life with Nadine? He's still skeptical about the baby ordeal.

"I'm not saying you don't. I'm just... That can mess a kid up." Louis shrugs.

William laughs. "Oh yeah! I completely forgot about your daddy issues. Is that why you loved being praised and calling me daddy? Compensating for someone else?"

That kind of pisses Harry off. "What the fuck did you just say to him? 'Daddy issues' really? You're gonna use the fact that his dad wasn't around as a way to insult him? What fucking sewage pipe did Louis find you in?"

"Harry, it's..." Louis wants to say 'okay', but it isn't. He barely knows William; he really only knows his body. "It's fine. He's a decent guy."

"I mean if you're cool with sleeping with assholes that's up to you, but don't expect me to not say something." Harry feels his phone in his back pocket vibrate and figures it's Nadine texting him. "I have to go, but I'll see you after dinner?"

"Yeah... I'll go to your room this time." Louis tries to sound small and like nothing is wrong. "Take notes in class for me?"

"Or," William interjects, "you could stay here and we can make this a threesome? I'm sure Louis wouldn't mind."

Harry nearly chokes on his own spit. "I just compared you to trash in a sewer and you want me to have sex with you?"

"Hell yeah," William grins brightly. "I love a bit of attitude in the sack. Plus, we could wreck him. Look at him! Tiny and lithe, practically asking for it."

Louis' brows furrow at that. "I think... I think Harry should head to class and you should head home."

"Harry should definitely head somewhere. I'll see you later when he's not with you." Harry gives William one last look, practically speed walking down the corridor.

William waves after him before turning back to Louis. "One more quick round before I go?"

\------------

After sending William home, Louis spent the rest of the day dreading what Harry wanted to talk about. It couldn't be good considering the last time they spoke to each other.

The day is spent showering, doing homework, and cleaning his half of the room so Niall doesn't hate him. It's a long time to kill, but suddenly it eight at night and Louis finds himself knocking on Harry's door.

Answering the door, Harry's got his face buried in his phone trying to have a civil conversation with his mum, they're both failing the civil part, of course Harry isn't going to react well to Anne calling this child a mistake. What a bitch. 

"Come in." He doesn't even look up, muscle memory aiding him in walking back into his room and to his bed.

Louis steps inside and shuts the door before awkwardly standing just beside the barrier. He doesn't really know where exactly to go since there's no chair or anything for him to sit on. "Uhhhh..."

"You can sit on the bed." Harry rolls his eyes, tossing his phone on the pillow away from him. He can only handle his mum for so many texts.

"Right," Louis says as he scrambles up onto Harry's comforter and sits facing him. "Sorry about earlier by the way. Didn't think it was you outside the door."

"It's whatever, just don't sleep with people who treat you like that. It's not good for your mental health." Harry leans back against his headboard. "Right, so I wanted to apologise for the other day. I'm not sorry I didn't tell you. I told Liam and Niall and they've been there for me for years, alright? But I am sorry I said we weren't friends, I didn't think you wanted to be friends. If you do though I'm sure we can work something out."

Louis wants to argue that his mental health is just fine, but that's talk for another time. "I'm sorry for getting so angry. I don't know why I thought you should have told me. I do want to be friends though. You were right though. I don't know anything about you."

Harry nods and looks up towards the glow in the dark stars taped to his ceiling. "My middle name is Edward and my favorite color is orange. I'm from Holmes Chapel, I was born blond, and I like to read poetry."

"My middle name is William and red is tops, mate. I'm from Doncaster, was the cheekiest baby ever, and I love discovering new things." Louis says with a smile.

"I used to work in a bakery, I love cooking more than I like to admit, and my favorite animal is a cat."

"I love football, always thought I would play professionally. My first job was at the Rover's stadium. I love animals, but we never had a pet growing up. Too much work since mum was always busy and we were too young to be trusted." Louis shrugs as he talks about himself. It's weird to have to do this someone.

Harry nods trying to store everything away for memory. "Can't really think of anything else right now."

Louis looks over at him. "I can talk about my family if you want?"

"Uh, sure if you want." Harry really hopes Louis doesn't ask about his, he's not really ready to open up that can of worms just yet.

"Let's see..." Louis thinks about his family dynamic. "My dad's name is Troy Austin and he left before I even turned one. Mum said he tried, but he got so overwhelmed and just walked out. Mum and I were alone till I was like three. Then she met Mark and I finally had a dad; I felt normal. He adopted me and they changed my name. I was originally named Troy William Austin, after my biological dad, but when Mark adopted me they changed it to Louis William Tomlinson."

"I can't imagine you being named Troy. You would absolutely hate me. I would probably sing Get Your Head in the Game during partner projects." Harry chuckles.

"Trust me, I'm super glad they changed it when that movie came out." Louis laughs as he remembers hating that movie just because of that name. "Anyway, they got married and two years later I got my sister Lottie. Things were great and I gained another three sisters, Fizzy and the twins- Phoebe and Daisy. I someone made high enough marks and got into Oxford. During my first term there, I got a call from my mum telling me that her and Mark were getting a divorce."

"That's shitty, mate. What happened after?" Harry asks, genuinely interested.

Louis shrugs. "Mum carried on. The girls were all old enough to help out so I don't think much changed. Within a year though, mum was married again to Dan. Two months after that she was pregnant again."

He sighs as he thinks of all the shouting and fighting when he tried to talk to his mother about everything. "She had another set of twins, Doris and Ernest Deakin. That's seven kids, I don't know how she does it."

"I don't know how your mum does it either." Harry doesn't know if he could survive with seven kids.

"Well, before I transferred here her and Dan divorced. She has custody of all of us. She told me that I had to drop out and come home to help her, but I'm so close to finishing." Louis kind of resents his mother for putting him in that situation. "There were a lot of fights between her and I, but we reached a compromise. I had to transfer here if I wanted to continue my education."

"No wonder why you were such an ass about Man U. This university is great though, trust me."

Louis laughs loudly. "I see that now. It's just... I was at Oxford. People around the world dream about going there and I transferred out."

Oxford is a highly prestigious school, Harry supposed he would probably feel the same if he was in Louis' situation. "Well you've got Niall, Liam, Zayn, and I to help you get through it."

"Thanks, Harry. That means a lot." Louis hopes he sounds genuine. "What about you? Maybe not like family stuff if you're uncomfortable with that, but maybe like... Nadine? Niall?"

"Do you really want to know about Nadine? And I doubt Niall hasn't already told you everything about himself." Truthfully Harry just doesn't like talking about himself.

"I mean... I just thought... Nevermind. Um, maybe like why you're studying education?" Louis was hoping for him to open up so he doesn't have to tiptoe around the whole Gemma subject.

Harry's wanted to work with kids since his dad walked out on him. When it happened he made it clear to a four year old Harry he was never wanted and it was a horrible feeling that had been allowed to flourish into the horrible anxiety he has now. "Kids are impressionable, any impact, no matter how small is still an impact. I want to be a positive light and a source for comfort for the children who don't have it. It's easier to build up a child than to fix an adult you know?"

Louis nods, "I get that. I'm good with kids, probably because of all my sisters growing up. I figured I should take that and mix it with my love for science."

"I like poetry and books so English made sense to me, although I'm really hoping to be a homeroom teacher instead."

"Should have done counselling. Sounds like you'd make a great guidance councillor." Louis lays back a bit and stares up at the ceiling. "Are you really in love with Nadine?"

That's a loaded question. Technically Harry did lie but what's he going to say if Louis asks him why he said it when he doesn't even understand why he lied? "I'm falling for her."

Louis let's the silence around them settle for a few minutes as he tries to think of something to say. He needs Harry to understand how much this will affect his kid. "Just... Just promise me you'll think about that baby first. I know the knee jerk reaction is to marry her, but speaking from experience: it hurts a lot less when you grow up thinking that your daddy loves you but couldn't handle it rather than watching him grow unhappy and knowing that there's nothing you can do to fix it."

"Like I told you before, I wouldn't do that. This baby is my priority, she- they come before everything else." Harry's not dumb enough to make a commitment like marriage if he's not completely serious about it.

"I know it just... Worries me." Louis sighs and looks over at Harry. "I really am sorry about what I said and about William earlier. He's... Not the brightest bulb in the box."

"He's an ass is what he is, you could do better than that." Harry says.

Louis lets out a sad chuckle. "Well, he wasn't acting like that last night. Plus, I picked him up at a dive. There usually aren't any upstanding gentlemen at those places."

Harry's never understood the appeal of a one night stand, he'd rather have sex within a relationship, or at the very least a friends with benefits type situation. "So you also pull ransoms on seedy bars, anything else you'd like me to know about you?"

"I mean, I'm just sexually frustrated. I don't really have a guy so I have to get my fun when I can. That might mean a random or just my hand in the showers."

"Your showers seem to be fun," Harry teases until he realizes Louis doesn't know. "You remember when you snapped your towel and mine, er, fell off?"

Louis blushes and looks down at the comforter. "Yeah. I'm so sorry for that."

"It's fine," Harry laughs at the color blossoming on Louis' face. "Well the showers are right behind my room and I kinda heard you rubbing one out when I got back to my room. Ha, what riled you up between me leaving and me getting to my bed?"

"You could hear me? Oh god." Louis covers his face in mortification. "I'm so sorry. I'll just say it... You have a nice cock."

It's Harry's turn to turn a glowing shade of pink, he can feel his face grow hot up to his ears and down his throat. "Oh that's- uh, thank you?"

"Well, it was great inspiration for... Alone time." Louis peeks through his hands to look at Harry.

"Oh my god," Harry laughs and covers his face. It's oddly flattering? Most guys would probably be weirded out, but like he said himself you can't help who you're attracted to. "You should definitely omit that when you talk to Nadine. She gets horribly jealous."

"Don't need to tell me twice. God, could imagine that conversation? 'Hey, Nadine. Congratulations on the baby! By the way, Harry has a fantastic cock. You've got good taste.'" He laughs hysterically as he think about that. "I guess she really doesn't have good taste if she hasn't sucked you off yet."

Harry doesn't think he could blush any harder. "And who told you that?"

Louis laughs and looks at the curly haired boy. It isn't fair how attractive he is. "You did in the bathroom that night. You said she thinks it's degrading."

"Right. Sorry, sometimes Niall's got a big mouth on him. I'm afraid he's gonna tell someone something way too personal about me one of these days." Harry chuckles and looks up at Louis through a curtain of his hair.

"Niall wouldn't do that to you. He loves you too much to even think about betraying your trust." Louis hopes he sounds convincing since Niall did spill the beans about Harry's tragic past.

"You've got a point there," Harry says and checks his phone for any notifications. "I do have to head back. I'm gonna go and grab dinner for preggo down the hall... Don't tell her I called her preggo."

Quirking an eyebrow at the RA, Louis smirks as he adds it to the ever growing list of things not to say to Nadine. "What's wrong with preggo? It's what she it."

"Yeah, but she thinks I'm only sticking around for the baby and not her too... Which I don't want her to think." Harry gets off his bed and slips his feet into a pair of comfortable slippers.

"Makes sense. Alright, I've got a science paper to work on. Thank you, by the way. I just... This makes me feel a ton better." He'd much rather be friends with Harry than nothing at all.

Rolling his eyes Harry hooks his fingers around Louis' wrist and pulls him into his chest, hugging him.

"Oof!" Louis huffs as he's pulled into the affection. It's not what he was expecting, but his arms come up to wrap around Harry.

Harry let's go after a moment and smiles, "we're good now yeah? Friends?"

Smiling, Louis cheekily says, "we're on the way to being friends."

Harry softly punches Louis' shoulder and leads him out of his dorm to the hall. As he's retreating towards the elevator he says, "see ya later, friend!"

\------------

Shopping is the last thing Harry wants to be doing right now. If it weren't for Liam almost dragging him out of bed to have a boy's day out or whatever then he'd still be sleeping. They're mostly just window shopping, going into a few stores to try and find a dress shirt for Niall's upcoming instrumental performance. 

"This one," Harry says holding up a hideous blue and yellow pinstriped button up, he's not being serious of course.

Liam gags at the eyesore. "He'd look like a worker at one of your mum and pop shops. I veto that entirely."

"What about this?" Niall holds up a simple baby blue button up with denim feel to it. "Not too dressy and not to laid back."

"Slightly better than my choice, I like it." Harry shrugs and hangs the shirt he's been holding back on the rack.

Niall keeps the shirt with him and continues to look around. "I have a hat that would go great with it. I don't want to look stuffy. Want to look like I belong in a pub."

Harry wrinkles his nose. "If you're talking about that newsies cap it would make better firewood than an accessory."

"Oi! I love that cap!" Niall says with a pout.

"Not really recital appropriate though, is it?" Liam asks trying not to agree with Harry in a way that wouldn’t hurt Niall's feelings.

"I'm gonna go find the hats and see if I can find something from this century." Teasing, Harry picks a direction and heads that way, hoping to find the hats.

Niall rolls his eyes and looks himself over in the mirror once more. He worries his lip between his teeth. "What do you think think, Liam? Harry is obviously more interested in my accessories."

Laughing loudly, Liam smiles brightly and looks at his friend. "Looks great, mate. Knowing the piece you'll be performing makes the look complete. Now hurry up and change before Harry actually does find the hats."

Wandering the store Harry somehow ends up in the baby section. Tempted, he goes down an aisle and takes in all the baby bottles, bibs, and rattles. It's kinda overwhelming, the fact that he'll be shopping here eventually. 

He's about to leave when something catches his eye. There's a wall of pacifiers, the one that got his attention is a soft pink with an image of a baby duckling smiling. He doesn't know why but he takes it off the hook and heads back to find his friends.

Liam plays around on his phone for a bit while Niall changes back into his clothes. He looks up and smiles as he sees Harry returning to them. "What you got there, mate?"

"Oh uh," Harry looks down at the binky sitting in his palm and shrugs. "Something I found."

"Is that...?" Liam's face goes soft at the item in question. "I think you're more excited than you think about the baby."

Harry can't really help the soft smile stretching across his face. "Maybe."

"Oi! Are you two having a moment without me? Absolute worst friends ever!" Niall emerges from the dressing room, looking at them with a pout.

Laughing Harry shows Niall the pacifier. "I'm just warming up to the idea of being a dad is all."

Niall smiles brightly. "That's adorable! When's the first sonogram?"

"I think two weeks from now. I don't know; I feel like it won't really sink in until I actually see her, you know?" Harry says.

"Well, once you do, we're celebrating again. We'll grab Louis and Zayn and the three of us and just go out and smash it." Liam says happily as they head towards the counter.

Harry nods and goes to another checkout lane, handing the woman there a pacifier.

After they've checked out and leave the store, Liam's phone begins to ring. He looks at it with a frown and sighs. "We have to head back soon. Two of our residents got into a fight."

"God, if it's Nick and Oli again they're not going to be residents much longer." Harry slides the pacifier into his pocket and follows his friends out.

\------------

Harry kisses Nadine as soon as she opens the door, maneuvering around her to lie out on her bed. "I'm absolutely exhausted." 

Since the news broke Harry figured it would be good to pick up a job and save up some cash. He found one at a restaurant down the street and nearly every night he goes from his last class to a closing shift at work. Honestly he barely had time to think.

Nadine smiles softly as she keeps the door open per the university rules and goes to lay down on the bed with him. She stretches out to cuddle up next to him and presses a kiss to his collarbone. "I'm sorry. If it helps, I got hired in the Learning Lounge today. So I'll be doing classes, clinicals, tutoring, and RA duties from now on. It's pretty good pay, about £10 an hour."

"What are we gonna do when the baby is here?" Harry knows one of them is going to have to severely cut their schedule to take care of the baby. If the baby breastfeeds it'll most likely have to be Nadine.

"I don't know yet. I can always see if my parents will take them and then we just go and visit when we can. They're close and we would be able to stay in school if we did that."

Harry doesn't know if he really likes that, he wants to be a dad and it's not really going to feel like it if he's not the one getting up with her in the morning and taking care of her. "I- We'll talk about this when you're closer to term."

She hums quietly and throws an arm around his waist. "Let's think about happier things. Baby stuff tends to depress me unless it's like names or something. We don't even know the gender yet though so we can't really talk about names."

"Well," Harry says picking at the strings on her comforter, looking towards the ceiling instead of at Nadine. "I was thinking, if it's a girl..." His voice trails off unsure. He doesn't know how Nadine is gonna take it, they haven't really mentioned his sister since the accident. "Could we name her Gemma?"

Nadine is silent as his words bounce around in her mind. Gemma was important to both of them.

Gemma had been her very best friend and his sister, but she's been trying to move on. Naming their daughter after her was a sweet gesture, but she's worried that it'll always be a constant reminder of the past. She doesn't want to say no outright though and hurt him.

"What if we put it as her middle name? I just... I don't want to look at her and be flooded with memories that I've tried to forget. That'll be too painful." She tries to say it as gently as she can.

"I guess." Sighing, Harry sits up and stares at her patterned carpet. It's not that he's mad that Nadine wouldn't want to name their daughter after his sister, but it aches. "I think I'm gonna head out. I have an opening shift at 5am."

"Harry... Just stay. Please? Taylor is staying at a friend's house tonight so you can sleep over." She knows that her answer isn't what he wants to hear, but she's unsure how to get him to understand. "Please just stay..."

"I'll text you." Harry stands and slips his feet into his shoes.

Nadine watches as he continues to leave her. He doesn't even look at her and it hurts. This baby is ruining everything for them and she just doesn't want it anymore. "What if we named her Gemma? Would you be able to see her and not think about your sister?"

"We don't have to name her Gemma." Harry tries to shrug nonchalantly. "I have an early shift alright?"

"Harry, come on. Let's talk about this. Running away from this isn't okay. Obviously, this is important to you." Nadine wants to go back to what they used to have.

"I'm not running away," Harry says, exasperated. He already done with this conversation. Honestly he's been getting so annoyed with Nadine lately. "I'm just preventing a fight before it starts."

"That's the same thing! That's the same thing as running away and you know it." Nadine doesn't know why everything has been going to shit lately.

"So what? Do you want me to fucking yell then? Do you want to start a fucking fight?" Harry's voice raises, turning around to look at his girlfriend.

Nadine sits up, a defiant look in her eye. "I want you to be honest with me. I want you to tell me how you really feel. You've been so complacent since Gemma and it's not you! It's like you don't trust yourself to be real with me!"

"You're fucking ridiculous, you're so fucking out of your mind. I stopped selling drugs and getting into shit since my sister died! So tell me how the fuck me changing is bad?"

"I'm not saying your actions are bad. I love that you don't do drugs anymore. I love that you only get drunk maybe once a month. I'm saying, emotionally, you've changed. And I know that losing her was a big change and impact for you, but now everything I get from you is surface-level-Harry and it's almost like you're too scared to tell me how you really feel."

"What the hell do you think I'm doing right now? You want me to be real? I don't want your parents to raise our fucking kid, that sure as fuck isn't happening. You've done nothing but smother me since we found out you were pregnant! I don't even know if I want us to work out, if I stay it's for the damn kid!" Harry goes silent after that, looking quietly at the ceiling.

Nadine looks at him and tries not to cry. She asked for it, she wanted him to be real with her and this is what she gets. She sighs heavily as she thinks of the appropriate words. "Okay. When the baby is born, we'll figure something out. I won't ask my parents to help or anything unless we really need it. We... We can name her Gemma, Gemma Grace. As for us... Well, we'll have to cross that bridge soon."

Her voice is surprisingly calm and steady. It's actually worrying her a bit. "For now, you should go; you have an early shift after all. I love you... Please close the door behind you."

Harry can't even look at her, this isn't how he wanted the conversation to go. Turning around he hurries out of her room, closing the door on his way out.

\------------

Louis is hanging out in the roof of his dorm. He had almost been caught smoking in his room so he decided that he should lay low and smoke somewhere more private. The roof seemed like the only viable option. He's on his second joint when he hears the door open behind him.

Staggering onto the roof with a bottle in his hands, Harry sees Louis sitting on the cement by the edge of the building. "Louis!"

The older boy rolls his eyes, but smiles warmly at his fiend. "Hello, Harry. Did you come to kick me off the roof then?"

"Actually I came up here to have a one man party but I guess you can join." Crossing his legs, harry takes a seat right next to Louis, their knees knocking together.

"Yeah. Cheers, mate." Louis takes another drag of his joint and blows the smoke out into the night sky. "So why the one man party?"

"Nadine and I are on the rocks. Funny story, I kinda told her I was mostly staying for the baby because I was mad." Pausing, Harry thumbs the cap off his liquor and takes a good swig, wiping his mouth on his shirt sleeve. "But the more I think about it the more I'm not sure whether it's true or not. Things are really fucked."

"Well, maybe you just need a nice long think. You keep saying you can learn to love her, but how long have you been saying that?" Louis doesn't really want to help, but he can't sit here and watch Harry suffer.

"Awhile I guess." Harry goes silent, staring down at his half empty bottle. "Am I a shitty person?"

Louis chuckles and looks bitterly at the concrete below him. "If you're a shitty person, that makes me the scum of the Earth. Come on, Harry. You don't really think you're a shitty person."

"What kind of person leads someone on? That's basically what I'm doing right? Nadine could find someone that'll actually tell her they love her, she deserves it."

"Did you intentionally do this? Did you know that you would never be able to love her in the way she wants?" Louis won't have Harry beating himself up over something he didn't know about.

Harry shrugs, taking another drink from the lip of the bottle. "I guess you're right."

The older smiles and moves so his lower legs dangle over the side of the building as he sprawls out over the roof. "Of course I'm right. I'm always right." He looks over at Harry and smiles at how pretty and peaceful the younger looks in that moment.

Drunkenly Harry leans over, half his body almost on top of Louis' and kisses him.

Louis freezes for a second before letting himself have that moment. He reaches up and tangles his fingers through the loose and wild curls. His mouth fits perfectly against Harry's and he never knew he needed this until that moment.

Harry's fingers flirt against Louis' clavicle, the soft wet tip of his tongue lightly pushing against the seam of Louis' mouth.

A steadying hand to Harry's waist is what Louis accomplishes before pushing his RA back so that they're panting into each other's space. "Harry... We can't. You've got... You've got Nadine and the baby."

Blinking owlishly, Harry's eyes shift to the bottle in his hand. He's not feeling so drunk anymore. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have- please don't tell Nadine."

"Your secret is safe with me. If it was a different time and place, maybe we would have worked out, yeah?" Louis aims for joking, knows that Harry needs to write this off as a drunken mistake, but he can't help the slight bitterness and longing that creeps into his voice.

Harry doesn't know how to answer that, what would be the best thing to say after he cheated on his longtime girlfriend? "I should probably go. Someone might need me."

"I'm sure Liam will be taking the on call phone for the night." He looks pointedly at Harry, hoping the boys understands that he can't move till Harry gets off of him.

Harry sits back and nods, hand going through his hair. "Oh my god, I just cheated on Nadine. I'm an awful fucking person."

Louis sits up, rolling his eyes. "One drunken kiss isn't the end of the world. It's okay."

"I kissed someone that wasn't my girlfriend! She deserves someone so much better than me." Harry's face falls into his hands and he can't help cry. He's always been a caring person and to know that he broke a code of trust and hurt Nadine, even if it is unknowingly, hurts him.

"Harry, come on. She's never going to find out." Louis doesn't really know how to comfort the boy.

Harry's kind of needed this, it extends beyond Nadine and a drunken kiss. He feels like he's fucking up and he doesn't know how to handle it.

Louis sighs and looks at the younger boy. "Come on. Let's go back downstairs, order a pizza, and head to bed. You can sort everything out in the morning."

Harry wipes his eyes with his sleeves and solemnly nods. "Okay. Sorry, for the tears. I probably shouldn't drink when I'm upset."

"That's a rule for everyone," Louis says as he carefully gets to his feet. He helps the boy up and pulls him close so he doesn't stumble off.

Harry lets Louis lead him back inside. God how pathetic does he look?

\------------

Nadine can't believe that they finally found time to work in a doctor's appointment. It's been at least a month and a half since she told Harry about the baby and every day since then has been filled with papers, RA meetings, and resident problems.

She's nervous and worried and she can practically feel the tension between her and Harry. "Hey, uh, are we okay?"

"As okay as we can be," Harry says honestly. They've been trying to work through their problems but it's becoming increasingly apparent, to Harry at least, that there might be too many to salvage a relationship. Harry cares for Nadine but he doesn't want to put his child in an unhappy home.

She wants to apologise for everything. If it wasn't for this baby, everything between them would be fine. It's absolutely crazy how much has shifted between them. She settles for reaching for his hand and linking their fingers together. "We're going to be the greatest parents ever, yeah?"

At least Harry can agree to that. He doesn't have too many doubts that they'll be as good as they can be. "This baby is going to be so loved."

"Harry, I'm sor-"

"Miss Leopold?"

A nurse calls for them and Nadine curses at the timing. "Come on, Harry. Let's go see our daughter."

Harry stops her in the middle of the waiting room and kisses her forehead, "everything will be okay."

Nadine smiles softly as the nurse leads them back towards one of the examination rooms. "Yeah..."

She's helped up onto the table and answers a few questions about her medical history, eating habits, and the like. They frown at her when they take weight and scribble notes onto her chart. "Well, the doctor will be here shortly. Do you two need water or anything?"

"I think we'll be alright." Harry says, waiting until the nurse leaves to look at Nadine. "Did you notice the look on her face?"

"Yeah. I've only gained like five pounds. Am I supposed to weigh more? Less? Should I stop going to the gym?" Nadine doesn't like to be looked at like she's unhealthy and the look on the nurse's face is burned into her mind.

"You should probably be heavier." A look of concern crosses Harry's face, what if there's something wrong with their kid?

Nadine just reaches out for Harry's hand, needing the comfort. "Everything will be okay... Everything will be okay..."

Harry squeezes her hand, running his thumb over her knuckles. She's right, everything will be fine.

The doctor comes in with a smile. "Well, hello there. Miss Leopold I presume and you are...?"

"Harry, her boyfriend." Harry says and tries to smile back, but even he can tell it's forced.

"Nice to meet the two of you. Now," he sits down in the rolling chair and looks over the chart the nurse had left for him. "It says here you've not menstruated for three months. So is that about a rough estimate for how far along you are?"

Nadine nods. "Yes. I was on the pill and we were using condoms, but I guess we weren't careful enough."

"And you're sure you always used a condom?" He looks at Harry questioningly.

"Always, it was a priority that we used contraception." It's the only way Nadine would have sex with him, not that Harry really minded.

"Interesting. Well, it also says here that you've only gained five pounds. By this point, you should have gained ten at the least." The doctor wheels the ultrasound machine over. "I think I know what's going on, but I definitely need to check just in case I'm wrong."

Harry helps Nadine lie out on her back, his hand still in hers. He stares intently at the screen while the doctor rubs gel over his girlfriend's stomach.

The machine whirs to life and the screen flickers as the picture of Nadine's womb comes into focus. The doctor looks around inside of her for a few moments before smiling. "Congratulations. You're not actually pregnant."

Nadine's brows furrow as she looks at Harry. "Wait. What?"

"What?" Harry isn't sure if he heard right, there's no way Nadine isn't pregnant. "She took a test and it was positive."

The doctor turns the machine off and hands Harry a paper towel to wipe off Nadine's stomach. "I noticed that you recently switched to soy milk. Soy is great, except that it floods the body with estrogen. When that happens, a woman's body will display symptoms of pregnancy without truly being pregnant. So you weren't ovulating because your body really did think it was pregnant. The morning sickness though was a side effect of you thinking you were pregnant and going into a hysterical pregnancy."

Harry's almost at a loss for words, absentmindedly sponging off the slick gel. "So we're not having a kid? It was a false alarm?"

"Exactly. You guys get to have another go at this college life." The doctor smiles and looks between the two.

Nadine smiles warily and looks to Harry. "Are we happy about this?"

Honestly Harry doesn't even know. At first he had been terrified, almost ready to run but it's progressed so much further. He began to get excited, buzzing about having a baby. He grew to love the idea of being called dad, he bought a fucking pacifier, but now he's being told there isn't a kid? "I-I need a minute." 

Getting up he immediately leaves the room, closing his eyes and almost hoping the doctor is wrong somehow.

Nadine frowns and finishes pulling herself together. "Thank you, doctor. Is there anything else?"

He shakes his head no and lets her go after her boyfriend. "Harry? Harry, what's wrong?"

"I kinda wanted a baby." Harry says, staring in the opposite direction. Right now he doesn't want to look at her, doesn't want her to see just how much he wanted one.

"I know you did. Maybe... Maybe we just weren't ready. Maybe this is God's way of telling us to wait." Nadine places a hand on his arm softly.

"Can we talk about this later? I want nothing more than to get back to campus."

Nadine looks hurt at his short attitude with her, but chalks it up to him being emotional. "Yeah, of course."

Immediately Harry turns the other way and leaves, if he stays in the hospital any longer he might suffocate on the tension.

\------------

Harry's sitting on the sofa in his shared living room, absently watching the television in front of him. Since he's gotten back from the ultrasound he's been staring through the TV set, his mind aimlessly wandering back to the fact that he's not having a kid.

Liam sighs as he opens the door to his and Harry's safe haven. He just failed a political science quiz and found out to make it up he has to write a five thousand word essay on the Scottish referendum. "Hey. How was classes?"

"Didn't go," Harry shrugs, pretending to watch whatever the hell is playing.

"Huh? But you said that attendance is twenty percent of your grade in there! Harry, you need that class for your teaching credentials." Liam tosses his backpack onto his bed before coming to sit down next to his friend and roommate.

"Me skipping class a few times isn't going to fail me." Rolling his eyes he searches for the remote under him.

Liam frowns and watches his friend for another moment. "What happened? You're not usually in such a bad mood."

Harry looks at him, hoping he looks passably confused. "I'm not in a bad mood."

"Really?" Liam grabs the remote and turns off the television. "You have that kicked puppy, hate the world look on your face. I've only ever seen that look right after Gemma died."

It's quiet as Liam softens. "Did something happen today that made you think of her? Did Nadine agree to name the baby after her?"

Honestly Harry would rather not talk about it, he's already feeling horrible enough he really doesn't want to be reminded. This is Liam though and Liam is too stubborn to quit asking him things. "I went to the doctor's with Nadine to look at the sonogram." He swallows the noticeably dry patch in his throat, searching to find the right words. "She's not pregnant."

Silence and tension fill the room. Liam is shocked. How could she just lie like that? "But... But she took a test. Maybe the doctor missed it...?"

"Apparently soy milk can like trick the body into thinking there's a baby, that's why she had a positive test," Harry explains.

"So... What did Nadine say when he said that there was no baby?" Liam has had talks with her while Harry had been at work and he knows that she was less than thrilled with the prospect of having a baby so young.

He really didn't give her the chance to tell him, he kinda walked out of the hospital as soon as she left her room. "She seemed pretty happy I guess."

Liam looks at his friend. The pacifier he bought is lying on the table next to his arm. "And you?"

"I think you know the answer to that." Harry looks away towards the opposite wall.

"Harry..." Liam moves so he's wrapping his friend up tightly in his arms. "It'll be okay. You and Nadine will finish college and then have all the time in the world to focus on babies and family."

"That's kind of it though," sighing Harry figures it's best if Liam isn't holding him when he tells him everything that's been on his mind. "I don't think I want to be with Nadine. We don't work well under stress, we want different things."

"But you worked so well through... Through Gemma's passing. That was stressful. How was this different?" Liam never really thought the two of them made a good couple, but he wants to be supportive no matter what. It also doesn't help that he's never been in a relationship since he identified as asexual.

"That was different, Gemma is my sister and I lost her. I needed someone there. A baby is- I allowed myself to believe I could love someone as much as her and now I don't even get that."

"How are you going to tell her?" Liam asks quietly.

"Haven't really thought past the I'm gonna break up with her bit. I'll think of something." At least that's what he'll tell Liam, he really doesn't know what he's going to do or what he's going to say.

Liam nods and looks to him. "You know that I'll support you no matter what you decide."

Harry nods, Liam and Niall have always been his cheerleaders. Even if they hate when Harry calls them that. "Yeah, I know."

"Perfect. Do you want a cuddle then? I know how tough this might be for you, but I'm sure you'll bounce back from it." Liam smiles at him, knowing that Harry would be alright in the end.

Rolling his eyes, Harry slowly sinks into Liam's side, things would be fine.

\------------

Louis had a few rules for himself. For example, one of his rules was that he only went the roof when he was completely sober and he was smoking only cigarettes. How he found himself on top of the dorm building in the middle of the day after smoking two bowls, he'll never know.

He was sitting on the ledge, feet dangling over the edge and swaying to and fro to the song in his head. He had been waving to people who were pointing at him, but that was boring as the crowd of students began to grow.

The door to the roof almost slams open, Harry rolls his eyes when he sees Louis. The smell of pot becoming increasingly more apparent the closer he gets. "Those idiots, I told them you weren't suicidal. Should have known you were just high."

"Harry!" Louis looks over his shoulder and cheers when he catches sight of his RA. "Come sit down! Everyone is pointing up this way so I'm trying to decide what they're pointing at."

"They're pointing at you, they think you're gonna jump." Harry grabs both of Louis' arms and drags him a couple feet back, that way everyone below will think the situation is neutralised

"Oi! What are doing? I was enjoying that." Louis looks up at Harry, pouting a bit when he realises that the younger looks a bit upset. "You should smoke a bowl with me. It would take away those worry lines."

Harry doesn't really know how to feel, he had just gotten through breaking up with Nadine when he got a call saying a student was on the roof ready to jump. He knows it's the right thing, breaking up with her but he's still monumentally upset. "You didn't answer me, are you going to jump off the roof?"

"That depends. Do you want me to?" He looks at Harry, staggering back towards the edge in case Harry says yes.

"What the fuck? No!" Harry grabs Louis by the collar of his shirt this time and tugs him back.

Louis just smiles and laugh. "It's like my mum used to ask me when I was younger. I used to think she was so crazy for asking me that." He goes easily when he's tugged and he stumbles forward into Harry's arms. "You smoke with me. I bet you'd be so good at it."

"I already told you no. Please just go back to your room so I can go back to mine." Harry wants to go mope again and Louis is preventing that.

"But it's so peaceful up here. It's like nothing matters when you're this high." Louis does a small twirl before loosing his balance and tumbling to the cement roof. "Besides, I'm not going to jump unless someone tells me to. You can go back downstairs if you really want to."

Harry's starting to get frustrated, "I can't if you don't. I'm an RA Louis I have to escort you to your room since you're 'suicidal' even if you're not. I'm sure as hell not gonna get in trouble because of you."

"Rules, rules, rules. That's all I ever hear from you. Don't you have fun? Don't you know there's more to life than just following orders?" Louis frowns and looks up at his friend from the ground. "I don't want to go back to my room. Niall and Zayn are in there."

"I just broke up with my fucking girlfriend, Louis. I'm not in the mood to fuck around." Harry snaps.

Louis is quiet as he lets that sink in. "You and Nadine? But what about... What about your daughter?"

"She's not pregnant. We went to the doctor's and it turns out she's not. Look can we just go inside, at this point we could go to my room for all I care."

Louis gets up from the floor suddenly feeling like Harry needs more comfort than he does. "That's so sad. I was going to go home this weekend and get all the baby clothes my mum still has and give them to you guys."

"Which is exactly why I didn't want to come and deal with this. It's been a shitty few days, I just want to go to bed." It's only like eight.

"Let's go down then. I'm going to cuddle you and make you feel better." Louis launches himself at Harry and clings to the boy's back. "She didn't deserve you anyway."

"It's more the other way around." Harry says, but he lets Louis get on his back.

"Don't give me that bullshit. You're a kind, caring, loving boyfriend and anyone would be lucky to have you." Louis presses soft kisses to the mountain of hair below him.

Harry smiles to himself, "I think you're a little too stoned, pal."

Louis just nuzzles his face further into the curls. "No such thing as too stoned."

Harry kicks the metal door open with his foot and carries Louis inside towards the elevator. Somehow he feels a tiny bit better.

\------------

"So then, my sister decides it would be a great idea to try to balance her water and ended up spilling it everywhere. I went through the rest of the day looking like I pissed myself." Louis says as the table breaks into laughter.

Niall is the loudest of them all, cackling as he grips at his sides. "Fucking hell, Louis. Your sisters sound like complete terrors."

"Why didn't you toss your pants in a dryer, mate?" Zayn asks, laughing with his boyfriend. 

Chuckling, Harry stands and gets his food card out of his bag, "looks like the line at the sub shop cleared, I'm gonna go grab something."

Kendall is there suddenly and glaring at the boy she hates so much. "Any particular reason my best friend is crying over your sorry ass? Is there a reason that you weren't willing to work things out?"

Harry furrows his eyebrows, looking at the girl defensively. "I'm sorry, but weren't you the one who told her to break up with me?"

"Yeah, but that's the thing. She's supposed to break up with you. She just went through something extremely traumatic and you decide she's suddenly not worth it? She was there for you after your birthday." Kendall hugs her binder close to her chest, anger building inside of her.

Liam frowns and steps between them. "Hey, that's none of your business. You aren't involved in that relationship so I think you need to just back off."

"Liam's right that's none of your business. My relationship with Nadine was never any of your business. If I think we're both better off finding other people that's my business." Harry says, growing increasingly more agitated.

"Besides, you're just jealous that he hasn't come crawling to your bed since breaking up with her." Niall crows from the table.

Kendall just scoffs. "Typical, Harry. Can't even fight your own battles. Your friends have to do it for you."

Harry laughs and looks at her, glad most of the cafeteria is silent watching them. "Typical Kendall, feeling entitled to know what's happening in everyone's lives. You didn't care about Nadine when you drunk texted me not once, not twice, but three times. How did they go again? 'I can show you what a real fuck is like' or was it 'I could fuck you better than that frigid bitch?' No wait, I think it was 'If Nadine won't gag on it I will.' Pretty sure you've sent me all three, but who knows? We could check the texts in my phone." 

He glares hard at her, hoping she gets that he's not fucking around. "I was a damn good person for not telling the person you falsely call a best friend that you're trying to whore yourself out to her boyfriend. I gave you the benefit of the doubt and I can see the mistake in that. I hope Nadine realizes what kind of nasty fucking snake you are, you classless bottom of the barrel bitch."

The silence in the cafeteria is thick. There's a clatter of silverware and every eye turns to the sound of a whimper that follows it. Nadine is standing in the buffet line, tray of food on the floor at her feet.

"You... You texted him that? You tried to..." She looks to Harry, face red in embarrassment. "God, I really know how to pick them don't I? My best friend and my boyfriend, gone within a week of each other."

Immediately Harry feels awful, he hates Kendall but his love for his ex outweighs that, he does care for her. "Nadine..."

Gigi puts an arm around Nadine's shoulders. "You're a vapid bitch, Kendall. If you come within fifty feet of Nadine I'll take your eyes out with my acrylics."

Nadine looks to Harry, tears starting to flow from her eyes. "It's not... I get it. I don't blame you.

Harry walks closer, hoping to get some semblance of privacy. "Do you want to go get ice cream and walk around the park? I know you love doing that."

"I... Yeah. I think we need to get some closure." Nadine swallows the lump in her throat and the 'I love you' is pushed down deep.

He goes back and grabs his bag from the floor by his seat nodding towards his friends. "I'll, uh, see you guys later."

Louis watches with sad eyes. "Check you later... Mate."

Harry hurries off to join his ex, hopefully he can at least turn her day around.

\------------

"The general form of most confidence intervals have the equation of the lower limit L of the interval = estimate - margin of error. For example, should driving with a handheld cell phone be illegal?" Harry has Louis' statistics textbook open, underlining the basic concepts with his pencil to show Louis.

It never crossed his mind that he'd have to tutor Louis at something, considering he's like a genius. Then again not even the university's tutors know how to do statistics, which is really saying something.

Louis stares at the book, not really comprehending anything that Harry was saying to him. "Should driving... Yes? What does that have to do with stats?"

"There was a poll conducted asking adults if it should be illegal to drive with a cellphone. Of the 1,027 U.S. adults randomly selected for participation in the poll, 69% thought that it should be illegal. The reporter claimed that the poll's "margin of error" was 3%. Therefore, the confidence interval for the unknown population proportion p is 69% ± 3%. Make sense?" Harry asks. Honestly he should have been a math teacher, it pays better.

"Not at all," Louis groans. He tosses his notebook to the floor and flops down on the bed. "Can we stop this? I fucking hate stats."

Harry laughs and nods, "yeah. I'm probably just unloading a lot on you."

Louis runs a heavy hand over his face. "I just don't understand why I need stats. I'm teaching science and all that stuff I can crunch in a computer."

"I don't know why I need to take a political science when I'm going to teach English to children who can't spell the word English yet anyway." It's the circle of education, learning pointless shit that'll never be applied in the real world.

Louis nods, understanding entirely. "I asked them why my electives had to be English and math based, but they never really gave me a definite answer."

Harry looks around like he's afraid someone will hear, "I think they just like making uni kids suffer."

"Of course they do. It's all part of their scheme to just get more money from us to make us take classes we don't need." Louis shrugs and rolls over so he can look at Harry. "Thanks for hanging out with me."

"I don't know if you can count this as hanging out," Harry teases, smiling afterwards. "I don't mind, you're not nearly as big of a twat as I thought you were when we first met."

Louis laughs and tries to bury his face in the comforter below him. "I was a right prick that day. Sorry, about all that. Just didn't want to leave Oxford I guess."

"I wasn't much better, we're friends now though." Harry grins.

"Of course we are! We're like... Tony and Maxxie from Skins, pre-bus crash." Louis tries not to think how he wants to be Jal and Chris, not Tony and Maxxie.

Harry laughs and nods, "pre-bus crash definitely. That reminds me, I picked up a couple of movies from a rental place if you want to watch any."

Louis shrugs and sits up once more. "Can't be any worse than doing statistics. What kind of movies do you have?"

"I've got Sleepless in Seattle, 500 Days of Summer, You've Got Mail, and Terminator 5." Harry says looking through the DVD's.

"Terminator 5 for sure. You can hear our theory about Nadine being an android from the future." Louis hates romantic comedies and the terminator sounds like the kind of feel good movie that he needs at that moment.

"You thought she was an android?" Harry laughs and pops the movie into his video player, using his remote to skip through the trailers.

“It was all Niall’s ideas really.”

Harry nods, hitting play. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"I'm sure we had a very sound argument, but I can't really remember what it was." Louis shrugs and sprawls out, head in Harry's lap.

Absently Harry runs his fingers through Louis' hair, watching the open sequence of explosions and metal robots.

Louis watches as the movie starts to pick up and the main characters are introduced before he quickly grows bored. He shifts around on the bed, trying hard not to dislodge Harry's fingers from his hair. "I love when guys play with my hair. Makes me feel safe and shit."

"Well," Harry pauses, "do you feel safe?"

"With you?" Louis looks up at him with a timid smile, "always."

"I'm really glad we pulled our heads out of our asses." Harry kisses Louis' forehead, something he does with both Niall and Zayn, only he may or may not linger a moment too long.

Louis can't agree more. His eyes slip shut softly as the want to just lean up and kiss his RA builds up inside of him. He catches himself though, reminding himself of the recent breakup. "Me too. Can't imagine trying to go through this year hating you."

They "watch" the rest of Terminator and manage to get halfway through 500 Days of Summer before Harry's yawning and stretching his arms. "Think it's time I head to bed."

Checking his phone, Louis sees that it's well past midnight and knows that he has to get up early for class the next day. "I think you're right. I'll fight you for the bed," he grins wickedly, ready to scrapple with the boy over something this trivial even though his bed is literally next door.

Laughing Harry says, "or we could share it? Unless that's too odd for you."

"N-no! I love cuddling. This will be perfect. I have only one question for you." He looks at Harry seriously. The answer to this question will determine everything for Louis. "Big spoon or little spoon?"

"I'm versatile," Harry says, "but I think I'll little spoon it. What's a quality friendship without a good cuddle?"

Smiling, Louis nods and quickly rids himself of his jeans and climbs into bed. "Perfect. I may like to be held down, but I like to smother others with my affection."

Standing up himself Harry drops his jeans and grabs the collar of his shirt, tugging it over his head. "I usually sleep naked so I hope you don't mind me in boxers."

"Not at all. I usually sleep in my boxers; I kept the shirt on to be polite." Louis grins brightly as he works on getting the shirt off of his body.

Harry gets into bed and pulls the chain on his lamp, getting under the covers.

Louis chuckles as he cuddles up closely to his friend. "If you wake up with something poking you, I apologise in advance. Morning wood ain't fun."

"I've woken up with Niall's dick pressed against my back for years." Harry says letting his hand cover Louis' own.

"That's... Not what I was expecting to hear." Louis nuzzles his face into the mass of curls. "You know, your height makes this so fucking hard.

Harry laughs, "you know Niall would say the same thing. Would you like me to shrink for you?"

"I know it's impossible, but if you would be so kind as to lose a couple inches I wouldn't be opposed." Louis smiles as he tries to koala himself around his RA.

Harry pulls his legs to his chest, "does that help?"

Louis laughs, tightening his grip on Harry's hand. "Not really. It's fine though. I just want to hold you no matter what."

Harry goes quiet, thinking. Letting his fingers slip between the spaces in Louis.' "Do you think... Do you think that if I hadn't been with Nadine and we hadn't gotten off to an awful start that we might've. I don't know had something?"

"I... I hope we would have." Louis yawns and rubs his thumb across the back of Harry's hand. "If I'm honest? We might have hooked up, but I don't think we would be friends or anything else. I'm glad it worked out the way it did though."

"Oh." Harry doesn't understand why he doesn't like hearing that but it's probably all Louis would have ever wanted. "Maybe wishful thinking on my part. You probably would have shot me down anyway then, but I probably would have asked you out."

There's a pause and Harry shifts, pulling the comforter over his shoulder. "Night, Louis."

Louis wants to say something to refute that statement, but he can't. He was so bitter and unpleasant back in the beginning of the year. He sighs softly, "night, Harry."

\------------

Niall's rummaging through his middle drawer, absently talking to himself while he tries to find everything he thinks he's going to need. Eventually he finds the bottle of clay mud masks he bought, Harry likes to exfoliate his skin and an at home spa day would probably do him some good. Niall's just hoping he'll have clear skin and be in a relatively good mood instead of crying tear tracks through the green paste. 

"Where did I put that foot scrub?" He heads to his closet and finds it under a pile of jeans, dropping that into the bag he has propped up on his bed. He's managed to get most of what he hopes will cheer Harry up into the rucksack, other than a few things he really wants to grab before he leaves. Harry's probably still asleep anyway it's only seven.

“Bloody hell. What the fuck are doing up this early?” Louis mutters as he rolls over to try and hide his face from the light and sounds of his roommate.

Niall turns from where he's going through his nightstand, smiling sheepishly. "Didn't mean to wake you, I'll try and be quieter. I'm not usually up at this time either I'm a little out of it."

"It's fine. I just stayed out late last night and I have to drive back to Donny later." He yawns and stretches as he sits up, rubbing his eyes to wake himself even more. "What are you doing anyway?"

"Gonna go see Harry; need to make sure he's alright today." Eventually Niall finds the pack of extra crazy straws and the pack of protein powder he had stowed away, adding that to his growing pile of things.

Louis watches as the blond finally slows down enough for things to focus in his shit vision. "You're packing an awful lot for just going down the hall."

"I've got to keep him distracted all today and probably tomorrow. His mind is like a basket of snakes, he never stops thinking." Niall goes back to his drawer and tosses a pair of basketball shorts and a shirt on his mattress.

"Basket of...? Nevermind, that's not important. Why do you need to keep him distracted?" Louis wonders what could be wrong that Harry needs a distraction.

Pausing, Niall tries to remember where he put his copy of Mean Girls. "It's his birthday."

"Why do you need- oh." Louis stops and looks at his bedspread as the information that Niall told him all those months ago sinks in. "Fuck."

"Yeah... Hey, if you were a book full of puns where would you be?" Niall asks until he remembers both the movie and the book are in his sock drawer. Normally he's more organized about this sort of thing.

The older of the two bites at his lip as he forms a half-cocked idea in his sleep deprived mind. "Do... Do you want me to distract him today? I mean, since he knows you know he might see through the whole distraction thing and turn you down. He doesn't know that I know so maybe... I could take him out or something?"

"Regardless he's going to know its a distraction, it is his birthday. You can try, it'll give me more time to set things up but don't be too hurt if he'd rather stay in his dorm." Niall still plans to be there, Harry is his best friend, but he can always distract him later tonight.

Louis nods and quickly pulls up his texts, shooting an apology to his mum about having homework and not being able to make it home. He then decides that maybe a nice lunch date and movie would be nice after a quick trip to the mall. That should distract him for long enough.

After showering and making himself look as presentable as possible, he finds himself outside his RA's door at eight thirty in the morning. Pulling himself together, he knocks and hopes that Harry answers quickly.

It's Liam that opens the door, mildly surprised to see Louis instead of Niall like he thought he would. "Oh, hey, Louis. You having a problem or something? I'm filling in for RA responsibilities today."

"Actually, I'm here to see Harry. I'm dragging him out to lunch and movie. Figured now was a good time since I don't have any homework and I just got paid."

"Oh," Liam says. Not really sure how to tell Louis it's not a good day. He could hear Harry's quiet whimpers through the wall since late last night. "I guess you can try, but he's, uh, he's not feeling well."

Louis bites his lip, trying not to give away the fact that he knows. "Thanks for the heads up. Can... Can I at least come in?"

If Harry gets upset he can kill Liam later. He leaves the door open and heads back to his spot on the sofa.

Louis smiles and heads inside, shutting the door behind him. He stops just outside Harry's bedroom door and takes a deep breath. He can do this.

Pushing the door open, he plasters a huge wide grin on his face and starts his cheerful routine he's used on his sisters before. "Good morning, love! We've got a lot to do today, so it's time to get up, up, up!"

Harry had just managed to fall asleep like ten minutes ago, his face dirty with the salt from his tears. He tries to put his head under his pillow. "I'm sleeping."

"Not anymore! You need to get up and ready. I'm taking you out today. Figured we could grab a quick bite and then go see a movie. I know how much you've been dying to see the new Sense and Sensibility movie." Louis can't stand Jane Austen, but it would make Harry happy so he'll suffer.

"Louis, it's not a good day." Harry says and he hopes his voice doesn't crack as much as he thinks it does.

Louis rolls his eyes and yanks the covers from the boy's body. "It's a wonderful day! Come on, Harry, I'm trying to take you out as something special."

Finally Harry looks at Louis with his swollen purple eyes and hopes he gets the picture. "Do I look like I want to go out?"

"Look, I don't know why you're upset, but give me a chance. I'll cheer you up, I'll pay for everything, I planned on being a perfect gentleman. I wasn't even going to kiss you till the end of the date." Louis looks a bit surprised at the words coming from his mouth. "I mean... Only if you wanted this to be a date."

Harry is silent for awhile, maybe being alone isn't the best way to spend today. Even if it's... Been one year since Gemma, it's also his birthday. "Give me ten minutes, I guess."

"Yeah. I'll... I'll be in the other room with Liam." Louis smiles brightly before heading out of the room to give the boy some privacy.

Fifteen minutes later Harry comes out with his freshly washed hair hanging around his face and a set of clean clothes on.

Liam looks up, a bit surprised to see Harry up and about today. "Oh, are you going out then? Didn't think you'd want to get out of bed today."

"I don't, but it's better than lying in the same spot all day I guess." He shrugs. He really, really wants to be stay in but he knows it's not healthy.

Louis falters a bit. "We don't have to go if you're really not feeling up to it. I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do."

Harry smiles softly, reassuringly. It's the first smile he's had in the past couple of days. "No, it'll be good. It's... It's my birthday."

"What? Now we have to go out! You get to pick everything! Where we eat, what movie to see, everything! Plus, I was going to suggest the mall before lunch and now you can pick out a present." Louis tries to sound shocked and like he's hearing that information for the first time.

Harry tries for a laugh, "yeah, alright. Should probably get going then."

"Bye, Liam! Have a wonderful day doing whatever it is that RA's do." Louis smiles brightly and grabs Harry's hand, threading his fingers with the younger male's own.

\------------

"You sure that's the movie you want to see? I know you're more of romantic-comedy type of movie goer." Louis looks at Harry with a questioning look.

Harry had picked out a simple book for his birthday present and a nice cafe for lunch, but picking an action movie seemed a bit out of place for him. Louis just wants to ensure this day is perfect for his friend.

"I just want to watch things explode with very little plot." Harry shrugs, heading up to the ticket counter.

Louis shrugs and follows, asking for two tickets to the movie that was due to start in fifteen minutes. With tickets in hand, he leads them inside. "I know we just ate, but do you want a snack or anything? I'll probably get at least a drink... Candy too. I'm a sucker for sugar."

"I'm not into sugar." Harry says, he prefers his health smoothies over soda for sure.

"Right..." Louis frowns at the candy display and looks back at Harry. "Let's head in then. I'm okay for now. Besides, the trailers will be starting soon enough and I like watching them more than the movie most times."

Harry picks a couple of seats near the middle of the theater, politely excusing himself as they pass by a couple of people, the theater is mostly empty thankfully.

Following behind the birthday boy, Louis takes his seat next to Harry and tries to get as comfy as possible. "The middle of the theatre? You afraid I'd try and make out with you in the back?" He's teasing, hoping that Harry will say it's a good idea after all.

"I just like the middle is all, the perfect seats." Harry shrugs.

Louis shrinks down in his seat a bit. He hopes Harry is enjoying himself, but he honestly can't tell. "I was joking. Just so you know."

Rolling his eyes Harry squeezes Louis' hand. "I'm not a homophobe, Louis. I'm not gonna get worked up over a joke you know."

"Wasn't worried about the homophobe part. Just wanted to sound respectful." Louis mumbles as the lights dim and the movie starts to play.

The movie is pretty dull, there's almost no substantial plot, even the explosions are pointless and boring. They're about halfway through when the main character's love interest is driving down a road only to sideswiped by a truck. 

Watching it, Harry feels like he's been hit by a truck. There are so many things racing through his mind. His chest aches and the muscles in his jaw tighten, the tears coming easily.

Louis feels something wet hit his hand and he looks over to see the tears on Harry's face. Frowning, he whispers, "Harry? You okay?"

"I-I need to go." Immediately Harry gets up and leaves the theater heading for the nearest exit, he needs air.

Louis sits there, dumbfounded, for a few moments trying to figure out what he did wrong. It's the sound of squealing tires that finally pulls him out of his own head. "Oh shit."

He bolts from his chair, apologising to the people he practically launches himself over in his haste. He hurries from the theatre and spots Harry across the way sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. "Do... Do you need anything? Water, maybe?"

Harry just shakes his head, he feels like he can barely breathe, like he could choke on it. "No-no I don't think I should."

"What can I do, Harry? Tell me how to make this better." Louis wants to help so badly, but he's stuck in that phase of sort of knowing what's happening but not being able to comment that he knows.

"I'm sorry," Harry eventually says trying to keep himself under control. "It's just that... It's not just my birthday today."

"What do you mean?" Louis pushes the boy's hair back from his face. "You need to speak to me, love."

"My, oh god, my older sister... She died last year on my birthday." Harry's voice breaks and the next sentence is barely a squeak, "she was my best friend, Lou."

Louis can practically feel the pain radiating from the boy in front of him. It's one thing to know something, but something else see the pain in the boy right in front of him. "Harry... I'm so sorry. Do... Do you want to go home? I can take you home."

Harry grabs Louis by the shoulders and pulls him down to his level, crying salt into his chest and repeatedly apologizing against his shirt.

"It's okay. Shhh, Harry. No one blames you. It's going to be okay. You've got a wonderful pool of friends around you that want to help you." Louis continuously whispers into Harry's hair and holds him close. "Niall was packing up face masks and foot cream this morning to come see you. You have so many of us who love you."

Eventually Harry's painful sobs turn to quiet, almost inhuman whimpers, his hands around Louis' arms. "I-I never got to say goodbye."

Louis pulls back to look at Harry. "I'm sure she knows that you love her and miss her. She's watching you and looking out for you."

Harry entire face aches from crying. He tries wiping away at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. "I probably look awful."

"You've never looked better." Louis says softly as he presses a kiss to the boy's forehead.

Harry looks at Louis for a long moment with red, tear swollen eyes. Without much of a thought he leans into Louis and kisses him.

Louis freezes, thinking that he needs to pull away before Nadine finds out. It takes a moment until he realises that Nadine is no longer a problem though and he's pressing himself into the kiss and running his hand up the back of Harry's neck to tangle his fingers in the curls.

After a few moments Harry pulls his mouth off, keeping their foreheads resting together, "shit I'm- I hope I didn't just read everything wrong."

"I've been wanting to do that for awhile now. I'm definitely glad you made the first move because I wasn't sure when you'd be over Nadine and I didn't want to seem disrespectful and..." Louis blushes as he realises he's rambling.

"I, well I couldn't ask you to be my boyfriend now, but things could be... Moving that way. If you wanted it to." Harry says.

Louis tries to contain his smile as he hears that word pass through Harry's lips in regards to him. "I'd like that very much, honestly."

Harry kisses the corner of his mouth. "Would- would you mind if we headed back to the dorm? I don't think I can go back in there, I'm a bit of a wreck."

"Come on. Maybe a cuddle when we get back if you're feeling up to it." Louis helps Harry to his feet, keeping their hands together even after the need is over. "Or I can let you be if you want sometime to yourself."

"You said Niall was packing mud masks and foot scrubs, you're free to join us but I'm gonna take him up on that offer."

Louis laughs before realising his RA was serious. "Oh no. I'm good. Growing up with five little sisters make me never want to see another beauty product again."

Harry laughs and shrugs, "my sister Gemma is the one who got me into them."

"You two will have a great time. Like I said, you've got plenty of friends who love you and want the best for you." Louis leads them out towards the car, kissing Harry's cheek once more.

"Thanks, Louis," Harry pauses trying to formulate the right words, "for trying. For being here right now."

The older just smiles. "Of course. Always."

\------------

It's about three in the morning when the fire alarm blares through the dorm building. Groaning Harry gets out of bed and pulls a shirt he had thrown over his desk chair over his head and slips on a pair of slippers meeting Liam out in their joint living room. "I'll evacuate the left side if you want to take the right."

Liam grunts as he stands there in his basketball shorts and hoodie. He's managed to slip a pair of trainers on and he's grabbing his keys while Harry opens the door. "Yeah. Fuck, that means I have to deal with Beiber. You're a sneaky little bastard."

Harry laughs with a sleepy edge in his voice. "That's definitely it, you caught me."

"Although, you have to deal with Tomlinson. He's a right bitch when he's cranky. I guess we're even." Liam yawns and holds the door open for his roommate before looking down his half to see boys in various states of undress shuffling out their doors.

Harry starts knocking on every door until he comes back down the corridor and knocks on Louis' last, figured he'd give him the extra two minutes.

The door swings open to reveal a very disheveled Niall. He's a bit flushed, but he's decent all the same. "Louis is out cold. He wasn't feeling well so he took some cold medicine. These drills are so inconvenient. Zayn and I were just getting to the good part of our sexting conversation."

"I don't need to know this time. You're gonna have to wake him you know. These things are mandatory," yawns Harry.

"Why can't you wake him?" Niall grumbles before heading back over towards his roommate and yanking on the boy's arm until he gets a groan in response.

Louis finally hears the alarm and rolls out of bed, grateful that he's decided tonight was a sleep pants and shirt kind of night. "I'm going to fucking kill whoever set this fucking alarm off."

"It's a drill," Harry says, using his knuckle to rub the sleep out of his eye.

Louis grumbles as he slips his vans on and grabs his Adidas jacket from his desk chair. "So it's the RD's fault then? Perfect, I'll kill them then."

Rolling his eyes Harry looks at Louis seriously and asks, "would it make it better if I gave you a piggyback ride?"

"I'm not saying it wouldn't," Louis says as another big yawn overtakes him. "I don't think the sleeping medicine is completely out of my system so I'll definitely be down for a piggyback ride."

Harry turns around and bends his knees, waving his hand behind him to signal Louis to climb on.

Louis wastes no time in securing himself on the taller boy's back and burying his face in the crook of Harry's neck. His voice is mumbled when he whispers a quiet, "perfect."

Harry grabs the back of Louis' thighs and hoists him up, heading towards the emergency stairwell. "This shouldn't take longer than like twenty minutes."

Louis groans. "Twenty minutes? I bet you have to do RA stuff to so I can't even stay on your back the whole time."

"Yeah. I kinda have to do a headcount and it'll be a little hard doing that with you on my back. Besides, I'm not strong enough to hold a person up for that long." Harry nods his head towards Liam who's holding the door open.

"Fine. Deliver me to Niall and I'll just yell and scream at the other students. It's cold and I'm tired which means I'm super cranky." Louis huffs as he can feel the air change temperature as they make it outside.

Harry heads to Niall and bends his knees, allowing Louis to slide off. "Alright, I gotta go do RA shit but I can piggyback you on the way back after this is over."

"I got him. You go do your stuff." Niall provides a shoulder to lean on for his roommate as Harry heads back off towards Liam.

Liam, who watched the whole thing, is looking at his friend suspiciously. "What was all that about with Tomlinson?"

Harry pretends like he doesn't know what Liam's talking about, tilting his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"A piggyback ride? Plus, I saw you intentionally skip their door. I thought maybe you heard Niall moving or something, but there's just too much pining on your face for Niall." Liam's got the third floor clipboard and guest log, running over the names to makes sure their floor is completely evacuated.

"So what, I give my friends piggyback rides, and I let them sleep an extra few minutes." Harry doesn't see the crime in that.

Liam frowns and looks to Harry with a slightly disbelieving look. "I may be asexual, but I can least tell when someone likes someone else. You got it hard for him, don't you?"

Blushing Harry shrugs and says the only thing he ever does when he's been caught. "Shut up."

"Got cha," Liam says with a huge smile on his face. He finished taking role and lets the rest of building get cleared before allowing the wave of students back into their home away from home. He grabs Harry's wrist though before the boy can escape. He looks both ways, like he's afraid someone is listening to them. "Are you up for another deeper conversation tonight?"

Harry's already awake anyway and he knows how much these talks mean to Liam. Niall might be his best friend but he's Liam's best friend. "Only if you make me hot cocoa."

"Always do," Liam says with a soft smile. "I'll let you say goodnight to Tomlinson and then I'll meet you in the room."

Nodding Harry heads back to Louis, who's standing alone waiting. Without a word he offers his back to him again.

Louis climbs back up onto Harry's back. "Driver, floor three please."

This time Harry takes the elevator, delivering Louis to his door. "We have arrived, sir."

"Perfect. What do I owe you, my good sir? Shall I pay you in kisses?" Louis presses a few to the boy's neck where his face is tucked away.

"I think one or three to the mouth will do." Harry smiles and turns around towards Louis.

Louis just smiles and happily gives Harry two quick kisses before letting the third linger for awhile. "Come inside and cuddle with me?"

Sighing Harry kisses Louis this time and mumbles against his mouth, "as much as I want to I promised Liam I'd have one of our deep talks. It's kinda our thing."

"Fine. Probably for the best anyway. I knock out hard on sleeping pills and I can't look cute while snoring." Louis pulls back and smiles at his RA. "Come and cuddle after class tomorrow. I'll even shave so there's no beard burn."

"I don't know. I like the little scratch, makes you look ruggedly handsome." He chuckles softly.

Louis huffs a small laugh before pressing kiss to Harry's lips. "Go see Liam. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright. Night, Louis." Harry squeezes his hand and heads into his room, seeing Liam pouring hot chocolate into two mugs.

Liam looks up and smiles at Harry. "Did you see lover boy to his door?"

"Maybe," Harry says collapsing back onto the sofa. "I'm so glad I don't have classes tomorrow, I'm passing out as soon as we're done here."

"I have a seven am, but I'm up now. I'll go to bed early tonight." Liam sits in the armchair next to the sofa and sips at his drink. "How do you know you love someone?"

Harry slowly drinks from his cup, dipping his finger into his whipped cream and sucking it off. "I don't really know. I don't think I've ever been in love per se."

"I mean... Being asexual, I don't really know what that pull feels like. I love my friends, but I'll never be able to have that special love for someone else." Liam looks at the ground. "When I saw you looking at Louis outside, there was something in your eyes I just didn't recognise."

"I'm definitely not in love with Louis- we haven't even dated. I do have a thing, a crush, on him," shrugs Harry.

Liam shifts in his seat, "I see it with Niall and Zayn sometimes too. It's just some intense emotion I can't recognise. With them, I see it even when they're just talking about the other, but now that you aren't with Louis I don't see it." He isn't really sure just how to put everything into words. "Do you ever wonder if like, I'm not wired correctly? I mean, I know being homosexual or transsexual or something is okay now, but I'm not attracted to anything. That's got to be a mistake, right?"

Immediately Harry shakes his head in the negative. "Mate there's nothing wrong with you. Sexuality is complex, sexuality is something you are, you can't help that you're not attracted to other people. There's no wrong sexuality."

"I get that in theory, but sometimes I wish I could just ask someone one on a date and get excited about the prospect. I feel like I'm missing out on a whole part of life without even really knowing it." Liam doesn't think he's making sense, but he's at his wits end about the subject.

"It's up to what makes you happy though, if you don't want to go on a date don't force yourself to."

Liam sighs and sips at his drink. He wishes it was easy. He wishes he could just take someone out without them hoping for another date. "I told my parents... They cried a bit."

Harry frowns, he knows that had been a huge concern for Liam leading up to it. "Hey they're wrong if they can't be supportive of their kid."

"I don't know if they're not supportive or what. I just told them and mum cried and dad said something about grandkids. It got really confusing really quick."

"Don't sweat it, like I said, everything depends on how you feel." Harry's really hoping he's helping.

Liam looks down at his drink, wondering how to say what he's thinking. "Do you ever... I don't know. I think they were expecting grandkids, but my sisters don't want any kids and I want a million. I could adopt, but even then I need someone to help raise them."

"How do you think single parents do it? I know you, you're intelligent enough to get a good career after this. If you want a kid have one."

"But adoption agencies always go for the happy couple. I don't know. What if I just find someone I know I could tolerate and treat right? It wouldn't be too bad, right? Which is better? Sex with a guy or girl?" Liam looks panicked for a moment. "Oh god. I don't even know how to have sex! It just never appealed to me!"

"Liam, calm down. You need to breathe. If you really want to know I can tell you." Harry says.

Liam tugs at his hair. He's so unsure of himself. "I... I don't know. I don't want to be a failure to my parents, but I don't want to be unhappy forever."

"I already told you," Harry pauses, "your happiness should come before someone else's. Whatever you can live with should be what you go with."

"I don't know how you put up with me sometimes." Liam still has a million and one questions, but he figured he should start by figuring out what he can live with.

Harry rolls his eyes and tosses an arm around his shoulders. "You're my friend, Li. You could murder someone and I'd help you hide- well actually probably not, but I would support you."

Liam smiles softly before leaning his head on his friend's shoulder. "So you and Louis...?"

Harry's face flushes pink. "We've got a thing, nothing like official but we kiss now."

"Do you want it to be a thing?" Liam looks pointedly at Harry knowing how the boy feels about casual sex. "Does he want it to be a thing?"

"I don't know last time we talked about it he said he would hook up with me but that's about it. I don't think he wants anything." Harry sighs, he knows he can only kiss Louis for so long until he's going to actually want something. "I do, I think. Not right now, Nadine is still a sore spot and I think it'd be unfair to her if I just jumped into another relationship. Eventually though..." Harry shrugs. Yeah he wants something with Louis, but he wouldn't push it on him.

"Just be sure to ask and don't assume that he doesn't want anything because of something he said in the past." Liam drains the last of his hot chocolate and stands. "Can I rinse your mug for you?"

"If you want." Harry hands his cup to Liam and sits back on the sofa. Maybe Louis does want something.

"Just don't wait too long." Liam grabs Harry's mug and heads off to wash it for them. He knows the two of them would be great together.

\------------

Niall's standing at the foot of the stage behind the metal barrier and the bar's few security guards. He's swaying his head to the beat with a pint in his hand, eyes glued on his boyfriend strumming the bass. Niall can feel the vibrations flow out under his feet, as cliche as it sounds this is always the point Niall feels closer to Zayn during any of his concerts. 

Anthony, their lead vocalist, calls a goodnight when the music ends and heads behind the curtain with the rest of the band. Niall heads backstage and holds up the badge hanging around his neck.

Zayn wipes the sweat from his face and flops down onto the couch. "That was bomb out there. I told you moving our shows closer to the college would get a bigger crowd."

The door to the dressing room opens and Niall peers inside with his hand blocking his eyes. Last time he walked in without warning he got a great view of their drummer fucking some groupie. "Is it a good time to come in?"

"Yeah! Babe, I'm so glad you're here. I thought you had a huge test tomorrow and couldn't make it!" Zayn is up off the couch as quickly as possible and pulling Niall into the room.

"Class got cancelled, guess the professor was selling hash on the side, got arrested in the middle of a lecture." Niall sits on the couch and waves to the others who are talking to their girls.

"I would have paid good money to see that," Anthony says with a laugh as he grabs another bottle of water. "Jon said he's picking up the equipment so you guys can leave whenever."

Zayn nods and looks to Niall. "Want to have a couple more beers together?"

Nodding Niall kisses Zayn's jaw and says, "as long as it's together I don't really care what we do."

"Come on," Zayn tugs at the boy's hand, "I'll buy you a few and get you home safe."

Niall follows his boyfriend out to his car, sliding into the passenger seat with ease.

Zayn starts to drive, wondering if drinks were really what he wanted. "We could skip drinks and head back to my place. Maybe smoke a bowl and get a little handsy..."

"Always the romantic," Niall teases but he grabs Zayn's hand over the center console. "Seeing you on stage gets me so... I want you to bend me over your amp and fuck me."

"Maybe next time. We're playing an underground strip club next week so I'm sure no one would mind." Zayn bites back a laugh and threads their fingers together. "How are classes going? Louis any cleaner yet?"

Niall immediately rolls his eyes. "I've lost hope, at this point I can only be thankful that it stays on his side."

Zayn looks over at his boyfriend and frowns. "Do you want me to say something? I'll get him to fix it."

"No, I've gotten used to it. It's honestly not a big deal anymore." Niall shrugs.

"If you're sure. I just know how much anxiety it gives you." Zayn raises their joined hands and kisses the boy's hand. "Do you need anything from your dorm? I didn't plan on having you come over so I don't have any clean clothes for you."

"As much as I want to say I'll just walk around naked, I do want to grab my toothbrush and retainer case."

Zayn smiles brightly. "I always forget about the retainer. Jesus, you're fucking cute."

Niall flushes red and rolls his eyes again. "While you think it's cute I think it's absolutely annoying."

"Nonsense. It's just one of your cute quirks that I love so much." Zayn changes lanes to turn onto campus and stops at a red light. He leans over and presses a small kiss to his boyfriend's lips. "Besides, with or without the restrained you're still the absolute cutest guy in town."

"And you're the absolute cheesiest guy in England." Niall leans over his seat and kisses Zayn a little longer.

Zayn lets the kiss linger till someone behind them is honking at them for sitting through a green light. He pulls back, chuckling. "Come on, we're almost to the dorm. Then we can chill on your bed and make out before heading to mine."

"If you keep kissing me making out isn't the only thing we'll do." Niall tries for a subtle wink but ends up closing both eyes, he does not understand how smooth Zayn can be about it.

The loud laugh that fills the car as Zayn turns is filled with love and affection. "You really need to learn how to wink. You're almost as bad as Liam."

Niall scoffs, getting out of the car once they're parked. "Guess it's just one of my cute quirks."

"Of course. Your cute quirks and your ass is why I love you so much." Zayn gets out and heads around the car to make sure he's always at Niall's side.

Automatically Niall weaves their fingers together, letting Zayn lead them towards his dorm and up to his room. They talk about random things, mainly Zayn complimenting Niall about things Niall thinks he doesn't need to be complimented over.

"And then there's your hair. I know you're not a natural blond, but the golden colour looks amazing on you." Zayn smiles as he leans against the wall next to Niall's door.

Niall keys the door and heads in, stopping when he sees the sight before him, everything is spotless, or at least becoming spotless. 

Harry's at Louis' desk organizing his school supplies. "Everything needs a place, once you find a place for everything it'll be easy finding things."

"This is hard! Stats would be easier than this." Louis is on his bed, looking at a pile papers and throwing what isn't important away. "I don't get how you can keep everything so clean. It feels almost sterile."

"It's just a habit you learn." Harry says smiling when he looks up and sees the couple at the door. "Oh! Hey, you two."

Zayn looks about at the clean space and smiles. "Looks great in here. I didn't know there was floor in here on Louis' side."

"Oh, ha ha." Louis rolls his eyes before looking sheepishly to Niall. "I know how much you hate messes and clutter, and I can't promise an immediate change, but I'll try my best to keep my side organised."

Niall grins. "Louis, I was about ready to have an anxiety attack every time I looked at your side of the room. This means a lot."

Louis smiles brightly before looking at Harry, the fondness overflowing in a single look. "Well, Harry told me how much it truly bothered you and helped me organise. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be."

Harry shrugs and smiles back at Louis. "Yeah, but you wanted to clean. We're a good team."

Zayn looks between the two, a small look of understanding on his face. "Are you two...?"

"Are we what?" Harry asks. Unsure about Zayn is trying to get at.

Louis frowns before his eyes widen. "Oh! No, no, no. You have it all wrong."

"Do I now?" Zayn crosses his arms, amused by the two boys in front of him.

Harry catches on a moment later. "Yeah, you do. We're just friends who kiss sometimes. Completely normal."

Zayn can't help the wide grin that takes over his face. "Oh, so there's kissing involved?"

"Niall," Louis whines as he grows too impatient with this topic. "Get your boyfriend to stop being so embarrassing."

Niall pulls at Zayn's shirt sleeve. "Alright, dad. Let’s grab my things and leave them to kiss... Sometimes."

Louis groans and flops back onto his bed. "Get out. Go play house with your boyfriend. You two sicken me."

"We've been told we give people cavities." Niall goes and grabs his bag out from under his bed and starts to grab what he needs.

"It does look good in here though." Zayn says as he watches his boyfriend bend over to get under his bed.

Harry raises an eyebrow, "are you talking about the room or...?"

Niall heads to his desk and picks up his toothbrush adding that to his small pile of things.

"Both, of course." Zayn says with a grin.

Louis rolls his eyes. "Okay, okay. Leave so we can cuddle in peace."

"Alright, alright let's go before they start 'cuddling' in front of us." Niall pretends to gag, grabbing Zayn's hand and pulling him out into the hall.

Zayn chuckles as they make it to the hall door. "So those two? Did anyone see Harry falling for him?"

Niall smiles and shrugs. "Harry needs someone like Louis, I guess it was a matter of time. They only disliked each other because they were the same person basically.

"Do you think he's over Nadine yet? I know it was over a month ago, but she was all he had after the accident." Zayn takes Niall's hand in his and swings them lightly as they head out of the building.

“I don’t know. It’s hard to say. She meant a lot to him but-”

“He can’t be in love with Louis if he’s caught up on Nadine.” Zayn ponders.

Niall laughs, "babe, I think in love is a bit strong. Infatuated for sure."

Zayn hums as he opens the car door for his boyfriend. "I guess. Well, I know I love you so that's all that's important."

Niall wraps his arms around Zayn's neck and kisses him deeply. "I love you too. Always."

"Come on," Zayn whispers as his hands drift down to grab hold of his boyfriend's ass. "I just want to get you home and naked."

"You've got a backseat," Niall jokes, turning around and wiggling his bum as he climbs into the car.

"Don't tempt me." Zayn mutters as he climbs into the driver's seat. He really does love his boyfriend.

Niall only laughs and leans over the center console to kiss him. Honestly he doesn't think he'll ever be able to love anyone more.

\------------

Louis laughs as he grabs his stuff for the showers. Niall had wiped out on his scooter and now had a huge bruise on the side of his face and Louis thinks it's hilarious. He listens to Niall for a few more minutes before excusing himself for the showers.

It's nearing one in the morning and he hopes no one is in the bathroom. He likes to have his showers be private- even if he's not rubbing one out. It's his alone time and he treasures the peace and quiet.

Harry's standing outside of a shower stall, stripping his boxers off his body and folding them, sitting them on top of the rest of his clothes by the bathroom counter. Normally he takes one earlier but he had been up to his nipples in RA shit and this was the first bit of alone time he's had.

"We have to stop meeting like this," Louis says as soon as he spots the backside of his RA. He hangs his towel up quickly and starts to strip himself down. "People might start to get the wrong impression."

Harry laughs and looks over his shoulder towards Louis, "I think you just follow me to the showers, this is the second time."

"While I do appreciate the view, don't flatter yourself. I always take showers this late. Usually no one is in here." Louis manages to get his shirt and shorts off and starts to push his boxers down without a care.

"I've seen you look at my ass even when I'm not naked." Harry teases, pulling the curtain back on the shower, "only at this time? Do ya not want people to see your dick? Is it sad?"

Louis gives a smirk and pushes his boxers to the ground. "I mean, I think it's pretty nice. But what do you think? You like what you see?"

Looking his way, Harry waggles his eyebrows and winks. "Well, that's definitely not the problem then."

"If I recall correctly, yours was pretty nice too. Wanna shower together and compare?" He winks at the younger boy, half joking and hoping.

"I mean," Harry says and pauses like he has to think about it, "I can't entirely reach my back when I shower anyway. You'd be doing me a service really."

Louis grins and grabs his supplies before crowding up against Harry in the shower stall. He reaches behind the other, pressing him against the tiled wall and turning on the water to hot. "Let's get it steamy in here, shall we?"

"I know a few ways to get it steamy without the water." Almost immediately Harry starts to laugh. "Oh god. This sounds like an intro to a porno."

Louis chuckles and leans down to kiss Harry quickly. "We'd make a pretty hot couple on camera."

Harry nods opening his shampoo bottle. "Do you want me to wash your hair or do you think you got it?"

"I can think of a few other things we could do with our hands first. Why wash up and get sweaty all over again?" Louis hopes he isn't crossing any boundaries, but he really wants to touch.

Biting his lip Harry tosses his shampoo bottle onto the ground. "God, you're so fucking sexy."

Louis grins and leans in kissing at the lips he's become so accustomed to tasting. His hands find their way to the curls on instinct and he feels like he belongs here. "You really think I'm sexy?"

"The sexiest. Don't think anyone other than you can get me so hard so fast." Both of Harry's hands envelop Louis' jaw, kissing him back a little harder.

The sound that comes out of Louis' mouth is a whine. "Can... Can I touch you? Or are you still, uh, worried about Nadine?"

"Who?" Harry's eyes are glazed and dilated, his cock pressing solidly against his thigh. "I mean, it's been awhile. We've both moved on."

"I'm taking that as a yes then," Louis lets his hand wander down the younger's body, tracing over the swallow and other tattoos as he goes. He kisses at the taller man’s throat as he hesitates at the top of Harry's hips. "You sure?"

Rolling his eyes Harry wraps his hand around the base of Louis' dick. "I don't know; let me think about it."

"Fuck," Louis' voice is a bit rougher than normal as the arousal spikes through his body. His cock is mostly hard already and any slight touch from Harry has him twitching with anticipation.

Harry presses Louis' back solidly against the shower wall, the overwhelming hunger to just fucking devour Louis settling in. He pushes his tongue past Louis' lips and starts to work his hand, the other one grabbing Louis' hip so tight he'll probably leave marks.

Louis moans into Harry's mouth as he can feel the fingertips pressing hard against his skin. He pulls back, gasping for air. His eyes are shut tight as he starts to feel the pleasure inside him. "Mark me, Harry. Need everyone to know that you saw me like this."

Trailing his lips from Louis' mouth down to his throat, Harry latches onto his slippery wet skin. Sucking a nice, overwhelming love bite into his neck.

"Harry," Louis can't seem to think much past the curly haired boy's name. His mind is running a mile a minute as his body tries to get closer to the source of pleasure.

"Could fucking cover you in hickeys, everyone would know you aren't to be touched." Harry growls, continuing his line of love bites down Louis' throat.

He's so close. He can feel the pleasure building up inside of him and he knows he isn't going to last much longer. "Can... Can you hold me down? Like pin both my wrists above my head with one hand? I just... I like feeling helpless and giving you all the control."

"Jesus yes." Harry gets both of Louis' wrists and holds them against the tile wall above his head, brushing his cock up against Louis' for some kind of friction.

"Fuck, Harry!" Louis is right there, right on the edge. He whines at every touch to his body and Harry's grip around his wrists gets steadily tigger with every stroke of his hand. "I can't... Fuck, I'm going to come. Can I come, Harry? Please?"

"Come all over my fucking face if you want." Harry moans somewhere in the back of his throat. 

It's right around then that Kendall leaves a guy's room that she had just finished getting laid, when she passes the communal showers just to hear two guys that are definitely fucking.

Louis moans and can feel his body tension snap as Harry tells him to come. He's whining and pulling at Harry's hold on his wrists knowing that there will be perfect bruises there in the morning. His cum streaks across Harry's lower torso and is quickly washed away by the water. "Fucking hell, Harry."

Harry smiles and kisses Louis softly, letting his arms go. "You want me to clean you up, Lou?" 

Immediately Kendall looks scandalized, hurrying off down the corridor.

Leaning in, Louis presses his lips against Harry's own and practically melts into Harry's arms. "I want to return the favour."

Harry nods his head probably a little too eagerly. "Yeah, alright. Didn't want you to feel like pressured."

"Trust me, I want to do this." He smirks and grabs Harry by the wrists, placing his hands in his hair. He sinks to his knees and looks up at his RA, "This will be an orgasm you won't forget."

Honestly Harry's eyes could fall out of his head they widen so fast, he's never had anyone go down on him. "Christ."

"This okay? I know you said you were over her, but if I'm moving too fast..."

"Please continue," Harry doesn't even care if he sounds the least bit desperate.

Louis smiles warmly and leans in to press a kiss to the crease where the thigh and hip meet. "You can pull my hair or control how fast I go. It's just... You use my mouth to figure out how you like it, yeah? Fast, slow, deep, quick, focus on the head, play with your balls... Just tell me and I'll do it for you. Better yet, order me to do it."

"I'm not like an expert when it comes to blowjobs, it'll probably just be instinct." He threads his fingers through Louis' wet hair plastered to his face.

"Like I said, use me to figure out what you like." Louis reaches out and runs his hand over the hard cock in front of him. He smiles softly and grasps the base of it firmly before licking at the building precum and water on the head.

"Oh my god," Harry very nearly choked on his spit, "oh my god."

Louis chuckles and holds back his comment, wanting to tease Harry a bit but knowing how overwhelming a first blowjob is. He kisses the tip before pushing down around Harry's cock and filling his mouth with the younger's dick.

Harry's back hits the wall and his legs almost give out from under him. "Your mouth is fucking magical."

Louis tries not to preen under the compliment since Harry has never had a blow job before, but it's hard not to. He's been given compliments before, but Harry's seem truly genuine. He pulls back, a string of spit connecting him to the younger's cock.

Groaning Harry tries to follow Louis' mouth, involuntarily thrusting forward. "I'm gonna bust."

"Come inside my mouth. I want to make sure I taste you properly." Louis wraps his hand around the base to hold the appendage steady while he ducks his head once more to take the boy into his mouth.

It takes Harry a couple of minutes before he's pushing his cock further down Louis' throat and coming. "Louis!"

The older gags as Harry pushes himself well past what Louis is comfortable with. The tight grip on his hair makes it nearly impossible to pull back to get any air to breathe.

Once he is able to breathe again, he coughs viciously needing to clear his lungs and take in as much air as possible. He looks up at Harry, a weak smile on his face. "I take it you liked your first blowjob?"

After Harry regulates his breathing he covers his face with hand. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry! Did I hurt you?"

"You're fine. Next time, just don't shove your cock in my throat. We'll work our way up to that though, don't worry." Louis stands, rubbing at his knees as the ache starts to settle in. "We should do that more often."

Harry grabs the back of Louis' thighs and lifts him up until his legs wrap around Harry's hips. "Why don't you come back to my room? We can cuddle and watch Netflix."

Louis smiles brightly and kisses the boy happily. "Sounds like a perfect plan."

Harry shuts the shower off and carries Louis out of the shower stall, letting him stand on the ground to towel himself off. Harry stands back and watches him for a long moment, it's the first time in awhile he feels genuinely happy.

\------------

Nadine had been doing her best to get over Harry, watching shitty rom coms between her volunteer shifts and eating ice cream when she wasn't in class, the typical treatments after a breakup. Gigi has been a big help, trying to get her back out there even if Nadine is still reluctant to do so. So when Kendall, who she hasn't spoken to since the cafeteria incident, came by her room to tell her that she overheard Harry in the shower with Louis, it really hurt her. Harry probably not only moved on, but Louis is probably the reason Harry even ended it. 

She gets dressed as presentable as she can, heading up to Harry's room on the floor above her's, knocking on the dorm door.

Louis giggles as Harry's hair tickles at his collarbones. The kisses make him feel so safe and loved. "Stop! I'm super ticklish there!"

A knocking on the door stops everything for a moment. "I'll get it! That way you can stop tickling me." Louis rolls out of bed and pulls his boxers on before heading to the door and opening it.

Whatever words Nadine had ready die on her tongue. She looks at Louis standing there in his underwear and notices the bruises on his hips and arms. "So it is true."

"Oh! Nadine... Did you want to talk to Harry? I can get him for you." Louis stands awkwardly in the doorway looking for his shoulder.

"So what are you two dating then? Bet you had a right fucking laugh behind my back when he broke up with me didn't you?" Nadine is never one to be rude, but she's hurt and she's jealous and emotional.

Louis frowns, not sure where this hostility is coming from. "What? Nadine, we're not dating. We just... Let me get Harry for you."

Harry's lying in his bed impatiently. "Babe, what's taking so long?"

Nadine pushes past Louis and storms into the room. "You motherfucker! Were you doing stuff with him behind my back?"

"Nadine?" Harry sits up, totally confused and completely blindsided. "Nadine, what the hell?"

"Kendall told me all about your fun times is the shower with... With that fuck up. Just be honest. Were you hooking up with him while we were dating?" She can't help the anger and hurt that's been building up inside of her. It makes her feel so... Unappreciated. She's sure that she's dropped more swear words in this conversation than the last two years of her life.

"Of course not! I've never cheated on you I'm not that kind of person. Why would you believe a word that comes out of that trash bag's mouth?" Harry wishes he had more clothes on so he could go and talk to Kendall himself.

Nadine crosses her arms and looks angrily at her ex. "Really? You never cheated on me? You never thought about him in a sexual way? You never kissed him? You never wanted him in any way more than a friend?"

Harry pauses, it was only once but Nadine looks like she's going to bite his head off if he isn't totally honest with her. "I was really fucking drunk, out of my mind, and I kissed him. I barely remember it even happening, I wouldn't have done it sober."

"You... You really did cheat on me? Oh god. I thought that I was being irrational and angry, but... You actually..." Nadine looks back at Louis, completely wanting to hate him.

"It wasn't his fault Naddy, he pushed me off. I felt scummy afterwards, I didn't and I still don't want to hurt you." He's hoping the use of her nickname might calm her down.

She can feel the tears welling up in her eyes. "Was I not good enough for you? Fuck, Harry, what happened? I was there through the whole Gemma ordeal. I helped you move on, or at least I tried, and you couldn't even tell me that you wanted him or me!"

"I didn't breakup with you to be with someone else, we just weren't a good fit anymore. You're a hell of a person and any guy will be lucky to have you. I just can't be that guy."

"Jesus. Why are you so nice? I'm basically calling you a whore and him a home wrecker." Nadine cries a little harder and slumps to the floor in exhaustion. "I'm just not over you yet."

Harry looks at Louis then climbs out of bed and onto the floor, pulling Nadine into his arms. "I'm so sorry, I never wanted to put you in a situation like this believe me. I'm always gonna be here for you, not in the way you want, but you'll always be able to come to me for anything."

Louis looks around the room and feels like he's intruding on something he shouldn't be allowed to see. Checking the hall and seeing it was clear, he heads to his room to give the two their privacy.

Nadine cries into his shoulder a bit more. "It's just not fair. It's been two months. Why am I not over you?"

Honestly Harry doesn't know, he thought she would have been over him too. "You... Well you did say you were in love with me."

"Does that mean you never really loved me? I know you never said it... But I just sort of assumed that you did love me and were too scared to admit."

"I loved you but I wasn't," Harry pauses he really doesn't want to pain her anymore than he has, "I wasn't in love with you."

Nadine shuts her eyes as more tears fall. "I'm sorry I barged over here. I don't know why I believe Kendall, especially since I found out about the texts from her."

"It's alright, love. If yelling at me helps then I can set aside an hour for you to scream at me." Harry says brushing her tears off her face.

"Did I interrupt anything? I didn't mean to just yell at him." She looks at him and then looks over for Louis. "I saw the bruises... Did you guys, uh, you know...?"

Harry shakes his head negatively, awkwardly. "No. You know how I feel about doing that outside of a relationship."

"So... The bruises?" She tries to sound nonchalant about everything.

This is getting increasingly weird talking to his ex about his sex life. "I mean I got him off, he uh. Jesus this is weird, he likes it on the rougher side."

"Oh," she blinks. "Maybe we should switch topics... Or I could just go. I don't want to make things any more awkward between you guys."

"It's up to you, love." Harry lets his arms fall so she can properly sit up.

Nadine wipes at her eyes. "I'm going to go. I don't think... I don't think I'm ready to be friends just yet. It's still hurts."

"I completely understand. When you are, I'll take you out for lunch." Harry walks her to his door.

"You need to lock him down, Harry. If he likes you as much as I think he does and still pushed you away when we were together... He's a keeper."

Harry smiles thoughtfully towards her. "You're completely right."

Nadine smiles softly and leans in to kiss his cheek. "Bye, Harry."

"Bye, Nadine." He smiles and watches her walk away. What a fucking roller coaster of a morning.

\------------

It's a fairly normal Saturday afternoon. Zayn and Niall have just returned with everyone's lunch orders while Harry hooked up his laptop to the flat screen in his dorm to stream some new Michael Bay movie Liam picked out.

"Grilled chicken for Liam; skinny burger for Harry; triple meat, cheese, and bacon for Niall; chicken tenders for me; salad for Louis." Zayn pulls all of the food out and distributes it among the circle of friends.

Liam takes his food with a smile. "How much do I owe you?"

Niall waves Liam off, "it's our turn to buy. You bought us food last Saturday." 

Harry sits back on the sofa next to Louis making a space between his legs in case Louis felt the need to sit between them.

Louis smiles as he settles between Harry's legs. "Thanks, guys. Harry and I will buy next Saturday." He reaches forward to grab the two orders.

"What the hell is that on your wrist?" Zayn asks as he sees the dark bruise around Louis' wrist. "Did you get jumped?"

Harry's entire face drops, he almost forgot about the bruising on Louis' skin. He stays quiet, Louis can answer this one.

"It's, um, well..." Louis pales as he looks around the circle of friends. "They're from a good night."

Liam tries not to smirk. He had walked into the room early that week to see Harry and Louis cuddling on a bed together so he can only guess Harry knows where they came from. "A good night? Bet Harry could use one of those."

"I get by," Harry shrugs and opens his box to get his order out. 

"Oh my god," Niall laughs suddenly having pieced it together, "you bunch of fucking freaks." 

Harry glares and looks at his best friend. "Like I didn't see those bruises on your ass cheeks last week, pal."

"So you guys are fucking? Finally! That sexual tension was starting to stifle everything." Zayn laughs as he watches Louis' face constantly switch between pale and deep pink.

Liam smiles, hiding his glee behind his cup. "Harry's been strutting around like a peacock for the past week. He's definitely been getting some."

Niall laughs wildly and sits by Liam, leaving enough room for Zayn to sit on his right. "He always ruffles his feathers whenever he gets laid, like he's just stormed a castle or something."

Zayn nods. "Remember before he started dating Nadine? He'd play the sympathy card and everyone would swoon. He'd pick someone and they'd start messing around."

"And Harry would always say he wasn't quite ready for a relationship, but maybe kissing would be okay. It would slowly start escalating until finally they slept together and then Harry would ditch them and start all over again." Liam laughs loudly as he thinks back to the very beginning of college.

Harry's face flushes. It was a time before Gemma's passing had put things into perspective for him. He got stoned or drunk, usually both and he had sex. This usually happened like five times a week. "You guys always know the right things to say." 

"What was it he would say? We just kiss sometimes? Then it's we just get off together sometimes. Harry was a right animal." Niall's abdomen hurts from laughing.

Louis frowns as he thinks back to all the things that had come from Harry's mouth since his birthday. He feels sick to his stomach when he realises that he's being fed the same lines as all of Harry's other sexual partners.

"At least we got our Harry back. Monogamy looked super weird on you." Liam sips at his tea, hoping that the usual disdain for Nadine wasn't apparent in his voice.

Honestly Harry doesn't really like what his friend's have to say. He feels like they're making him out to be a manipulative heartbreaker. "You know what? I've got homework; I'm gonna go do that." He kisses Louis' ear and climbs out from behind him heading to his room.

Louis waits until Harry is completely gone to stand up. "I'm just... Sorry. He and I need to talk." He hurries into Harry's room, uncertain of what to really say once he's there. "Harry?"

Harry's lying back on his bed looking up at the ceiling at his star and planet stickers. "Yeah?"

"What are we doing? I mean, I know we kiss sometimes and now we... We get each other off sometimes, but what are we?" Louis doesn't want to be hurt all over again.

"Well, I'm not really ready to jump into another relationship." Eventually Harry would like to, yeah, but it's just too soon.

Louis' heart breaks a bit as Harry basically says exactly what the other three said he would. He swallows the lump in his throat and hopes his next words come out in a joking manner. "Oh... You're not going to just have your way with me and leave me right?"

Harry looks incredulously at Louis, "do you really think that little of me? I'm not going to just fuck you and move onto someone else."

"Well how am I supposed to know! I didn't know you before Nadine and everything these guys are saying you would do to pull is what you're saying to me." Louis doesn't want to fight, but he's got to protect his heart when it comes down to it.

"I don't know it's just what I say! I'm not trying to screw you so I can screw you over. I'm not that kind of person and for you to even consider it is hurtful." Harry says.

"I've got to look out for myself," Louis says adamantly. "If you're not ready for a relationship, then I think we should stop everything we do together in private."

"So you do believe them? Some friends you all are. I'm glad to know how you all really feel about me." Harry gets up and walks Louis out of his room. 

He's absolutely livid, he hasn't done anything to really deserve this treatment? It's been over a year since he did any of the things he's been accused of. He looks at his 'friends' on the sofa. "You all fucking suck. Nice to know how low your opinions on me as a person are. Don't bother me." With that he slams the door in Louis' face and locks it, he's not dealing with this.

Niall rolls his eyes, unbothered by his best friend's dramatic flair. "He'll be fine in a few hours. He did this all the time back in secondary."

"I'm just going to head back to my room. I'm not really feeling well all of the sudden." Louis tries to fake cough in his hand to make it all look less suspicious.

"Yeah, we'll see you next Saturday hopefully." Zayn says.

\------------

"It been over a hundred hours since he's talked to us. I've never give this long without him before. It's weird." Niall pouts as he looks over at all the group gathered before him.

"I thought he was just being dramatic but now I'm just sad," Liam says. He rooms with Harry and Harry hasn't talked to him or any of the guys since last Saturday.

"What if... He obviously won't talk to us. What if we get someone else to talk to him for us?" Niall says as he picks at his pizza.

Zayn swallows the food in his mouth and asks, "alright but who do you think he'll talk to?"

"The only person he's not completely mad at or just broken up with is Gigi." Niall thinks through their circle of friends and the extended friends to think of anyone.

Louis just shrugs and looks up from where his head is resting on the lunch table. "Good luck. You ask him a reasonable question and he gets angry and just starts yelling."

Nodding Liam looks around until he spots Gigi, thankfully alone, in line getting a smoothie. When Gigi passes by Liam call her name and waves her over. 

Confused, Gigi is slow to approach, they haven't really talked to her since the breakup. "Hey, uh, everyone."

"We have a huge favour to ask of you." Niall jumps in, wanting to get this all over with so he can have his best friend back.

Gigi raises one perfectly plucked eyebrow. "I don't strip at parties. I don't how many times I have to tell people this."

"No, we- wait. What?" Louis frowns and looks at the girl.

Niall rolls his eyes and looks up at the girl. "Good thing we aren't looking for a stripper then. No, we need you to talk to Harry."

That surprises a look on her face. She looks pointedly at Niall. "Why? Aren't you his bff or whatever?"

"Apparently we're in a bit of a tiff right now. We need some help finding out why. You up for it?" Niall doesn't have time to waste on backstory.

Gigi looks at her watch and shrugs. "Geordie Shore doesn't come on for another few hours anyway. I have time to kill."

Louis shrugs. "He's in his room if you want to talk to him. Good luck though."

"I'll text you if he talks," Gigi says looking at Zayn. She waves to the others and heads off with her blended smoothie.

Zayn nods and pulls out his phone to turn the ringer on. "Well, at least we got that taken care of."

Niall can't help but look at his boyfriend. "Why does Gigi have your number?"

"She's a customer. Plus, sometimes she doesn't want to smoke alone. We'll just chill together." Zayn doesn't see the big deal in having Gigi in his contacts.

"When do you guys even smoke together? You're hanging out with me when you're on campus." Niall is getting a little unsettled.

Zayn frowns. He doesn't understand why this is such an issue. "She comes to my apartment sometimes. I don't really understand why you're so upset about this. She's a client first, then a friend."

Niall shrugs, "oh just you know... You like girls too and you're hanging out alone with a girl and I, your boyfriend, had no clue about it."

"I don't say anything when you hang out with just guys. Are we in the jealous phase of the relationship still?" Zayn doesn't get it at all. They're just friends.

"I hang out with Liam and Harry. Liam isn't gonna fuck me and Harry and I already have. My problem isn't even that you want to hang out with an extremely attractive girl, but the fact that I had absolutely no idea." Niall maybe letting the jealousy talk but it feels justified.

Zayn frowns. "Whatever. We'll talk about this later."

"Of course, because you never want to talk about problems when they happen. Whatever I have class." In thirty minutes, but Niall really doesn't want to sit here. He gets his things and leaves.

Louis looks at Zayn. "You're in deep shit."

"I just don't get it," Zayn shrugs and looks to his phone. He wonders if should text Niall or wait it out.

Liam shakes his head. "One problem at a time? Figure it out after Gigi talks to Harry."

\------------

Gigi tosses her empty styrofoam cup in the trash can on her way to Harry's room. She stops in front of his room number and taps her knuckles against the door. 

It takes a few minutes but Harry answers the door, surprised. "Oh... Hey, Gigi? Uh, if you're looking for Nadine she's not here."

"Cut the bullshit. I'm coming in." She pushes him into his own room before stepping in and shutting the door behind her. "As you know I'm not particularly fond of you right now since you broke my best friend's heart, but why the fuck are you alienating your friends too?"

Harry rolls his eyes. "Oh I get it, who told you to come here? Niall? Liam?"

"Actually, it was Zayn. You are ridiculous. You need your friends. And, as much as I hate saying this, you need Louis." Gigi crosses her arms impatiently as she stares the boy down.

"I'm sick of the way they talk about me, they act like I'm some manipulative asshole. You should have seen the look on Louis' face, like he thinks I'm going to crush him. I'm not going to idly sit there while they fling insults about me." Honestly Harry doesn't think that's too much to ask for.

Gigi looks unimpressed as the boy continues to talk. "Were they insulting or commenting on the old you? Before Nadine, you were a massive asshole that manipulated people into sleeping with you. And what the hell does Louis have to do with that? He didn't know you before then."

"Because now Louis doesn't even want to kiss me-" Harry stops, he wasn't really counting on telling other people about Louis until they were a thing. "He doesn't even want to look at me now. And no it wasn't just about the way I was, Liam himself said he was glad to have the old me back. Sounds like he's not just talking about the past."

"You were a submissive, whipped boyfriend. Until Gemma... Until the accident, you still had a spark. I don't think Liam missed the behaviour so much as he missed the fight and personality." Gigi rolls her eyes and climbs into his bed since her heels were starting to hurt. "As for Louis, he has a right to be worried. He only knows the whipped you. And, I guarantee, you probably said something that made him worried."

"All I said was I wasn't ready for a relationship, but I've been saying that since we started our thing. It's not anything new." Harry shrugs.

Gigi sighs and can feel her face soften. At least he still cares about Nadine and he actually had feelings for her. "Look, I can understand, but look at it from his point of view. He hears all this stuff about you leading people on and he gets scared. How similarly were you treating him against the behaviour they were talking about?"

"He said I've been telling him the stuff the guys said I would. It's not like I'm trying to tell him the same things but everything I've said is true."

"Then prove it," she looks at him like it’s the simplest solution in the world. "You aren't ready for a relationship, that's fine, but you need to at least make him feel like he's the one you'll choose when you are ready.

She kicks her heels off and grabs her phone to text Nadine. "And making out with him and orgasms together don't count. You can do that with anyone- your past is proof of that."

It's not like Harry is hooking up with other people, it is only Louis but he can see where Gigi's coming from. "I guess I could talk to him."

"As for your friends, figure it out. I'm sure they weren't trying to call you a manipulative asshole." She puts her phone back in her bag and side eyes the boy. "Now that all your drama is over with, do you want to smoke a bowl with me?"

"I've got nothing else to do." It's been so long since he's gotten high, but honestly nothing sounds better.

\------------

Louis turns over onto his stomach with a groan. There's been so much noise in the hallway this morning and it's starting to piss him off. It's Saturday and the amount of noise coming from outside his door for eight in the morning is ridiculous.

He's about ready to drift back off to sleep when there's an insistent pounding on the dorm door. "Louis." Harry's voice calls, "get out here. We need to talk."

Rolling out of bed in nothing but his boxers, he yanks the door open, scowling at the outside world. "What?"

"Louis!" Both Doris and Ernest yell, swaddling themselves around both of Louis' legs. The other set of twins, Daisy and Phoebe, aren't far behind hugging their older brother around the midsection. 

Smiling, Harry hangs back letting all of Louis' siblings attack him.

"What the...?" The confusion doesn't last long as Louis bends down to pick as many of the twins up as possible and hold them in his arms. He covers their hair and faces in kisses and listens happily as they giggle. "It's been forever since I saw you guys!"

"Only two weeks. Geez, Lou. You're so dramatic." Fizzy rolls her eyes as she pops one earbud in so she can always have her music.

"You make it sound like you were off in a war." Lottie says hugging her brother, "I suggest putting your pants on before mum joins us."

"She's seen it all before." He waves off the concern before depositing the four squirmy children onto his bed and pulling the older two in for a hug. "How are classes going? You're all prepared for A-Levels, yeah?"

Lottie shrugs, "as ready as anyone can be I suppose. I see you've made friends. What happened to your 'if anyone so much as breathes in my direction I'll be in prison not uni?'"

"A select few are tolerable... I suppose." He looks over at Harry and has to hold in the want to run over and kiss him. They still weren't talking, but maybe they could set aside their problems for one day.

"Your friend called mum and told her you wanted us to come down so she took the weekend off from work." Daisy explains. 

Harry shrugs like it's not a big deal or anything.

Fizzy looks around the room at all the things that make up her brother. "Plus, it's a good way to look at the University for Lots."

"Guess I should get dressed then. Can you all... Step outside? Only Ernest can stay if he wants."

Ernest smiles and sits on the mattress while the rest of the girls file out into the corridor.

Louis digs around for an outfit to wear after he's shut the door. "Are you holding down the house, Ernest? Being man of the house? It's a big responsibility."

Ernest digs into his back pocket and pulls out an action man figurine that used to belong to Louis. "Play."

"Did you only bring one toy? How can we play when only you have a toy?" Louis grabs his skinny jeans and wrangles them on before leaning over to kiss the head of blond hair. "How about we play some footie? Would you like that?"

Ernest pulls out the Batman figure from his other pocket and looks sternly at his brother. "Play."

Louis sighs and grabs a shirt from the floor and tugs it on before grabbing the batman figure. "I remember having to play by myself till Lottie was old enough to play with me. It sucks being the only boy, doesn't it?"

Ernest shrugs, he's only four besides his twin sister usually play with him. "It's otay. Doris uses her dolls and we play."

"I didn't have dolls or a sister though. You have a great life, buddy." He slips his Vans on and picks his little brother up from the bed and opens the door to the hall. "Alright. How about some shitty cafeteria breakfast."

Jay is there to scold her eldest. "Watch your tongue, Boo Bear."

Harry tries holding in a laugh, but he can't help crack up. "Boo bear, nice."

Louis rolls his eyes. "I told you, mum. They're going to hear a lot worse soon enough. I'm just conditioning them for reception."

"Yeah! If Louis hadn't of said twat as much as he did, we would never have known what it meant!" Phoebe says happily as she recounts the story of hearing the foul language on the playground.

Jay narrows her eyes at her daughter, "there will be no foul language around me. The next person to swear gets a timeout."

"I'd love to see Louis in time out." Fizzy fixes her oldest brother with a small glare before going back to her phone.

Louis just rolls his eyes. "Anyway, I'm really glad you came to campus. I wanted you to see it, but just never got around to inviting you. Plus, now you get to meet Harry!"

Harry waves from where he's standing, "hi. Actually, about the cafeteria food I've got something else planned. If you guys want to head over to my room."

The crowd of Tomlinsons head down the hall, but Louis grabs Harry's wrist. "Not that I don't love this, but why did you invite my whole family to campus this weekend?"

"Just wanted to see where the crazy came from," Harry says. Really he just wants to prove to Louis that he doesn't need to worry, that he won't be like the others.

"Well... Thank you. I was supposed to head home today, but this is already ten times better." He hesitates before leaning in a pressing a kiss to Harry's cheek. "Shall we join them?"

"Yeah, before my dorm burns down." He gets to the front of the pack and opens his door. Immediately a wonderful aroma billows out.

Simmering in a pan on the stove are crepes and two different kinds of sauces, along with a basket of scones sprinkled with sugar, and a plate of hash browns. Harry figured a nice home cooked breakfast would be better.

"Fuck. I need to be an RA. It's complete bullshit that you guys basically get a full apartment and us residents get a bedroom and a communal bathroom." Louis can practically feel his mouth watering at the smell.

Phoebe chuckles. "Lou, that was two bad words!"

"She's right," Jay says, "I want you in the corner. And don't even think about arguing."

Harry laughs and stirs the sauces, grabbing a stack of plates from one of his cabinets.

"I'm in college! You can't do this!" Louis pouts and tries his best to get out of this weird timeout.

"You're still my child and I can still take away your television privileges when you visit." She reminds him.

Louis huffs and makes his way to the corner. "Mum, this is by far the most embarrassing thing you've ever done and that includes the time you tried to give Stan and me the talk when you caught us making out."

"I'm sure I have some baby photos I can show your friend Harry." Jay shrugs. 

A few minutes later Harry starts bringing the food to the table. "So you have your choices between a strawberry and blackberry compote, cinnamon or sugar coated scones, and seasoned hash browns." 

"This smells delicious, you sure you're not studying culinary?" She looks back at her eldest. "You can join us now."

Once they're all seated and their plates are loaded, Louis grabs at Harry's hand under the table in thanks. "So, mum, what do you all have planned for the day?"

"I don't have anything planned. Harry here said he had a schedule blocked out." Jay says, impressed with the food. 

Harry smiles, "just some fun activities for the whole family."

Ernest perks up. "Action man?"

"No one wants to play Action Man with you. Stop asking." Fizzy rolls her eyes and continues to eat and text away.

Louis frowns and looks at his sister. He doesn't remember being that mean when he was a teenager.

"I'll play Action Man with you buddy, we're going to a park after this." Harry says, glazing his crepe with strawberry jam.

Jay sighs turning to her daughter. "Am I going to have to put you time out? Be kinder to your brother."

"Whatever," Fizzy says as she pushes what little bit of food she took around her plate.

Louis looks at his family and smiles brightly. He can't remember the last time he had his mother meet someone he had been interested in. It's a bit weird, but he loves it.

After breakfast Harry stands and takes everyone's plates, getting a sink full of warm, soapy water going to wash the dishes. 

Jay comes to stand by her son. "He seems like a lovely boy."

"Yeah, he really is." Louis can't help the love struck look and the slight warmth in his voice. "He's pretty amazing."

She studies her son but says nothing, "if anything keep him around for a few more meals."

Louis nods, knowing that she's analysing everything he says and does now that pertains to Harry. "Hopefully he'll be around for more than just a few."

"Alright," Harry says wiping his hands on a dish towel, "why don't we head on out? I don't have a big enough car to take everyone unfortunately." 

Jay waves him off, "the kids can ride with me."

"And I'll ride with Harry. It's perfect. I don't even know where we're going." Louis looks at his siblings and feels a rush of happiness surge through him.

"I wanna ride with Lou!" Ernest pouts and stamps his foot emphatically.

"We don't have time to take your car seat out. Now let's go before mummy has to put you in time out too."

\------------

Louis waits until his mum has directions and has pulled out of the parking space to ensure she's gone before he turns to Harry. "Get in the car. I want to make out with you right now."

Harry won't argue with that. He gets into the driver's side and smiles at Louis from across the center console.

"Fuck, thank you for today. I really needed this." Louis leans across the console and smashes their lips together, desperate for Harry after two weeks without him.

Harry weaves his fingers through Louis' hair, his tongue slipping past his lips and into his mouth. God did he miss this.

Louis moans and presses harder against Harry. His hands wander down the front of Harry's shirt, but he won't go any lower. He needs to be sure there's no evidence of this with his mother. "I missed you. I'm sorry I thought you would leave me, but I haven't had the best luck in guys."

"I should have told you, you were nervous." Harry kisses Louis a few more times then pulls away. "Alright we need to leave."

"No, no, no. They can wait." Louis chases the younger's lips wanting more. "Besides, my mother put me in timeout. She deserves to wait."

"Louis, we don't have time for whatever you're thinking." Harry chuckles.

Pouting, Louis sits back in his chair and looks over at his RA. "Your lips are hella plump and red and I just want to bite them and kiss you."

Harry grabs Louis' hand and squeezes his fingers. "We have plenty of time for that, your mum however will get suspicious."

"Like she hasn't caught me doing worse," Louis huffs, but sits back and buckles up quickly. "How did you get ahold of my mum anyway?"

"Kinda looked through your file." Harry shrugs starting the car. "By the way I'm glad you stopped spiking your hair."

Louis looks scandalised for all of ten seconds before breaking out in a smile. "I'll have you know that spiking your hair was the style back then. And why were you going through my file? Isn't that locked up in the RD's office?"

"I may or may not have used my charm and flirting skills to work him over, he gave me the key and five minutes to find whatever I was looking for." Harry's always been decent at getting what he wants.

"Harold Edward Styles, did you break rules to get a cute guy's mother's number? Tsk, tsk." Louis tries to hide his happiness that Harry put his RA position on the line to do this for him.

Harry laughs and pulls out of the parking lot and onto the road. "Well when you put it that way."

Louis can't help it and leans over to kiss the side of Harry's face. "I really do love that you did this for me."

"I just want you to know I'm not messing with you, that this is real. I'm not ready for a relationship yet, but when I am I don't want a relationship with anyone that isn't you."

"Jesus, Harry." Louis' voice is soft and awestruck. He thought that chapter of their relationship was over, but knowing that someday Harry would want him the same way he wanted Harry made him feel ten times lighter. "You can't... You can't say shit like that and not expect me to not make out with you."

Harry laughs lightly, happily. "Sorry, sorry, I'll be careful with what I say moving forward."

"At least when we aren't alone or don't have time." Louis smiles and grabs at Harry's hand to hold. "So what did you plan for today?"

"You'll just have to wait and see." He finds a parking spot along the curb by the park. An hour or two in the sun should be nice.

Louis gets out of car, waving to his youngest siblings as they run through the grass. "I forgot to grab my football. That's a disappointment. There's nothing we Tomlinsons like more than a competitive game of footie."

"I thought you would say that." Harry reaches into his backseat and tosses the black and white football at Louis.

"Oi! Is that a football I see?" Fizzy looks rather excited at the prospect. "Haven't had a proper match in forever."

Louis grins and looks back to Harry. "You any good? We get pretty into it so if you think you can handle it..."

Harry shakes his head, "I've got two left feet. I did bring some bread so me and the younger girls can feed the ducks while we're here."

"Doris and Ernest might enjoy that. Phoebe and Daisy are on a league back home so they'll want to play for practice." Louis smiles before heading to the patch of warm grass to play a quick kick about.

Jay makes her way over to Harry, a twin balanced in each arm. "This is perfect. Thank you for today."

Harry gets out of the car and slides his sunglasses on. "It's honestly not a problem. I wanted to get to know the family that Louis talks so much about."

"I know it will do the kids some good. It's been a rough couple of years at home with the divorce being finalised and having Louis gone." Jay sets the four year olds on the ground and ends up keeping them close.

Harry nods and ends up taking the youngest Tomlinson's down by the pond to feed the ducks while the rest played football with Louis. So far things were going better than even Harry could have hoped for.

"So, Harry. Louis seems to really like you. Are you guys good friends then? He talks about you often when he comes home." Jay says as she watches Doris cautiously. She doesn't want the girl too close to the water.

He really doesn't know how to respond, they're not really friends but they're not a couple either. "I got out of a pretty serious relationship, Louis and I are working through things."

Jay nods and pulls Doris back a bit as she gets too close to one of the ducks. "Look, I hate interfering with his life and his choices, but I'm his mother and it's what I'm good at. I don't know how much he's told you, but he's had it pretty rough in the boyfriend and positive male influence during his life. If you're just going to jerk him around, I would appreciate it if you left now. He's already pretty taken with you, but the longer you wait the more he'll fall."

Harry immediately shakes his head affirmatively. "I'm not gonna do that, my feelings for him are very real and I've made my intentions to him clear. I'll be with him for as long as he wants me."

"He doesn't let go easily, Harry. Just know what you're getting into. You seem like a wonderful boy, but Louis is in his last year of University. He needs to start thinking about about settling down."

"Like I said, I'm in it for the long haul." Harry had never been in love with Nadine but Harry thinks that he might be falling for Louis.

"Well, I'm hoping that he'll want to settle down immediately after college and get a house nearby so he can still help out with the kids." Jay grabs a piece of bread and breaks it into smaller pieces for the ducks.

Harry never actually talked to Louis about any of this. Harry doesn't want to live anywhere near here, he's planning on moving to another country after he's finished his schooling.

"Has... Has he said anything about coming home? I know he wasn't too happy about leaving Oxford." Jay watches as Ernest throws chunks of bread at the ducks' heads.

"We haven't really discussed anything like that." Harry shrugs.

She looks up to the field where she can hear her daughters laughing and her son shouting. "I know he was upset about leaving his senior year, but he never really talked about it. I just assumed he'd be okay with coming home."

Eventually Harry runs out of bread and they head back near the pitch to watch the rest of the game.

Louis collapses as he lets Phoebe kick a ball right through his legs to allow her to score the winning goal. "Just like that, The Tiny Tommos win the Premier League Cup!"

Ernest, who is sitting comfortably in Harry's lap, claps enthusiastically and bounces excitedly. "Play!"

Harry kisses Ernie's cheek, "do you want to play football or do you want to play with your toys?"

"Action man?" Ernest smiles up at Harry and pulls the toys from his pockets.

Louis comes over and lays on the grass next to his brother and RA. "Did you enjoy feeding the ducks? I know Doris loves animals."

"Had to make sure they weren't gonna tumble into the water and this one almost got his fingers snapped off by a duck but overall I think they liked it." Harry says taking one of the figurines.

"You're a mess, little man. Why do you always like to live on the edge?" Louis runs a hand through the blond waves and looks up at Harry.

Harry can't help but lean down and kiss Louis. "You can't just look at me like that and not expect me to not want to make out with you."

Louis laughs. "You're using my own words against me you animal." He chuckles and leans up to kiss Harry once more. "This day has been absolutely amazing."

"I thought this would be a nice afternoon. So have I proven myself worthy?" Harry asks.

"I think you earned more than a make out," Louis whispers before kissing him once more. "I'm sorry I doubted you. I just haven't had many guys like you in my life."

"I should have been clear with my intentions. It doesn't matter now though, I think we both know what the other is looking for." Harry smiles.

Fizzy gags as she spots the two canoodling in the grass. "You two are disgusting. Do you mind not being so cute when others are around?"

Harry laughs and shrugs, "I think that's physically impossible for your brother. He's stuck being cute."

"Well," Lottie starts with a wary look to Harry, "tell us about yourself. You obviously know a lot about Louis, but we don't know you. How do I know my brother isn't dating a serial killer?"

Harry nods, "fair enough, only I wouldn't make a very good serial killer I would probably send the family a letter of apology." He tries to think of anything worth knowing about him, talking about himself is a broad enough topic. "I'm from Holmes Chapel, I'm majoring in primary education, I do yoga every morning, I have a secret obsession with Geordie Shore, I love baby animals, and my favourite colour is orange."

"Geordie Shore?" Lottie smiles brightly at the tall boy. "Good enough for me! Louis, keep this one."

Louis rolls his eyes, but smiles. "Is Geordie Shore all it takes for you to like a guy? My last boyfriend liked Geordie Shore as well and remember how that turned out?"

"He also thought it was acceptable to hit on mum," Fizzy rolls her eyes, that guy creeped her out.

Harry laughs, why is he not surprised? "Well I won't hit on anyone that isn't your brother. Unless it's Cher."

Louis turns to look at Harry, a disgusted look on his face. "Cher? You could have picked anyone in the world and you picked Cher? That's disgusting, mate."

"Yeah, at least pick someone decent looking and more your age." Lottie wrinkles her nose in dissatisfaction.

"Cher is a star!" Harry says, very much offended. "She's the one that made 14 year old me comfortable with my sexuality. Cher and Madonna."

"See, Madonna would have been an acceptable answer. Do you wish change it?" Lottie asks as she picks grass from her shorts.

Ernest, who isn't happy with all the sitting, slaps at Harry's thigh. "Play!"

Shaking his head Harry says in his best Batman voice, "never. Now, I have a child who needs to play."

Shaking his head, Louis looks to his phone to see that it's already going on noon. "Do you have anything else planned for the day? I want to take my family out to dinner, but I have to go back and shower."

"Actually I do. Niall's older brother works at the zoo and promised to get us in for free. There's a restaurant nearby I've been wanting to try." Harry says.

"Animals?" Doris asks. She's very much in love with animals and Louis loves to encourage the four year old in everything she does.

Louis pulls her into his lap and holds her close. "All of the animals. Do you want to see the animals, Doris?"

Ernest agrees with his twin, "animals! See the penguins and lions!" 

Smiling, Harry is glad they seem to be on board. "The zoo it is then!"

"Back to the cars we go," Jay says happily as she reaches out for his youngest son's hand. "Come on guys. Into the car; Louis are you riding with Harry again?"

Louis looks at Harry with a questioning look just to make sure. "Yeah. Put the address in the GPS and we'll meet you at the main entrance."

Nodding Harry heads to Jay's car where her phone is mounted on the dashboard, typing in the address before backing out. "We'll see you there!" 

He grabs Louis' hand and waits until Jay leaves the parking lot to push Louis up against the side of his car, kissing him a couple of times. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of kissing you."

Louis smiles and tangles his fingers in the curls he's come to love. "I do believe I told you that you deserved more than a make out session. Want to hop in the back seat and let get my mouth around you? Or you drive to the zoo and I'll blow you while you drive? The second one saves a lot of time."

"Your mouth on my dick isn't worth us crashing into a tree." Harry says, unlocking the car with the button of his key set.

"Not worth it? It's totally worth it." Louis says jokingly before stretching up on his tiptoes to kiss at Harry some more. "You get one blowjob and now you’re addicted? Either my mouth is that good or you just love sex." Louis climbs into the backseat and looks around before pulling Harry inside and quickly closing the door behind him.

"Both," Harry says pulling Louis up and into his arms, attacking Louis' mouth with his. He laughs again and shrugs, "I'm naturally half hard around you."

"Stroking my ego will get you everywhere," Louis says as he kisses Harry once more. Slipping his hand into Harry’s boxers, Louis wraps his hand around Harry's length and starts to slowly tug at Harry's cock.

Moaning Harry thrusts his hips up into Louis' fist, "you're the fucking best person ever."

Louis leans in, sucking a bite mark at the hip of his RA. "Tell me how much you want me."

"I want you, all of you. Everything about you. In every way imaginable I fucking want you." Harry says between breathy gasps.

"That's better," Louis says with a soft smile. He knows they need to hurry, his mother isn't above coming back if she thinks they're up to something. Placing one final kiss to Harry's hip, Louis takes the head into his mouth, humming at the taste before letting his mouth sink down around the boy.

"Oh my god," Harry draws out every word, his fingers going through Louis' hair and pulling him closer to his pelvis.

Louis moans, mouth full of Harry, and pulls back a bit. He wraps his hand around the base of Harry's cock, not wanting to choke again. "Want you to fuck my mouth Harry. Can you do that for me? Fuck my mouth and come down my throat."

Harry bites into his lip, looking at Louis through half lidded eyes. "I don't want to hurt you like I did the last time."

"It's fine. I'm expecting it this time. You won't hurt me, I promise." Louis guides Harry's hands to his hair and pouts up at him. "Please, Harry? This way we don't waste time trying to find what you like. Besides, you can't leave any bruises this time so this is the next best thing."

"If you're sure." When Harry sees no hesitation he waits until Louis' situated himself, slowly moving his hips up into Louis' mouth, groaning not so quietly.

Wanting to make sure Harry knows he's okay, Louis runs his nails down the boy's torso wanting to mark him up. He closes his eyes and moans at the feeling of being used for someone else's pleasure.

Harry quickly loses himself in the gratification, bucking his hips up and into the warm, wet heat. "Louis, Jesus Christ."

Louis can feel the tears spring to his eyes as the back of his throat is hit repeatedly, but it's a good feeling. He loves being able to please Harry. The fact that Harry isn't going to leave him makes this whole situation better. He whines as his own jeans become right across his erection and he's reaching down to get himself some friction and relief. He needs this as much as Harry does.

Eventually Harry pulls Louis off of him and sits up, pushing his jeans down to his knees. He pulls Louis on top of him and starts grinding against him.

"Fuck! Oh, shit." Louis rolls his hips to match Harry's movements as best he can and he can feel the pleasure inside him growing more and more with each passing moment. "Harry, I'm fucking- oh god."

Harry pushes his tongue into Louis' mouth, and speeds up his movements. The band inside of him tightens and tightens until it breaks and he's coming between them. Hiss cum splashes onto Louis and the hot liquid against his skin is what finally pushes him over the edge. He moans loudly, his entire body tensing as he comes onto his own stomach.

Still caught up in the moment, he crashes his mouth against Harry's. He's desperate for Harry's touch, taste, and voice.

Harry kisses back until he has to push Louis away when his dick becomes too sensitive. "Wow, just... Wow."

Louis just smiles and lays there for a moment. It's nice and peaceful and Louis could honestly drift off to sleep, but his phone is buzzing incessantly. "Ugh, you answer it. I don't want to talk to anyone."

Sighing, Harry digs though Louis' pocket and slides the green button without checking the caller ID. "Hello?"

"Where are you boys? We just got to the gate and we're waiting for you." Jay sounds a bit frazzled on the phone.

"We got stuck in traffic, we'll be there as soon as we can." The lie is automatic and hopefully believable.

"We'll see you soon then. Oh, and tell Louis that the next time he wants to fool around with you, make sure he takes his phone out of his pocket so he can't butt dial me." Jay can't believe that Louis was that careless.

"Oh my god," Harry groans in embarrassment. "Yeah we'll be there." 

He hangs up and covers his red face. "Oh my god you butt dialed your mum and she heard us."

Louis can only laugh. "That's my luck. She's walked in on me making out with someone, with my cock in someone's mouth, and with someone else's cock inside me. Only fitting that she's personal with you now."

This has never happened to Harry, he's had Niall walk in before and that wasn't really all that humiliating. "Let's just clean up and go."

\------------

"Elephant!" Ernest squeals from where Harry's got him balanced on his hip, pointing at the large, smelly mammal lumbering around it's cage. 

Nodding Harry reads the plaque out loud to the small boy in his arms.

Louis has Doris in his arms and the small child is banging relentlessly on the side of the enclosure. "In, Lou-Lou! I want to go in!"

"We can't, love. The animals know we're not other elephants." He kisses at her flaming red curls.

Slowly they move away and towards the giraffes. Harry smiles, "my nan used to tell me I walked like a newborn giraffe."

"You still do sometimes," Louis teases before leaning over and kissing Harry's cheek. "Ernest, can you see the giraffes, buddy?"

Ernest looks at his brother, unimpressed. "Duh! Look how tall they are!" 

Harry laughs and moves the tot from his hips to his shoulders so he sits up higher.

Fizzy rolls her eyes. "Can we see the panda bears anytime soon? That would be better than these animals."

"But my favourite animal is the lion and they're right there." Louis gives her an unimpressed look before turning away and back towards the she can respond.

"Don't worry we'll hit the enclosures everyone wants to see. We still haven't gotten to the monkeys," Harry says moving on to stare at a sleeping lioness.

"Aren't they beautiful? Even when they're asleep they're so dangerous and powerful." Louis says in awe of the sleeping animal.

"You just like them because they represent the English footie team." Lottie says with a laugh as a male lion walks up to the female and nudges her awake.

They watch the animals walk around their cage a few times. "To the pandas then?"

The group cheers and starts to move on. Louis sighs and gives one last wistful sigh as he looks at the lions before hurrying to catch back up to the group.

"What's your favourite animal, Harry?" Doris asks as the reach the building where the pandas are housed.

"My favorite are the koalas." Harry says putting Earnest on the ground so he can put his face up against the glass.

"Bears! Doris, bears!" Ernest bangs on the glass in glee before turning to his twin and growling like a bear.

Doris giggles and growls back her brother. She then chased him around the room, growling and laughing.

"I love kids," Louis says as he watches his siblings have a wonderful time.

Nodding Harry leans up against the glass and watches them. "I was, I was actually pretty disappointed that Nadine wasn't pregnant. I was ready to be a dad."

"When the time comes, you'll be a great dad. I know it." Louis says with a smile. "Niall told me about the pacifier... You really wanted a little girl, didn't you?"

"I wanted a best friend again." Harry says. Niall is his best friend, yeah, but Gemma was someone else entirely.

Louis looks at Harry with sympathy in his gaze. "You know she wouldn't have replaced your sister... Right?"

"No, but she would have been mine and she would have loved me." Shrugging Harry pushes himself off the glass and heads off to a food cart nearby.

Louis hurries and rounds his siblings up. "Come on. We need to go see Harry's favourite animal."

Daisy grabs Louis' hand and walks with him. "Harry seems nice. Are you two gay together?"

"Um, well," Louis looks over to where Harry is buying ice cream. "Harry is very nice. I like him very much. We aren't gay together though. Maybe someday we will be."

"Really?" Fizzy says, "you aren't gay together? Pretty sure mum didn't hear you playing checkers when you butt dialed her." 

Coming back Harry hands ice cream cones to the kids. "Alright let's go see the amphibian and reptile house."

"You were playing checkers? That game is boring!" Ernest looks back and forth between the two older boys.

Louis blushes lightly. "Geez, did mum have the phone on speaker or something?"

"No but you know mum, she loves to gossip." Fizzy laughs. 

Harry's not far behind Louis, turning a similar shade of pink. "Hey, did you hear that? Sounds like it's time to look at more animals."

Doris and Ernest cheer as they lick their ice cream and hurry to try and go see more animals. Fizzy just rolls her eyes and accepts her ice cream and heads after her younger siblings.

"Well, Daisy thinks we are gay together. That's always fun to navigate." Louis sighs and reaches out to hold Harry's hand.

"Well we are technically gay together." Harry says, looping his fingers through Louis.'

Louis laughs and swings their hands as they walk on. "Well to her that would mean dating and we aren't dating. We're on the way to dating though."

"We definitely are." Harry smiles reassuringly at the other male.

\------------

After their argument in the cafeteria Zayn thought it would be a great idea to take Niall out on a date. Niall isn't complaining especially when he realizes they're pulling up to a pretty high end Italian place he's only ever gotten to try once. He really doesn't know how this evening with Zayn will go but even if it does go bad, hey free breadsticks. 

Niall gets out of the car and heads up the marble steps and into the upscale building towards the host stand.

Zayn follows Niall up the steps, his hand coming to rest at the boy's lower back as they make it to the hostess stand. "Reservation for two under Malik."

The woman nods and looks through a book until she comes upon the name, grabbing two menus. "Follow me this way." 

Niall nods and follows close behind until they're being seated at a booth in the back.

Zayn sits across from Niall and smiles tensely at his boyfriend. "I'm glad you were free tonight. I have shows booked for the next week solid."

"Yeah I almost stayed in to study," Niall shrugs staring intently at his menu. He's still not over what happened and Zayn still hasn't tried to apologize for not having told Niall.

"Can you at least look at me please? I'm trying to have a conversation with you and figure out how we can move past this. Or are you not interested in moving past this?" Zayn is tired of always being on the defence in this relationship. He never tells Niall when something is bothering him, but apparently when Niall is upset it's World War III.

"I'm trying to order food, something you do at a restaurant you know." Niall rolls his eyes at the menu but finally looks up at his boyfriend. "Happy?"

Zayn looks even less impressed with the sarcasm and placating attitude. "Not really. Why is me being friends with Gigi such an issue?"

"If you bothered to listen I already told you. I don't care if you want to be her friend but you never told me you were hanging out with a random, attractive girl alone for who knows how long. Do you want me to start hanging out with random, attractive guys and not tell you?"

"Are you really worried about me cheating on you? Niall, that would mean that I need to find her attractive. She's pretty, sure, but she's not my type. I go for intelligent blond's who actually give a shit about my music." Zayn can't believe that Niall doesn't trust him.

"You cheated in your last relationship." It's a low blow and Zayn hasn't done anything to make Niall think he's cheated with him but he had cheated on his ex Perrie a couple of times.

Zayn looks down at the table, angry that Niall would bring that up. "Let's not forget who I cheated on her with, darling."

As soon as the waiter arrives, a relatively attractive guy around their age, Niall orders a bottle of wine. He's going to need to be a little drunk to make it through tonight.

"Now that I've got you to pay attention, let's talk about this. Yes, I did cheat on my last girlfriend and I did feel horrible after everything ended. I lost a friend when Perrie found out, but I accepted that I did something unforgivable. I didn't think you, of all people, would throw that back in my face. I thought you, the guy I love so much that I willingly stepped out of my engagement for, would know that I would never do that again. You knew exactly what you were doing when you slept with me the first time. You knew and yet still wanted something secret. Why don't I ever accuse you of cheating if you were so willing to go along with my cheating?"

"You just don't understand. You're wildly attractive Zayn and every relationship you've had and every person you've slept with until me has been a female. I'm just waiting for you to realize you probably don't even want to be with a guy and that you'd rather be with a girl." It's a big insecurity of Niall's, Zayn doesn't identify as anything other than heterosexual, that Niall is the exception to it. How long can he be an exception though? How long before Zayn wants to get married and realizes that he wants to marry a girl instead?

Zayn takes a deep breath and rubs at his forehead in frustration. "I get your fear. I do understand that maybe you are scared of that, but don't project your fears onto me. I love you, Niall James. And there's no woman alive that can compare to you. Do you understand?"

There are unshed tears welling in his eyes and he has to look away. "You could do so much better and I don't even think you realize that. I mean look at you."

"No. No, we're not doing that. I love you and what you think I deserve and can have doesn't matter. I have the most amazing guy in all England and I wouldn't change that for the world." Zayn says sternly as the waiter sets down the wine that Niall ordered.

Niall wipes his eyes on his shirt sleeve and takes the bottle after the waitress pulls the cork out with a corkscrew. Pouring himself a glass he slides around the booth and leans against Zayn's side, his head on Zayn's shoulder.

Zayn sighs and kisses his boyfriend's hair. "Are we okay then? Is there anything else we need to talk about?"

Niall just shakes his head. This was their first real fight and Niall never wants to fight with Zayn again.

A buzzing from the table catches Zayn's attention as the screen of his phone lights up to show a message from Gigi herself. "Do you want to answer that?"

Niall grabs the phone and sees the text message. An overwhelming surge of jealousy floods his body and he's quick to unlock his boyfriend's phone. 'Why don't you find a dealer that's actually interested in fucking you?'

Zayn watches over his boyfriend's shoulder. "Jesus, Niall. She's one of my best customers. Don't let her leave. She buys at least three times a week. That's like £900 a week."

Niall sighs, "sorry, sorry I'll text her back." He's really not sorry at all and he almost wants to see her response.

Gigi manages to send back a text full of question marks before Niall can even send a different text.

"God. I hope didn't just lose a huge customer." Zayn groans, but he doesn't move to take the phone from Niall.

'Sorry I meant to send that to someone else.' Niall puts Zayn's phone in his hand and sighs. "If you want to go smoke and hang out with her or whatever after I'll try and not be too jealous."

Zayn looks at his phone and sighs. He send one last texts and pockets his phone. "I told her I'd send the product home with you and you would take the cash. There will be £300 from her, so just count it before you leave; she tends to try and say she doesn't have the cash and wants to have an IOU."

"Why would she do that?" Niall asks, pausing to order his food when the waiter comes back with a server pad and pen.

Zayn orders the same thing so Niall would have plenty of leftovers for his dorm. "Because she either didn't want to play or she was hoping to pay with a different form of payment."

That gets Niall to look at Zayn, "what do you mean a different form of payment? A credit card? A check?"

"The first time she showed up short on cash, she wanted to trade a blowjob for the rest of what she owed me." Zayn shrugs as he sips at his wine. "Told her that I had a boyfriend and wasn't interested. She tries every now and then, but she always has the full amount in cash since I always say no."

"What the fuck?" Niall can't help but let it slip, he doesn't even know what to say. "She offers to blow you? I- What the hell."

"She knows I'll say no, so I think she does it just to be funny at this point." Zayn shrugs and wraps an arm around Niall's waist.

Niall's not seeing the humor but he doesn't say anything. He's not going to say anything, he'll say what he wants when he collects money from Gigi.

\------------

Zayn pulls up outside of the dorm that he knows Gigi stays in. He pulls a baggie out of the glove box. "This is for Gigi. I'll text you when I get home. I have a week of shows down in London so I'll see you when I get back."

Niall puts the bag in his pocket and leans over the console, kissing Zayn roughly on the mouth. Zayn is his.

Zayn hums into the kiss and pulls back to look at his boyfriend. "I love you, okay? Don't forget that. You're the only person I want."

"I trust you." And he does, he doesn't trust every other bitch though. "Have a good time in London, keep your phone on; we'll sext." 

With that Niall gets out of the car and heads into the building up to Gigi's room, knocking on the door.

Gigi answers and she's all smiles. She's wearing her bed cami and bed shorts. "Oh hey! Sorry, I wasn't expecting you this late. Come on in. My roommate isn't here so we're okay."

All Niall wants to do is yank Gigi's hair out of her scalp but he's pretty sure Zayn would never talk to him then. So he walks in instead and digs the sealed bag out of his pocket, holding it out to her.

She grabs it happily and holds it tightly. "Perfect! Let me get you the cash. God, it must be great to have your dealer as your boyfriend." She rummages around in her purse for the money.

"Hm, yeah. Sometimes I have to worry though, never know if any of his clients are going to offer him a blowjob instead of money." Niall shrugs nonchalantly.

She falters in her search and lets out a nervous chuckle. "I'm sure he wouldn't take the blowjob though. He's much too loyal."

Niall nods. "He wouldn't. It's not him I'm worried about though. It's whoever would disregard the fact that he's in a relationship."

"Look, I'm just being funny with him. The first time I showed up, I really was short on cash. My last dealer paid the difference with sex. I didn't know he was dating you. I do it now because it's funny and he just rolls his eyes and I hand over all of the money."

"Could you see why I wouldn't find it funny when someone offers my boyfriend oral sex?" Niall crosses his arms.

"Well I was going to offer you a blowjob as well, but I see that the answer is a no." Gigi tries for laughter, but her nervous laughter is all that's heard.

Niall knows he can go about this a few ways but he's going to be nice for Zayn's sake. "I would appreciate it if you just stopped, joking or not it makes me uncomfortable and honestly I don't really want him around you but I'm not gonna tell him who to hang out with."

Gigi nods and finds the money she had been searching for. "Yeah, okay. Here's the £300 for the drugs."

"Thanks. I'll see you around I guess." Niall takes the cash and heads out into the corridor. That went better than he expected.

Niall's phone buzzes, a text from Zayn lighting up the screen with a goodnight message and a bunch of hearts.

Niall sends him a kissy face emoji and knows that everything is alright in the world.

\------------

"Watch your step," Harry says with his hands over Louis' eyes leading him into his dorm. Harry's surprise had gotten ruined by the rain so he had to think quick and improvise. He thinks he did pretty well.

Louis has his hands out in front of him, making sure it was safe to walk ahead. "Where are we going? Harry, why are you acting all giddy? Oh, God. You're going to kill me aren't you?"

"Yup I have it all planned out." Rolling his eyes Harry stops once they're in the living room, moving his hands. "Ta da!"

The sofas are pushed off to either side of the room, and there's a blanket laid out in the center with a picnic basket on top and a few dozen lit candles surrounding the area.

"Harry, this is..." Louis looks around taking in the sight of the entire room bathed in candlelight. "This is amazing. You sure know how to wine and dine a guy."

Harry shrugs. "It's all those rom-coms I watch."

"What's the occasion?" Louis smiles as he gracefully folds himself onto one of the pillows placed on the blanket.

"Am I not allowed to want a nice night in with the most wonderful guy on campus?" Harry sits down and pops the basket open, pulling out two cellophane wrapped sandwiches he had made.

Louis smiles brightly and leans over to give the younger a kiss. "I guess there's not a reason to not want to spend a night with me."

Harry starts eating and makes small talk about his day and what he's done while his mind slowly starts to stray to the actual reason he even set this up. 

"So," Harry pauses and pours both of them a glass of Moscato, "there actually is a reason I planned all this."

Louis takes his glass and swirls it lightly. "I knew it. How many blowjobs is this going to cost me?" He hopes the teasing tone is enough for Harry to know that he's not serious.

"At least three," Harry says and kisses Louis' cheek. He's beyond nervous, he knows there really isn't a reason to be but there's always a possibility that Louis might not be ready. "I probably should have done this before I had salami breath."

"Harry, come on. I'm sure that whatever it is isn't that bad." Louis frowns as he reaches out to take Harry's hand. The hesitation is starting to make Louis pretty nervous.

"I haven't had fun like this with someone in so long. Whenever you call or text and I see it’s from you I get so overwhelmingly happy. It's been rough for me this past year without my sister and not having my parents and relatives there but you make me forget about all of that. As long as I've got you I don't need anyone else and I want you to know that when I look at you I see a future. Christ it probably sounds like I'm going to propose and I kinda am in a way. Would you be my boyfriend?" Harry's heart is drumming against his rib cage.

Louis blinks at his RA a few times trying to take his words in. "You want... You're ready? You really would want to be my boyfriend?" He hopes the smile that overtakes his face is as bright as it feels to him.

Nodding Harry weaves their fingers together. "I've never wanted someone to say yes so badly."

"Yes! Of course, Harry. Why were you even nervous?" Louis leans over again, pressing their lips together once more.

"I'm always nervous around you." Harry murmurs against Louis' lips.

Louis pulls back and sets the wine glasses away from them before surging forward once more. "This was perfect. You met my family and everything... Thank you so much, Harry."

Harry ends up on his back with Louis on him, his hands automatically wrapping and enveloping him. "No, thank you for making me realize that I don't give myself enough credit and that I deserve to be happy."

"I know that this was a big step for you, but I love you. I'm not expecting for you to say it back to me because you're not there yet, but I've been falling in love with you for awhile and the day you brought my family out here to surprise me really showed me how much you care and that's enough for me right now."

Immediately Harry roughly grabs Louis' hair and pulls him into a searing, furious kiss.

Louis gives a startled yelp, but melts into his boyfriend's grip kissing him back with just as much passion and need. "Mark me up. I'm all yours."

Harry looks at Louis, his eyes blown and dilated. "Can, do you want to have sex? I understand if you're not ready for it."

"I mean, the atmosphere in here is perfect for a bit of intimacy." Louis leans in and kisses at at Harry's jaw. "Liam won't walk in on us, will he?"

That gets Harry to smile. "He's at his parents place for the weekend."

"Then why am I still clothed?" Louis sits up a bit, straddling the younger's waist and pulling his fitted shirt from his body.

"I ever tell you that your body is the only place I'll never get tired of exploring?" Harry asks.

Louis can feel the blush creeping along his chest and body. "Oh please. My body is nothing compared to yours."

"You might think that, but I've never seen someone more attractive." Sitting up Harry pulls the loose collar of his shirt over his head and gets up to go and grab a condom.

Louis watches his boyfriend make his way back towards Louis and stops him before he sits down. "I love you."

Getting to his knees, Louis undoes Harry's trousers and tugs them down. He peels back his boyfriend's boxers as well and wraps a hand around Harry's half hard cock. "You look good from this angle, you know that?"

Harry moans, whatever answer he has dying on his tongue, letting his hips move with Louis' hand.

Leaning in to kiss at Harry's thighs, Louis drags his teeth across the flesh there lightly. He can feel Harry hardening in his hand. "I need you to be rough with me. Need you hold me down and mark me. The more marks, the more I know you like it. Please, Harry..."

"I'll push you over my knee and spank you if you want." With Louis' hand around his cock he could get Harry to do anything.

"Yeah? Would you... Would you be okay with me calling you a name? Like... Could I call you daddy?" Louis hates this part of new partners. He has to know if this name calling and complete dominance is something Harry will accept or if Louis has to repress it.

That shouldn't turn Harry on as much as it does, but he gets harder until it almost aches. "Yes, oh my god."

Louis smiles brightly, all of his nerves about the night gone. He kisses once more at the crease of Harry's thigh before looking up at him, eyes shining with happiness. "Thank you, daddy." He ducks down and takes the head of Harry's cock into his mouth.

Harry's eyes literally roll into the back of his head and his hand finds Louis' hair, tugging harshly.

A moan is all the response Harry gets as Louis takes him further into his mouth. Wanting to prove he can be good for his new boyfriend, he relaxes his throat and takes as much as he can until Harry's cock is pushing its way down his throat.

"Your mouth is unreal, the gods made it." Groaning Harry locks an ankle behind Louis' neck.

Louis pulls back so he can breathe and looks up at Harry. There's a thin line of spit connecting Louis' mouth to his boyfriend's dick and he brings a hand up to wipe it away. "I want you to fuck me, daddy. Please, I need it. I need it so badly, daddy."

There are so many different ways Harry wants to fuck Louis but he figures he has plenty of time for that. So he stands Louis up and grabs him by the back of his thighs until Louis' got his legs around him. Carrying him into his room and dropping him on the bed, "I want you as comfortable as possible."

"As long as I'm with you, I'll always be comfortable." Louis means it too. He's never felt this safe with a partner before but he knows Harry would never hurt him. "You're going to have to open me up. I haven't... Done that since last semester. Seemed pointless when all I wanted was you to do it."

Nodding, Harry holds three fingers out for Louis to suck on.

Louis complies and takes the three digits into his mouth. He makes sure they're properly coated in saliva before letting Harry remove them.

Harry lifts Louis' leg and throws it over his shoulder, pressing one finger against his boyfriend. "If you need me to stop at all, tell me."

As he nods his head, he can feel Harry pressing his first finger inside of him. The first is never uncomfortable, just weird feeling. "God your fingers are long. I didn't ever think about that. We'll explore those possibilities another day though."

"I'll wear my rings next time." Harry bites Louis' hipbone as he pushes another finger in.

Louis' breath hitches as the second finger pushes past the ring of muscles. "Jesus, they'll feel so good against my skin and catching on my... Fuck. Yes. That is the plan."

He continues to scissor his fingers, eventually pushing in the third one until he's sure Louis is good and ready. Removing his fingers he rolls the condom onto his dick and spreads a bit of lube to help. "Ready?"

"Yeah. Fuck me nice and good, daddy." Louis looks up at Harry with a loving expression, knowing that he can trust Harry; he would never hurt him.

Slowly Harry pushes in until his pelvis is pressed up against Louis. "God I was wrong, your mouth isn't my favourite place; it's in you."

"Shit," Louis' breath is harsh and staggered. He knew Harry was big, but he feels so full right now.

"You cool? You okay?" Harry asks, hovering over Louis and kissing the side of his neck.

"Yeah, yeah. You're just... I knew you were big, but you're thicker than I thought you'd be." Louis smiles softly trying to downplay the intense feelings inside him.

Finally Harry starts a steady rhythm to try and help Louis get used to the feeling. "You feel bloody fantastic."

Louis digs his nails into Harry's back, hoping to focus more on the meaningful moment they are having rather than the slight pain. It slowly ebbs away until it's all pleasure and he realises that Harry is holding back. "Fuck me properly, Daddy."

Harry looks at Louis' face realizing that Louis seems relaxed and able to take it. He grabs Louis' hips and starts to quicken his pace.

Moving his hips to try and meet Harry's thrusts, Louis can hear the high pitched noises tumbling from his mouth. The lighting of the candles cast the younger's face in shadows and Louis can see the raw sex appeal of his partner. "I love you. I love you so much."

Biting Louis' collarbone Harry continues, his hips repeatedly moving faster and harder. "Oh fuck."

"Daddy! Daddy, please!" Louis wants to be marked, to be claimed. He needs everyone to see that he's loved and wanted.

Harry sinks his teeth into Louis' skin a few more times, the rhythm of his pelvis growing sloppy. "I'm gonna-" that's all he manages to say before he's coming.

Louis moans as the feeling of Harry filling him up through the condom gets him closer. He reaches down between then and jerks himself off quickly, coming onto their stomachs and feeling his muscles tighten around Harry inside him.

Waiting until Louis' muscles relax around him he pulls out and tugs Louis into his sweaty side. "You're an absolute beauty."

Yawning, Louis smiles softly and looks at Harry. "I can't believe I get to call you my boyfriend now. Did you give Nadine a heads up about this?"

"Why should I? It was going to happen." Harry says, running his fingers up and down Louis' arm.

"Just wondering if I should flaunt it or hold off to make sure she's okay with it first." Louis feels his skin break out in goosebumps as Harry soothes him towards sleep.

Harry kisses the top of his head. "Whatever you want to do, love."

He yawns once more and lets his eyes drop closed. "We need to tell the boys first. They need to know."

"Could always show up holding hands." Harry shrugs starting to feel exhausted himself.

"We already hold hands," Louis' voice gets softer as he drifts of. "We'll talk about it tomorrow. Make sure you take that condom off or it'll be disgusting in the morning."

Groaning Harry unrolls the latex and tosses it in the waste bin nearby.

Louis smiles softly and shifts so he's half lying on top of his boyfriend. "Goodnight. Love you."

"Night, boyfriend." Harry doesn't think he's ever going to get tired of saying that.

\------------

"So then, my idiot lab partner decides it would a great idea to spill acid all over the table. We had to evacuate the lab and he had to be treated for chemical burns." Louis rolls his eyes as he walks next to Harry towards the cafeteria. Harry's arm is wrapped securely around his waist and he doesn't think he's ever felt this happy.

Laughing Harry opens the door for Louis then puts his arm back around his boyfriend. "I can see Devine doing something like that."

Louis sighs, but smiles nonetheless. "My professor is letting me make up the lab so that's all that matters."

"Harry! Harry! Over here!" Niall is calling for his best friend, tired of not talking to his oldest friend.

It's Harry's turn to sigh. "I should probably talk to them, I'm not even upset anymore."

"Please do. Niall keeps bugging me like I know when you'll stop ignoring him." Louis turns them towards the table, making sure Harry can't leave him.

After they get their food they head over towards the group of guys.

Louis sits down and smiles brightly as he leans into Harry's side. "Thank god we're all eating together again. I would have hated to pick between my boyfriend and my friends."

That catches Liam's attention. "Uh, Louis, did you just say boyfriend?" 

Harry smiles softly, "we made it official yesterday."

Niall looks between the two a bit surprised. "Wait, really? That's... Congratulations! About time. Does this mean I don't have to listen to Louis jerk off to thoughts of you anymore."

"Nope. Now, he'll be fucking me so it'll be a million times better." Louis blows his roommate a kiss in jest.

Both Harry and Liam flush pink. Liam looks revolted, "that's the last thing I want to hear about."

"Oh... I forgot about, yeah. Well, it could be worse. I originally hit on you my first day here. At least I wasn't jacking off to thought about you." Louis pats his friend on the shoulder hoping to embarrass him more.

Harry puts his hand over Louis' mouth and grins at Liam. "There problem solved."

Niall laughs, glad to have the banter back until he sees the last two girls he really wants to interact with. "Incoming. Nadine and Gigi, to your right."

"Harry? Oh there you are!" Nadine is all smiles as she approaches the table. "My mum wanted me to tell you that you're still invited to the annual yacht race. She really hopes you'll be there."

"If you really want me there I could try and make it." Harry says twirling a strand of Louis' hair around his finger.

"I mean..." She watches the way he continuously pays attention to Louis and a spark of jealousy flares inside her. "You wouldn't be able to bring a plus one. The theme is stag night since my mum just found out my dad never had one."

"Well if its stag night I probably shouldn't come." He shrugs like it doesn't matter but he's getting uncomfortable.

Nadine looks between the two of them, desperate for something to pull him back. "You should totally come! There will food and booze and, you didn't hear this from me, lots of strippers."

Harry pulls a face. "I'm not into strippers, besides don't think Louis would really like that."

Louis had been trying to stay out of everything, but when Harry says his name he turns and smiles softly. "Hey, Nadine."

Nadine can practically feel her heartbreak all over again. "Oh hey... So you two are...?"

"Together? Yeah. Look I'm not trying to hurt you, but Louis and I just clicked." He still cares about her.

"I get it... Sort of. Uh, well then I'll just go then. Maybe Olly will go to the party." She's hoping that the hurt doesn't come through in her words.

Harry nods and lets her walk away. "Well that was kinda awkward."

"I really was hoping that she wouldn't be in here." Louis says with a sigh.

"She was going to see the two of you eventually." Liam says and shrugs.

"So who asked who?" Niall asks as he stabs a tomato with his fork.

Louis smiles and looks to Harry. "Well, we had a lovely picnic in his room first. Candles, sandwiches, wine, the whole nine yards."

"Then I asked him. I just realized that I was ready to start something new." Harry says squeezing Louis' hand under the table.

Liam looked between the two. "And then you had sex, didn't you? Is that why a found a used condom in the shared rubbish bin?"

Immediately Harry turns a bright red, he can feel his ears and his neck burn with a blush. "That could be a possibility."

Louis just shrugs and smiles. "I can tell you one thing, Harry is really good in the bedroom. I can see why Nadine doesn't want to let you go."

Laughing, Harry's pretty sure he turns a bright cherry color. "Alright, alright let's talk about something else."

Liam laughs. "We could talk about my sex life instead. It's pretty much nonexistent."

"How were your classes?" Harry asks turning towards Niall instead.

The group continues to talk and eat. It's been a long time since Louis had been this happy, but watching his friends laugh and being wrapped up in his boyfriend's arms he thinks that his future starts now.

\------------

Harry sets the plastic bottle down onto the coffee table and sets the baby against his chest, rubbing her back through her soft pink onesie to help her burp. "Come on baby girl, can't take your nap until you burp for daddy." 

The small baby rests her chubby cheek against his shoulder and gurgles nonsense, staring at the decorated wall. 

They've only had Penelope for roughly three months but she's adjusted so well living in their home, funny enough she has chocolate curls like her daddy and light blue eyes like her papa.

Louis calls out as he enters the home. "Harry? I'm home! Sorry I'm late. Had a kid stay late to redo a lab. How's our little girl doing?"

He sets his bag down and heads into the living room to sit down next to his husband. "Was she finicky today?"

"What are you talking about? She's been precious like always." Harry smiles when he hears a loud burp.

"Whenever I hold her she gets all fussy," Louis says as he tickles her toes. "She doesn't like papa like she loves daddy."

She looks at her papa touching her feet and wrinkles her nose, burying her face in Harry's neck. Harry just shrugs, "I think it's just because I'm at home more. I don't have as many things to handle teaching primary."

Louis sighs and places a hand to her back and rubs slightly. "I know. She's only been here for three months too so I need to take that into account. I'm hoping that the upcoming holiday break will give me a lot more time with her."

"If it makes you feel any better, it sounded like she called her teddy 'papa' today." Harry sits the baby down on the sofa between them now that she can sit up on her own.

"Do you like your teddy bear that papa bought you? Is that it? Do you love your teddy?" Louis picks up one of her toys and rattles it above her head and smiles brightly as she gurgles and tries to grab it from his hands.

Harry smiles at her and if he were an emoji he would have heart eyes. "She's perfect, Lou."

Louis smiles softly and plays tug of war with the toy and his daughter. "I can't believe we found her. Why anyone would want to give her up boggles my mind."

"Actually," Harry says tucking a curl behind her ear, "I talked to her social worker. Guess her mum was really young and couldn't take care of her."

"Well at least that was the issue and not anything worse. When we were looking at the other kids, there were bruises and scars. I can't imagine wanting to hurt your child." Louis gives the toy over to the girl and watches her immediately stick the plastic in her mouth.

"Those people have a special place in hell." Harry looks down at the young girl and makes a silly face.

Louis looks at his husband and daughter, smiling at his small family. "I love you. I hope you know that."

"Love you more." Harry stretches across their daughter and kisses Louis.

Hearing the whines of their daughter, Louis pulls back and looks down at their beautiful princess. "Penelope Gemma Styles-Tomlinson, you are the most finicky baby I've ever met. But I love you no matter what."

He picks her up from the couch and lays her out on his chest as he settles back into the cushions. "I might just sleep here. I'm too tired to get up really."

Harry kisses both of his babies foreheads. "Go ahead and take a nap I'm gonna get dinner started."

Louis hums and smiles as he feels his baby clench at his dress shirt. "My life is perfect."

Harry digs through the pocket of his pants and pulls out the pastel pink pacifier he had bought a few years ago slipping it into his daughter's mouth.


End file.
